Wednesday, January 25th 2006
Thou Shalt Not Dress Like a Slutty Slut at Church… (and Random Points From A to D)

Yesterday Mike and I were going to the final night of a Church Thing. This was especially exciting because we were going with ONE child, Seth-3mth, and leaving THREE kids at home with our babysitter, who is wonderful. (Seriously, wonderful. Not only does she love the kids but she’s a college graduate looking for a teaching job, and she’s drop dead gorgeous. Not that it matters, but it’s odd to have that combination as your babysitter. Oh? AND? Even weirder. She drives a pretty Lexus SUV. Whose babysitter drives a Lexus? Oddly, mine.)

Anyway, back to Thou Shalt Not Dress Like a Slutty Slut at Church. Generally, I’m a jeans girl. Even at church, because we’re that casual and who cares I’m just going to get spit up on anyway, thank you very much, Seth-3mth. But since I’m post-pregnant and stink at weight loss, I don’t have too many options right now. And I’m in denial of this, so NO i won’t go buy more in this size. But alas! The answer has arrived in the mail, in the form of a recent eBay purchase. A NWT (new with tags) cashmere sweater (that was SUCH a bargain) that will look lovely with a pair of pants maybe I can wear. So  I go get dressed, and am doing all the last minute things one does before an Almost Date But Not Really Since It’s Church And We’re Taking The Baby. Like getting dinner stuff ready for the other three kids, tossing in the laundry, kissing heads, etc. And i dash back into the bathroom, AND THANK YOU GOD ALMIGHTY that I did. In the mirror? A big slutty slut in a sweater that is WAAAAAY too small. How I did not notice immediately is beyond me, because it was as obscene as a sweater could be. Not in a good way. Not in a ‘just for you later honey’ kind of way, either. Special thanksgiving prayers were offered just for the fact that i did not walk out the door looking like THAT. ICK.

And now, on with the Randomness…

Random Point A: Did y’all SEE this? Oh my gosh, I felt like such the celebrity. I have no idea how to take a picture from one place and *poof* it to another place like that either, so I’m doubly impressed. And I met new friends, which I am so not good at in Real Life, since i really don’t like to open my mouth and talk. Which can be a problem for meeting new friends, unless your new friends are mimes or something. And I don’t know any. Mimes, that is.

Random Point B: Yesterday my 8 minute shower (on the long side for me, actually) was interrupted SIX times. SIX times by the same child, Caden-1yr. He was amusing himself in the bathroom and kept stepping on things, bumping his head, etc., and each time he needed to open the shower door so that I could kiss his head or foot or whatever. Cute at first, not so much after that. And six times? The kid is actually rather athletic, and not clumsy, and oh my gosh it’s not like I keep knives laying around in there or anything. That was truly an excessive number of kiss needing injuries for one shower. But it did make me resolve to get up and get showered before he wakes up from now until, like, forever. Because, PLEASE. It’s COLD when the shower door opens that often.

Random Point C: Recently I did something amazingly dumb. Seriously, mind-numbingly stupid. See if you can put yourself in my shoes and imagine the horror. Get your favorite author in mind. Got it? Now pretend that Famous Author has a website that you frequent, since you are a Dedicated Fan. Now, pretend that you are in a hurry and intend to leave a lovely witty comment on Famous Author’s website, but for some reason, you accidentally INSULT Favorite Author. Let’s just say you – by accident – imply that by reading the books written by Famous Author, you are a little shallow, and less discriminating. (Are you gasping, here? I am.) And you can’t take it back. Because that’s how this whole stupid internet thing works, apparently, and WHY CAN’T I TAKE IT BACK?. Are you horrified FOR me, yet? Yeah. If you’re interested, you can read it here (Jan 17 comment section), and be convinced first hand of what a butt I made of myself that day. And then you can be thankful that you would never ever do something THAT dumb.

Random Point D: I suck at exercise. I love that lungs burning post-exercise feeling, but actually doing it and getting sweaty is icky. I mean, showers – as already covered here – are hard to come by, and working out and getting sweaty AND having time immediately after to shower? That’s rare. And YEAH, I get it that this is an excuse and not even a good one at that, and I know already. Just sayin, yuck. (I do like lifting weights though)

To be totally inspired by someone doing the whole fitness thing, obviously, you are in the wrong place. But this lady’s dedication is amazing, and maybe I can be her when I grow up.

~hm

5 Comments on “Thou Shalt Not Dress Like a Slutty Slut at Church… (and Random Points From A to D)”

1
Sarah
January 25th, 2006
2:59 pm

Ahhh yes,the shower days. And the post-baby dressing – ack- who am I kidding? My “baby” is almost three and I’m still using that excuse!

A women in my church came dressed in a camisole – not kidding. It was discreetly covered by a really nice jacket but when she took said jacket off – yikes! At least you didn’t almost go in your underwear:-)

2
Stephanie
January 26th, 2006
6:33 am

I agree with Sarah, My babies are 2 and 4 and I’m still using that excuse too:( I end up with clothes all over the bedroom when I am getting ready for church….arghh, and does God really care what we look like as we pray? It’s a girl thing:)

3
Owlhaven
January 26th, 2006
8:02 am

Yeah, I’ve had the sweater problem too, esp while nursing.
Mary

4
mandy
January 27th, 2006
10:17 am

you think 11 is bad, my oldest is almost 15! Oh how I would love to have frozen her at 10.

5
Corina Bowen
January 27th, 2006
12:46 pm

Ahh you are so sweet! I was giggling, reading your blog I missed the other day and was suprised to see my link on there! :-)
If you saw me sweating, panting and looking like a clumsy goof in the mornings…..I think you would be hitting the edit keys!!
As for kids=showers…. I have a kicker for you… I was waiting for my “very important phone call” all day… putting off my shower just KNOWING that they would call about my job interview. Well around 2 I couldn’t take it any more… Next thing I know my 4 year old son comes into the bathroom (who I thought was napping)with the phone. “Mom its some man” I yank back the curtain enough to grab the phone… try to avoid getting the phone soaked in the spray… say a calm buisness like “Hello” It was him!! My future employer!! When my son said, very LOUDLY “Your gonna talk to him Naked?” I choked, the man choked on a laugh and politely said, “Ah mam you can call me back after you get out of the shower.”~~ The next day I had to go sit before him and a board of supervisors…… I believe my face has never been that red!! I have been working here 8 years since… Thankfully he retired soon after I started!

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