Dear Denim Companies of the World:
I have two issues I’d like to bring to your attention. I’ve noticed a certain, disturbing disparity in convenience when it comes to shopping for men’s jeans and shopping for women’s jeans.
It is enviable how men can go to a store, pick up a pair of pants or jeans and buy them – without trying them on. Why is this possible? Because they know their size, and know that the size on the jeans is ACTUALLY the size of the jeans. A 34×34 is always a 34×34 in Men’s Jeans Land.
Women’s Jeans Land, however, is a dysfunctional and scary place. Currently I’m a size 4 in some Tommy Hilfiger jeans, a size 6 in other Tommy Hilfiger jeans (SAME brand, hello?!), size 6 in Eddie Bauer, a size 8 in Liz Claiborne, and a 10 in Anne Klein. That is just. not. right. And would it be better if I bought pants or jeans by waist size instead? Nope. Because if you read this particular Fit Guide, you find out that you should order your true size in some brands, and smaller or larger in others. So what if you think you need a 28? Order a 30 in this brand, and a 27 in that one, but don’t just throw caution to the wind and assume that 28 means 28. In Women’s Pants Land, it simply does NOT. It might mean, "Here 28 means 30, so that you feel skinnier in our brand and come back." It might say "Here 28 means 26 so that your flesh will burble out the top of your waistline. Mmm, flattering."
Another matter concerns The Crack. Men can go buy jeans and not have to wonder if their butt cracks will be expected to serve as accessories. I would like that privilege back, just as I had in 1990. Why do denim companies insist that women are all about the low rise look? Not up to the armpits is good, I’ll give them that, but if you sit and there’s a draft somewhere too private for there to otherwise be a draft – well, that’s wrong. Just plain wrong. If the juniors department has to have the super-low-rise-look-at-this! style, fine! But almost all of the ‘misses,’ too? Really? We’re moms, and we have our hands full. We don’t have a hand free to yank up our pants in the back all the time. And we don’t like our cracks on parade, so please! Give us options, Denim Companies of the World. Styles that fit true to size and don’t cause unintended, random mooning.
Thank you,
Trying to Keep Covered (In sizes 4-10)
You might think I’m crazy, but I sent this to Everyday Hogwash. Have you been there yet?
I love you.
12:39 am
Yeah, but I really would prefer that my jeans size would read, say, a size 10, instead of my usual 14 or so. Ya think that could be arranged in this new sizing system? Please notice I’m not even fantasizing about them saying 4 or 6, like yours (you lucky twiggy girl, you. Do you even *hear* the siren call of chocolate??)
Signed, your size-frustrated, surrounded-by-chocolate-wrappers sister
Mary
7:22 am
I have solved this problem. I had my bellybutton pierced after my youngest was born & the only jeans that didn’t irritate it were men’s Levi’s. Go get you a pair of 28″ waist whatever length, regular or slim fit…depending on the size of your thighs.
I won’t wear anything else!!
7:40 am
This letter is right on! I have to admit that I have the same problem! But I’m a young person and somewhat expected to wear these fashions. ROTFL!!!! I’m in computer class but this is waaaay more interesting than my professor!!!!! So, so, so funny!
Later, Daisy
7:40 am
Thank you for saying what we have all been thinking for years!
You know that obsession I have with J. Jill? One of the reasons is that they make pants that actually fit! They are one of the few places I’ve found where you can get pants that neither come up to your armpits nor show things that should not be seen; and they don’t gap! Who’d have thought that someone would finally figure out that women are shaped differently than men! We have hips and a waist, people!
I love J. Jill.
Oh, and by the way, I hope you win!
7:41 am
Just realized I gave the wrong address. Whoops!
10:24 am
this is hysterical.
and so true! I only wish I were in the size 4-10 range instead of the size 16-20.
Umm . . . when you think about it, what are you complaining about you skinny, little thing. Shut up!
At least in my size they don’t make the pants lowriders. Merciful folks.
11:08 am
OMGOSH~~ what are you doing looking at my blog and saying you need to workout??:-) size 4-10– My goodness I could probably get a size 4 up to my knees, maybe!
I loved your insight on the jean industry! Oh, and don’t you just LOVE the new look with the jewelry on the G-string hanging out of the exposed area that jeans should be? I am soooo thankful I have boys…
12:01 pm
Did you all forget about the very famous stretch jeans!!! It seems that every time I look for a pair of jeans they all have the stretch in them:O. after fifteen minutes they are falling off of my not so there deierre,lol. Great post Kelsey you bring everyday things to a laugh and we all need that:)
1:17 pm
For all you who think a size 4, 6, 8, and 10 has nothing to complain about and has it made…
no envy please. I have the stick figure of a 12 yr old boy – which i am sure none of you want!
1:49 pm
This is too true! I happen to work for a jeans company. They call this “vanity sizing” I call it ridiculous. A size four should be a size four regardless. That way we wouldn’t have to spend hours in the dressing room! Oh well, I guess its a man’s world in more ways than one!!
2:32 pm
Kelsey, I have the same stick figure, only the size 4′s are too long and the size 2′s, if they have them, aren’t quite big enough! And anything that small is definitely low-ride.
When even the resale shops didn’t have anything left from the 90′s, I had to go out and buy a big package of bikini underwear, grin and “bare” it.
At least, at 41, I sure look “hip”!
3:10 pm
Yeah, I’ve seen more women’s cracks that I ever cared to – well I never actually cared to. We have a no crack policy at my studio. I got tired (and I’m sure my clients did too) of seeing my assistants commando crack!
4:11 pm
Yes, I really have a problem with the jeans these days and have whittled the possibilities down to one size in one brand and if they ever stop making Liz Claiborne stretch size 8′s I’m in trouble! As for those low-riders, hmpf! Last time I wore those I was sixteen and so thin I had no figure. I really have a problem if when I bend over someone can pitch pennies into the back of my waistband!
5:23 pm
I have taken note, y’all. Buy men’s Levi’s, J Jill (never tried their pants!), and we even heard from a professional – Heather! Fantastically helpful responses, guys!
5:29 pm
I have another issue with jeans – can we PLEASE make jeans long enough for tall women?? I’m 5’10 and have to order my jeans from Lands End for the simple fact that none of the store bought ones are long enough.
And if, by some weird fluke they are long enough, then the crotch is too short and we ALL know what that looks like! lol
5:54 pm
Go get ‘em, Girl!
And if they fit in the waist, I want them to fit in the hips, seat and thighs, too. And Karen’s right – us tall gals have serious sizing issues. I’m size 6 and the hems reach my shins…except in the capri’s- those look like bermuda shorts on me.
Why do the new jeans styles make my butt look flat and square when it’s just…not?!?
12:22 pm
Amen, Sistah! This explains why jeans shopping requires that an X be placed on the calendar for the entire day. It’s just not right.