Thursday, February 23rd 2006
Random Thoughts

To the Whole Internet:

If you’re here, I like you. If you share my faith, great. Let’s talk. If not, whatever. We can still talk. I’m good with: shoes, kids, chocolate, or how our views are different IF you want. Either way, you’re welcome here anytime, so please stay awhile, ’cause I like you.

(Judging from emails and comments, there’s a lot of you that don’t share my faith that come to visit. I like that. Really.)

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This weekend we are pretending to be on vacation. Isn’t that a lovely idea? We’ll sleep at home – including naps for the little ones i hope – but that’s about it. The rest of the time we’re going to live it up in our town doing all the touristy things we’ve never bothered to do before. (We don’t live in a tourist-y town at all. I mean, a museum or something. Ha!) The kids are off school tomorrow, Mike’s taking off work (’cause he’s the owner and he can) and our vacation will be Friday and Saturday.

Sunday we’re visiting a new church for business reasons. Oh… sorry, does that sound wrong? We’re buying land from a church for MIke’s new office building, and the purchase is helping them build a new church building. They want to introduce/thank us as the people who are helping meet a financial goal. I think.

GAH. Have I mentioned I’m not good in social settings? It just occurred to me the New Church People might want to call us ‘to the front.’ Not a place I ever like to be. "The Front." It evokes meterological images of a horrific, powerful cold front doesn’t it? I’m not one who like being in The Front of anywhere, especially some new church where I dont’ know if I’m dressed ‘correctly.’ 

In fact, if they want to introduce/thank us, going to The Front is sort of implied is it not? Horror. Seth-4mth will surely yarp on my shoulder, or grab my boobs or something. Explosive poo could shoot out from one of us – hopefully not me – right when we get to The Front. Someone could vomit. (That could easily be me, y’all.) Ethan-5yr could test out his new word, ‘irritated’ in his special, loud voice right at that moment. Kim-11yr could give us all her Prepubescent Death Glare. And all of those who aren’t paralyzed with fear would surely begin praying fervently for our little family, which would probably be a good thing.

Oh my gosh, I’m so glad I’m going on Pretend Vacation tomorrow.

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I need a new place for my Fun Size M&M stash. They were in my bathroom, in a childproofed drawer, but they have to move. They were there because I NEVER get time in the bathroom, so I thought this was perfect! I’d rarely eat them. Which has worked. Except that now Caden-2yr knows which drawer they’re in, as well as how to open it despite the childproofing.The m&ms can’t go in the bedroom because I’ll eat them way too fast, due to serious lack of willpower on my part. They can’t go in the kitchen, because the kids will eat them. And I do not share. So that leaves… my closet. the garage. and the laundry room. All those places seem even stranger than keeping them in the bathroom.  Do any of you have ideas on this?

~hm

27 Comments on “Random Thoughts”

1
Carol
February 23rd, 2006
11:34 pm

Hide them up at the front. The kids will never find them there. If that fails, I’d suck it up and opt for the laundry room.

2
Owlhaven
February 23rd, 2006
11:40 pm

Buy some All-Bran or some other cereal they hate and hide them in the box…

Mary

3
Lauren
February 23rd, 2006
11:59 pm

You need to purchase a false-bottom vase or a fake book you can put them inside and leave on the shelf. The kids hardly ever leave you alone in the living room so you can’t really gorge yourself but when they do leave the room, you don’t have go far to get a hold of your little lovelies. It works for me.

4
moonface
February 24th, 2006
4:20 am

I like Mary’s suggestion – must try that myself!

And the pretend vacation? SUCH a good idea!

5
Stephanie
February 24th, 2006
6:36 am

Mary has a good one there, I must try it myself:) I know how you feel about being in front of people like that. I keep putting off my Oral Communications class at college(it’s like my only core class left). Hate it!!!! Have a great vacation!!

6
Carrie
February 24th, 2006
7:29 am

Wow, are you really that terrified of being up in front of people? I know you have talked before about not being outgoing in person, I’m not either but I don’t know if I was ever that nervous. I’ve definitely mellowed as I’ve gotten older but still feel like a heel in most social situations. Oh well.

Thanks for making me giggle. Can’t help you with the M&Ms. I gave up on hiding things like that a long time ago and am now secure in my own face-stuffing habits.

7
Heather
February 24th, 2006
8:00 am

I sing, so “The Front” of new churches has become normal for me. Just don’t ask me to talk, that’s when I want to hurl. Isn’t it weird that singing is fine, even solos, but the first time I’m asked to talk, I get shaky. Oh well, maybe I’ll get over this freakness someday. If not, oh well!
I’m w/ the lady who said to hide the m&m’s in a gross food box, where the kids won’t even be tempted to touch it!!

8
At A Hen's Pace
February 24th, 2006
8:09 am

The laundry room shelves get my vote. In fact, that’s where my secret supply is stashed.

Peanut or regular? I like the peanut–the protein helps me feel like it’s actually a food group.

9
Kim
February 24th, 2006
8:35 am

We had a pretend vacation last fall. It really was fun!
Oh – hiding “momma’s yummies” is easy. Place them in the linen closet, behind your monthly products. Works great!

10
Addie
February 24th, 2006
8:35 am

Oh my! The thought of one of you guys (maybe you?) having exploding poo made me chuckle! Boy that would be a Sunday that everyone in that church would NOT forget! Hee Hee!

Sorry, I have no ideas for hiding spots. I’m a bad girl and just eat all my naughty food that I don’t want to share, after the kids are in bed. Horrible, fattening, habit!

Enjoy your vacation, we love to do that kind of thing too!

11
Heth
February 24th, 2006
8:39 am

You could hide them at my house… :)

Happy pretend vacation.

12
Faith
February 24th, 2006
8:49 am

I vote for the laundry room. After all, at least if you eat them you’ll know you deserved them. ;D

13
InterstellarLass
February 24th, 2006
8:57 am

Yeah, I’m thinking the laundry room. I’m sure the kids never go in there, right?

Maybe 4mth old would be a good excuse not to go to The Front. Just stay in the pew with him.

14
sally apokedak
February 24th, 2006
8:59 am

You are hysterical. I hate to be in The Front, too, but it has never occurred to me that one member of the family might have explosive poo shoot out. LOL

15
sally apokedak
February 24th, 2006
9:00 am

btw,did you remember to vote for me at everyday hogwash? There is still time. =0)

16
Karin
February 24th, 2006
9:56 am

Okay, absolutely LOVING the food hiding ideas by your commentors. Will use some of them, maybe, if I CAN practice self control next time we have something tasty, that is! :)

17
chelle
February 24th, 2006
10:22 am

not sure if I share your faith, but I enjoy your writing and stories about motherhood.
Sounds like you have the perfect weekend planned!
chelle

18
momrn2
February 24th, 2006
10:29 am

I was here late last night and thought I posted a comment. Maybe I typed it but forgot to “post”… guess I’ll try again.

Your account of your Sunday worries had me cracking up!! Not about you nervous about going up front, but about all the possibilites that could happen. So you know, now come Monday we will all be wanting the details, so we can support you of course! :-) Seriously, I will be thinking of you. And maybe you won’t even have to stand, let alone go forward! We can only hope!!!

19
Corina Bowen
February 24th, 2006
11:06 am

LOL~ I have to be honest…. I wish I was going to be at the church you have to go “in front” in! :-) I would not giggle.. or bring a video recorder (mental note:stuff the recorder in my bible bag)
I know what you mean.. first time I had to get up infront, I could picture myself fainting, hitting my head on the microphone and collapsing in a “less than lady like” position on the floor in my (use to fit)dress.~~ (grins) sorry didn’t mean to give you something else to think about… :-) what are friends for right?
Oh, and your M & M thing.. I love the nasty cereal box… or you can put them in the cabinet with the pledge.. I try to avoid that spot myself.. Hmmmmm make it, everytime I get a bag, I have to dust… My goodness M & M’s would be a thing of the past after a few times of that!

20
Blair
February 24th, 2006
2:08 pm

Too funny – a stash huh? I’ve had one of those before. I don’t like to “share” my goodies either lol. Have you tried the freezer? It may sound goofy but I’ve put stuff in there because by the time it thaws I’ve usually talked myself out of eating it :)

Too funny that you’re having a pretend vacation – we’ve done the same thing. We call it a “weekend (or week) away from ourselves”. We cancel everything we “normally” do and do things we don’t normally do.

Hope you have fun being “in front” lol – I’m not too terrified about being in front of people – however, if I had to sing a solo…well, I would probably cry.

21
Carrie
February 24th, 2006
3:03 pm

I left my TV on today while I was off doing other stuff. When I walked back into the living room, Scott Baio was on the TV! I think it was Diagnosis Murder or something like that. Thought of you and had to share.

Any other cheesy 80′s actors you had crushes on that you would like to admit to? Perhaps Ralph Macchio?

22
Daisy
February 24th, 2006
4:34 pm

Personally, I would stash my duds in an empty detergent box in the laundry room. Like who else would look THERE, right? And you only get to eat some when you do the laundry. So, one of two things will happen: 1) all the laundry will stay caught up, or 2) one bag will last forever because you hate to do the laundry. :)

Good luck Sunday!

23
Jeana
February 24th, 2006
5:04 pm

Don’t ask me, I always hide ‘em in my mouth. Look at you, with your 22 comments! Making lots of friends here! explosive poo–you crack me up!

24
Nutella
February 24th, 2006
5:51 pm

A pretend vacation…How FUN! I am definitely going to try.

25
Geekwif
February 26th, 2006
8:26 am

I know how you feel about the “in front” thing. Terrifies me to no end. I used to play violin on our church worship team. They wanted to put me in front, but I insisted on staying hidden behind the keyboard. The thought of people actually seeing me play…uggh.

As for the M&Ms, definitely the laundry room. The kids would never find them there, and you could eat some each time you did laundry. You know, as a reward for a job well done. Guilt-free hidden chocolate stash.

26
Theresa
February 26th, 2006
11:08 pm

Hi again…sorry, It’s like I just discovered a new piece of chocolate and I can’t get enough of it! I just read your list of 99 – hilarious…we have lots in common: I worship the same God; I love veggies; hate fruit (except bananas); I sleep in socks; I could NEVER do a “low-carb” diet; and…
I’m addicted to plain M&M’s as well. I get my 14.0 oz. bag on a regular basis!! I just recently got the bunnies & friends edition. My suggestion would be to stash them in your underwear drawer or in your car on the side door. That’s where I’ve kept mine on occassion! LOL. Glad I found you. BTW – my personal blog is above, but I’m sure you won’t have as much fun reading it as I do yours!

27
Aida Guerrero
November 12th, 2008
10:23 pm

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