I’ve been a little out of touch.
*the Olympics started?
*they’re in Italy? i thought they were in Canada! i turned on the today show and could not figure out why Matt and Katie were in Italy, when clearly they shoulda been in Canada.
*tomorrow is Valentines? i thought today was the 11th. (YES, my 2006 calendar is still unopened and sitting on the diaper changing table.)
*the postage rate changed, like over a month ago? that’s what the sign said at the post office today – the first I’ve heard of it. the guy (not Reynaldo) confirmed its truth and i tried to determine how many bills i mailed with insufficient postage and what might happen as a result.
I have a good reason for not knowing anything, but I’ll get to that in a minute. You know when you started blogging and you wanted to portray exactly who you are an not who you wish you were? Me too. Genuine. That can be difficult when you’re as random as I am, I’ve found. We went on a short trip and I posted two entries about the size of the hairbrush that we took – and no details of anything of importance. When you’re that Seinfeld-ish, lots of stuff just isn’t said. Which is fine! But i started questioning how genuine I’ve been when nominated over at One Woman’s World. For humor. (that’s great since i write as-yet unpublished funny fiction)
But for Happy? This is a Happy Blog? It was news to me. Surprising since my life is… interesting. It made me question how genuine I am here. I’m a happy person going through LOTS OF STUFF i don’t blog about. Not because I don’t want people to know – just because this is my escape from all that. So where is that line, between being genuine and not?
Anyway, here’s a brief look into what’s going on. One of my kids is having some ‘issues.’ Among them are serious rebellion and defiance, but it’s a long list. Last night I had a talk with this child about violence. The kid explained matter of factly that it would probably make him/her feel much better if he/she could just hurt me physically. He/she agreed that yes, he/she has come close a few times to attacking me, and it’s getting harder not to.
SoooOOoo glad for all the years of KARATE TRAINING we gave this kid. Yeah, LOVIN’ that decision. Gah. So yeah, we’ve tried ‘coaches,’ counselors, psychologists and a psychiatrist. We’ll keep trying. In the meantime, don’t worry if I don’t post as regularly. The kid goes to a Christian school and I don’t think he/she can order a ‘hit’ on me from there. I’m not whacked, I’m just busy, promise.
(Why all the confusing pronouns? So you don’t decide you know which kid it is and dislike him/her. This child is amazing with a great future ahead if he/she can just get through this. Not a bad kid at all, so don’t even think it!)
I went on a brisk Mall Walking tour this morning, pushing the ginormous double stroller. The intent was to release endorphins through exercise, which happened. (And that’s where i learned it was Valentine’s tomorrow and that the postage rate had increased.) So, I add that to show that I am taking quite good care of myself.
And I pop a serotonin re-uptake inhibitor each morning, which probably helps as well. Never had post partum depression with the others, but this time I did. You know what’s fun? Taking that little pill and snarling into the mirror, "Take THAT, Tom Cruise!" I did it once and cracked myself up, and now it is a part of my odd daily ritual.
I love you.
2:42 pm
Hey Girl!
Don’t worry, I feel no evil towards your child! Whoever he/she may be. Unfortunately, I went through similar things with my parents, though not quite so strongly. I had a TERRIBLE temper before I became a Christian. There are stories I cringe about when they are told. But growing older and closer to God changed me. I’ll pray that God will be with your child as well. I’ll also pray that He will grant you grace and wisdom to face this. After all, we can do nothing without Him.
3:00 pm
Yes! YOU might not see it as funny, but you have a GREAT way of helping me laugh at things that aren’t normally funny. Especially the Tom Cruise bit, I’m with you on that one.
3:04 pm
Wow, I just looked at the list at One Woman’s World. GREAT LIST! I’m glad you were nominated. You have a very honest, open writing style. Keep it up!
3:06 pm
Hi Kelsey….I sympathize with your struggles! A couple of books that have been of tremendous help to me personally are: Shepherding a Child’s Heart and Families Where Grace is in Place. May the Lord bless you with wisdom, and remember that He is the supreme role model for parenting!
3:28 pm
Congrats on your nomination! I enjoy reading your blog!!
5:01 pm
First, ((((((HUGS)))))
Second, Uprorious laughter at the Tom Cruise remark.
Enough that the cat jumped (was knocked) out of my lap.
Third, so glad to have a fellow blogger who is also trying to be real, and who also has an unconventional sense of humor. And likes to make fun of pompous movie stars.
6:36 pm
Kelsey,
Get your hands on this book somehow: “Hold On To Your Kids” by Gordon Neufeld. It does a tremendous job of highlighting the importance of the parent-child relationship and gives great ways to strengthen it. I was so excited about this book that I read large chunks of it to my husband, and wished I could buy it for every parent I know.
Hugs
Mary
8:39 pm
Hey Kelsey,
Hugs from me too))). I too see these anger strikes in my 4 year old:0… sometimes she jsut gets so angry and will throw things or hit & push anyone in her way. It is an agonizing struggle to see the children you love so dearly have these feelings….Really heartbreaking. I have turned to the Lord for help here because I don’t know what else to do. I will pray for you too:)) I love the Tom Cruise bit too. I was once on those happy pills too, considering them again.
8:49 pm
Well, I for one find it amazing that you have any time for blogging at all! Keep it up…it’ll help you with sanity issues. Btw, did you see K. Billerbeck’s DUH post the other day, the one highlighting the fact that adults with children are more depressed than those without them?? Ha, good one. (Now don’t start judging me or anything. Yes, parents are often depressed, but it is so worth it, is it not?
9:14 pm
You are so so so so funny! I’m loving your blog and can’t wait to read more!
10:17 pm
Well, I wish I could have said that to my mother and lived to tell the tale. He/she will be okay – unless he/she also has a gender crisis going on because Mama talks about him/her with these weird/odd pronoun combinations.
Keep pushin’ that stroller and bloggin’ that blog!
8:39 am
Hugs to you! I hope everything works out with your child. And I am glad you have an escape. Every body needs at least one of those!
10:54 am
What?? your……… Normal? Omgosh.
Girl your blog IS happy.. You are real, honest, and we can feel your relationship with God thru your words.
I will be praying for you, your hubby and your children.. all of them. I know one thing already…. God IS in control.. I don’t worry about any “hit” or “karate classes” (grins) I have a feeling you can hold your own!
11:20 am
Take heart, he/she will eventually find their way. God is the ultimate transformer of hearts. I was also quite a challenge for my parents, (hence being 28 with a 15 year old daughter of my own) But when I met Him, he changed me inside and out. It took me quite some time to go looking for what was missing, I was 22. As for the happy pill, I have to do it too. (as for the side effects? Ginkgo is supposed to help with them, but can’t use it while nursing as there is no research in that area yet…but you can take a few days off of it each week with great results) Happy Valentine’s Day!
1:39 pm
while i too agree that a lot of love can help, remember that there are problems parents can’t solve on their own. keep on seeking solutions for your child. your children area all fairly young to express such feelings of rage/anger/desire to physically harm someone – that is not to be taken lightly.
i love your blog. keep up the good work.
6:33 am
Kelsey, keep the faith. I remember a time when one of my children wanted to hit me….and I seriously considered breaking off his/her arm and beating him/her to death with it….
Hugs from Jeana’s mama