Archive for August, 2006


It’s the 17th, Y’all!

August 16th, 2006 at 10:45 pm » Comments (33)

Breastcancer4312890THis is staying here until we get to 30! (New post below this one)

Ok, here’s the deal…

It’s the 17th!

Women: go do a self breast exam! Really! Not kidding! Go!! (Unless you have a regular time each month you already do this, GO NOW. Thank you.)

Men: Tell a woman. Email this, or something else or somehow remind someone you love.

THEN, leave a comment saying you did it! This is one place where good intentions are not welcome. I just want "Ta Da! I did it!" comments, not "Ok, I might later…" comments. Last month we had a total of  20  "I did its!", so let’s make a goal for 30  this time. Y’all can do it!

(How to do one)

(Myths)

In case you missed it, last month Shalee had this to say:

"Not to be overly crude, but Mr. Right does mine for me. That way he is SURE to remember and I am SURE it gets done…

So, I did it too.

Who’s next?"

I highlight that particular method just for you guys, because Mr. Shalee is clearly a smart guy with a bright idea there.

Also, if you didn’t follow the link from Nicki, do it now! It’s really full of surprising information on IBC – something I’d never even heard of before. It’s well worth your time, so please click away!


HolySister on ‘The Toast Incident’

August 15th, 2006 at 4:03 pm » Comments (25)

You might recall I mentioned a hilarious incident regarding a piece of toast. Well, HolySister wrote about it, and did a better job than I would have – and it was HER piece of toast after all… so without further ado, here is HolySister.

(Except no! It’s still me. And the words below in bold will be mine. All others are hers.)

A glimpse into the life and mind of HolyMama

(Isn’t it weird when someone emails you something that is titled ‘a glimpse into YOUR brain?’ Freaked me a bit, really)

So while I was visiting Kelsey we had all sorts of fun.  She’s already told you about the laughing and snorting and crying, the blue drool, and our discovery of awesome jeans.  This little incident occurred early in my visit, and is worth telling.  First of all, neither of us is really all that sharp in the morning.  We’ve known that for ages.  But while I wake up, not sharp, but HUNGRY, Kelsey wakes up, not sharp, and not hungry.  She doesn’t eat till, like, 11 am.  By that time I’ve sharpened up considerably and am beginning to chew on the walls.  I just can’t go that long without food.  The blood sugar drops and my Unreasonable Side takes over (cue the werewolf music). 

Rather than harm beloved family members or leave teeth marks in the kitchen, we worked it out that I was free to get up and fix myself a breakfast of whatever I liked.  The second morning I was there the breakfast I liked was scrambled eggs and toast.  K kept me company while I cooked and ate.  As I’m buttering the toast one piece gets all acrobatic, flies through the air and lands on the kitchen floor, near HolyMama’s foot.  Butter side up – whew!  K bends to pick it up and then, oh so helpfully, sucks in the biggest breath of air a non-diver should ever need and proceeds to blow like the west wind all over the back of my toast.  I’m not kidding – my hair blew back and I was standing a good 3 feet away.  She was merely trying to remove any cat hairs from my toast, but for whatever reason she chose to do it with the largest possible amount of air one pair of human lungs ever held.  She handed me my toast and then we totally lost it.  We laughed.  I believe we cried. 

(HM here.) And at that moment HolySister said, "I think you blew a whole lot more ONTO my toast than you blew OFF it." And she was right. There had to have been spit. Her eyes were so huge as I handed it back to her, and that was what made me realize I had actually not been that gracious of a hostess with that particular act. Don’ t you want to be my houseguest?!

It still makes me giggle.  The memory of her cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk’s, blowing the hair off my toast for a good thirty seconds – oh, that’s a keeper.

Later on I was telling J-Mom the story and at the end she asked, “Did you eat the toast?”  It hadn’t even occurred to me NOT to eat the toast.  I told her yes and mom laughed again and said, “That’s sweet.”

I also wondered why she ate the toast, but just thought, "Huh. She really does like breakfast."


Denim Delight. “Can I Get an Amen?”

August 14th, 2006 at 5:49 pm » Comments (23)

When HolySister was here we went to a great little store that New Friend told me about. It is ridiculously expensive, but as New Friend correctly pointed out – they have GREAT sales. Like, 90% off sales. Woo Hoo! 

HolySister and I discovered David Kahn jeans in that store. They. Are. The. Best. They’ve been rumored to take 10 pounds off immediately, and we believe it. We kept trying to look at our butts in the mirror and saying stuff like, "Do you see THAT?" and "Oh my gosh – it hasn’t looked like THAT in years!"

Also, plenty of whispered booty compliments for one another, because frankly – in those jeans, in those moments, in that dressing room… they were totally deserved. The saleslady said, "Now those other designer jeans are made to fit juniors. THESE are for WOMEN." She gave us a meaningful nod, and we returned it.

We have our limits, though, and those jeans were waaay over that limit. I just couldn’t imagine spending $200 on a pair of jeans, no matter what my backside looked like in them. ‘Sorta shallow,’ sure, but not ‘sorta nuts.’ HolySister felt the same, so we left the store with some bargains, but not the David Kahns.

Last week I found a pair on eBay for about $75. I bid, I bought, I LOVE them, and am even ok with the price. But since then, I found a PAIR FOR $15!!! Oh yes I really did. The same booty-licious jeans that were $200 in a store here, were miraculously $15 on ebay. (No, not ‘fakes’)

And… the Hallelujah Moment. Fifteen dollars for this particular designer clothing item is a blessing that must be reported, adored, celebrated. Spotting these jeans on ebay at that price…? Exactly like seeing a stunning sunset or sunrise. How can you behold such beauty and not recognize God’s hand in it? Impossible.

And if you care to investigate DKs for yourself, which of course you may not, I’d go for the Lauren fit. The Nikki is a lower rise and was too low for me, but worked great for HolySister. I’m a Lauren fan. And a Lauren fan. Which is totally different, and does nothing for my backside, but that’s ok.


Four Men and their Treadmills

August 13th, 2006 at 12:18 am » Comments (17)

HolySister sent me this. Oh, funny.

Turn up the sound and begin laughing…. now.

(I’m loving the guy in the pink shirt)


I am SO “together”

August 10th, 2006 at 2:05 pm » Comments (20)

You know, as soon as you say something wild and crazy like "I read 282 blogs" then your life gets in the way and you get behind and then you suddenly realize… you can’t possibly read that many blogs anymore. Why was i doing that in the first place, and how in the world do i cut back? And gah, everyone will hate me anyway… isn’t it so much more polite to try to remember the intricate details of the lives of almost three hundred other people?! My approach was to stop visiting all blogs. Smart huh? It just seemed better than picking and choosing, which of course it is not. Gah.  Something to work on, I suppose.

School starts on Monday. IT’S THURSDAY! Hello? When did this happen? I know. If I’d been visiting blogs, I woulda known, because the blogosphere is full of organized moms and dads who actually know when the first day of school is. Y’all have probably even already bought school supplies.

I’ll be picking through your rejects at Office Depot later. 


I have a date! Sorta.

August 8th, 2006 at 4:44 pm » Comments (26)

Today Ethan-6yr solemnly told me I looked "very, VERY nice" today. (I don’t) Then he asked if just the two of us could go do fun things tonight. How could I say no?

On the list of "fun" things he has already mentioned:

playing ‘Lights Out Golf" at the mall (only thing scarier than Ethan-6yr swinging a golf club at the mall is him doing it in the dark)

playing the game at the movie theatre where you lower a helmet onto your head and pull a trigger (lice, anyone? fun!)

eating ice cream at a certain place

and a couple more I can’t remember, but wish I could, because DUDE. THey were so not my idea of fun. But who cares? He said I looked "very, VERY nice" (in my white t shirt and jeans), and that’s a lovely start.

I’ll even risk the lice if he really wants me to.


“Oh.”

August 7th, 2006 at 10:24 pm » Comments (9)

All of my relatives are gone… a little sad. Caden-2yr went to the room HolySister had been staying in, and looked in. He surveyed the emptiness, and said, "Oh."

I think that sums it up.

Edited to Add:

Typepad is emailing me your comments, but they’re not showing up. I’m not sitting here in a horrific, depressed state over my far away sister, taking out my feelings with the "delete comment" function. Promise.


A Spittin’ Good Time

August 3rd, 2006 at 2:09 pm » Comments (25)

So, life is not one big laugh with HolySister, it just seems like it. Or maybe it is. Yeah, I think it is actually.

We head into my bedroom, where I blog via laptop on the bed. HolySister asked if I’d posted lately and I said, "Nah. Kinda a light blog week."

She answered, "That’s ok. It’s a heavy HolySister week."

Pause. We look at one another, and then she says, "Ok. Let’s not EVER use that phrase again."

We nod, agreeing it sounded awful. I pop a handful of delicious DARK chocolate m&ms in my mouth, and savor each glorious one. Mmmm.

Then HolySister says, "That kinda made me sound like a Mack Truck or something."

For who knows what reason (but her timing was comedically  perfect), I laughed and spewed chewed up dark chocolate m&ms down my black shirt and all over my arms. I’m snorting, spitting, and HolySister is trying to catch her breath from her own laughing in order to tell me that I have drooled blue m&m  spit (with dark chocolate chunks) straight down my chin. It was disgusting and hilarious, and I am a moron. Oh, the laughing. It hurts my abs and stains my chin.

And I haven’t even told you about the toast. Oh! The toast! Ha!!


A Snortin’ Good Time

August 1st, 2006 at 2:12 pm » Comments (16)

Well, when BooMama invites some people over, she draws quite the crowd! I’ve been out of town and busy and haven’t visited your living rooms yet, but i will. (And looking forward to it. )

We went to Dallas for the weekend and spent time with my dad and his wife, and HolySister and HolyCousin. So fun. HolySister came back with us and is here until Sunday. (Woo HOO!) We have already laughed so hard we did the snorty snort thing until our stomachs hurt. Repeatedly. We’ve shopped. We’ve laughed and cried and shopped some more. (Oh! the shoes! The glorious shoes – I’ll have to photograph them in all their splendor later.)

It doesn’t take much with us. Yesterday we went through the drive thru at Burger King to get Hershey’s Sundae pies. HolySister was famished and she gets very grumpy when hungry, so speed was of the essence. But I didn’t take the most direct route and three whole cars made it into the drive thru line ahead of us, while we sat in the turn lane watching. I was greatly amused by this, and HolySister was NOT.

So I pulled up to the menu and say, "Hi, I"d like a bottled water, a large diet coke, and two Hershey Sund-ee pies, please."  I glanced at HolySister and we exchanged a glance that said, "Ew! I/You said Sundee!" then I turned and got my total from the talking menu and rolled up my window and we dissolved into giggles. Big, stupid giggles and snorty snort laughs that made it worse and led to more, larger snorty snorts and we. totally. lost. it. I’m Southern, I suppose, but not THAT southern, and no I do not intentionally say "Sundee." And it was the funniest thing ever for no reason whatsoever. Just trust me on this. If you’d been there, you might have spit and snorted while laughing, too.

We try to get it together before it’s our turn at the window, and we think we succeed. Until the lady leans out to take my money, and asks with concern, "Are you all right, hon?"

I just say, "Oh great, and you?" We get out of there and I turn to HolySister and say, "Do you think that was ‘Are you all right?’ like ‘How are you today?’ or was it because maybe I’m…"

and HolySister says, "CRYING?! I think it’s because we’re crying!" And we were. Over one mispronounced syllable and some hunger induced hysteria and oh my gosh. It still cracks me up.

Almost as much as what I did to the toast on the floor this morning, but I’ll save that one. That was so recent that I can’t possibly write about it and not wake up Seth-9mth. Oh, snort.