I’m hardly ever on the ball enough to get it done on the right day (Wednesday), but hey. Better late than never.
Warning: y’all might think this post is tacky or gross. others of y’all might think it’s brilliant. whatever.
Flies. We have flies. Seems worse now that we have a dog, but there it is. Until the first freeze, I suppose there will be swarms of flies to battle, and sometimes that battle comes inside. I HATE flies in the house.
Mike’s method: flyswatter.
ew. germs, fly guts, and a nasty flyswatter swinging through the air and spreading microscopic fly particles.
So, if he’s around, that’s how it gets done. But when I’m the one in the Fly Battle, I turn to Windex Multitask spray in the pretty light green color. Windex for flies…? Um, yeah. It is "Multitask" after all.
I chase a fly to a window, and spray a few times. Leave. Come back. Wipe up, and discard. You have a dead, disinfected and intact fly and a clean window. Multitask, indeed!
If someone should come into the home during the ‘leave’ step, as Mike has done, they might question your brilliance. They might see that you have sqirts of stuff on your windows, dead flies in puddles, and not get that your plan is perfection in action- it just isn’t yet completed. It’s okay, just explain it and smile.
And yes. This IS my version of ‘domestic.’ I know. It’s a bit unconventional. And as long as we’re being domestic here, I’m happy to tell you that I really hated the Swiffer Carpet Flick. It’s orange and spiffy and supposed to effortlessly pick up crumbs under my dining room table. Except the Swiffer Carpet Flick seems to think that my crumbs are too big. It’s good for crumbs smaller than a cheerio, but if you have WHOLE cheerios, or goldfish, or like, nineteen hundred-y thousand – well, then you need to crunch them into a fine dust with your shoes before you Swiffer Carpet Flick them. And I’m trying to teach the kids not to do that, so I had to find this out quickly while they were out of the room one day, and it’s just not worth it. If you have to grind the food into your floor before the device will work, well, that just doesn’t work for me on a friday. or any day.
but guess what? i found out why my kids stomp the cheerios and goldfish in the first place! It is SOO fun. (in a ‘just that once’ kinda way.)
y’all are funny. a few of you knew just what I meant about the clean house, and even dared to say it. one lone guy, joel, stood up for the male perspective. (always fascinating and informative when you guys do that, by the way.) and a whole lotta you followed the ‘if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all’ rule, and that is so cute. i KNOW y’all don’t agree with me for being annoyed about the clean house — i mean, I don’t even agree with me. it’s irrational. i know. it’s perfectly fine to say so or not say so, too. another thing…. i think Lauren talked about how she’s more likely to click away than disagree with a blogger in his/her comments. you do what you’re comfortable with here, and know you have my blessing to disagree here.
soooo. mike’s out of town. no. i don’t have any weird plans. like cleaning. okay, fine. i DO, but that’s only because hello?! the house HAS to be every bit as clean when HE gets back as it was when I got back and THAT WAS SCARY-CLEAN, y’all.
It’s okay. Just click away from the freakishness going on here if that’s your style. It might last awhile, though, just so ya know.
We arrived home yesterday and the house was sparkling clean. (No the maid hadn’t come.) Good, huh? No. I had already decided that the house should be clean and if it wasn’t, then I was going to be annoyed. (I KNOW. Totally annoying and weird of me, and moreso than usual. I’m really not usually quite that bad. Promise.)
But then. THEN. I get home and the house is easily ten times CLEAN-ER than it was when i left. And the whole closet was reorganized. And then I really got annoyed. What? It’s soooo easy to take care of kids AND keep the house super clean that we’re just going to rub it in?! Isn’t that freakishly weird of me? And then I get to realize this ugly truth about myself – that i was going to be annoyed whether the house was dirty OR clean – and that just bites even more.
Clearly, I need help. I must be overdue for a phone session with HolyAuntie.
(End of "Newest Reason i am a Freak" Tangent.)
So, I’m back, and HolySister was wonderful. I got to talk to her, giggle, snort, and eat cupcakes with her. I got to meet all of her wonderful friends i’ve heard about for years and never met. Seriously nice people. (One even brought me diet coke.) Another helped me try to persuade HolySister that yes! Eyeshadow is good! And things were looking good, but then she backed out. The mood had passed. Whaaa? The Eyeshadow Mood can ‘pass’ while in Sephora…of… all… places!? Umm. Yes. We call that the Complexity of HolySister. When we’re being nice. ‘Infuriating’ all other times. (Infuriating as a clean house, YES, I know.)
Leaves, fall foliage… I forgot to look. Sorry y’all. I did see a few yellow leaves on the street one day, and a red leaf on a shrub when HolySister pointed it out, but really I was too busy with the more urban stuff. Big cities have stores i adore. Surprisingly, they DO NOT have shoes i adore in those stores. Really! All the shoes with very, very few exceptions were: brown, black, boring. Um. Huh? Where is the colorful and the funky? Not there, oh otherwise great city in New England. I was quite surprised.
What the great city in New England lacked in footwear, though, it made up for in lipgloss. At Sephora I replaced my Smashbox Sassy that was running low and took a chance on Radiant. Love it. It can be a bit pale on its own, but that can be nice too.
The fancy shmancy cupcakes are truly beyond description. There’s something ethereal and indescribable about the icing, and nothing I would say could possibly convey the yumminess. So, just imagine. Go ahead.
HolySister MADE me the most delightful birthday present based on an inside joke all of you are in on. So I’ll wait, and take a photo, and then you’ll see how truly thoughtful she is. it was so sweet. And she made our family’s traditional birthday pie for me also! How nice! (Seth loved it, too.)
Seth charmed the nation, from one end to the other and back again. The ideal travelling companion had no problems on the flights, and I couldn’t have hoped for a smoother trip.
Gibee, your comment was this:
P.S. — Please, PLEASE post some traveling tips for flying with an 11 mo old… I’ll be flying to DFW with Hunter and my sister in law, but any tips are greatly appreciated … like … do they take good care of your stroller, or do they fling it around like a wadded piece of paper? Do they let you have a better seat so you don’t annoy anyone?
Hmmm … maybe not that, but you know … it would be nice to be bumped up to first class with a baby!
why yes, they DO throw your stroller around like a wadded piece of paper on the very first flight, causing damage. Take a cheap umbrella style stroller so you don’t care as much. Do NOT choose seats in the very back row. Hunter needs to be able to make faces at the people over the seat behind you, and to sit in the last row prevents him from doing so. You do not want to in any way limit his entertainment, and that’s a good one. Also, give up on the idea of a free upgrade, or any special treatment at all. None. Nada. No freebies, no ‘board first for your convenience’ – nothing. And he doesn’t even get a sippy cup with juice, unless you smuggle it on. (Smuggle it on.) If Hunter is like Seth, he will maul the person in the seat beside you whether they like it or not. Pray immediately for understanding seat neighbors. It’s important.
Off to other regions of the Infuriatingly Sparkling Clean House.
(Perhaps some of y’all could pray my mental faculties return in the near future. I suspect i’m being difficult to live with.)
Seth-11mth and I are gone! Gone, gone, gone! Off to somewhere in New England to see HolySister who has already prepared for our arrival with vacuuming and buying a few baby items. (how unnecessary and sweet!) Hopefully the ‘First Flight With An Infant What Am I THINKING’ went fine, as that is a huge concern of mine.
We’ll hang out and eat fancy shmancy chocolate cupcakes from some bakery or other, and go! HERE! OH MY GOSH, YES WE REALLY WILL. It’s the sort of store West Texas gals only see online and rarely in person, and I! Get! To! Go! (When I went to the website to add the link just now, I got excited chills, and then got distracted by lip gloss for ten whole minutes. Yes, ten. Here I come!! WOO HOO)
But the best part will not be chocolate or Sephora, it will be Sister Time. It’s a luxury. Sister Time With a Baby is actually even a bit sweeter. (but to clarify: Sister Time With all The Kids is not Sister Time at all)
PS Y’all! Let’s get to 35 before i get back on Sunday. Please?! Way to go to the ones who have already got it done! YEA!!!
Keep it up on the SBEs! Log those in on the comment section there, de-lurking if necessary, please!
How to Be a Moron, Part # I’ve Lost Track…
Go into Starbucks and order "A really, really big Diet Coke."
Then try real hard to play it cool when all the Starbucks employees stop and turn to look at you as if you’ve just asked for a petite size 0 in a plus size store. Apparently, they think it’s THAT tacky. And in case, like me, you didn’t know…. Starbucks does NOT peddle Diet Coke as it is beneath their caffeinated standards and to ask for it is to insult them all. So, you know. Don’t.
Unless you’d like to be a moron.
edited to add: y’all, i did NOT ask anyone for a petite size 0 in any store. just an example.
edited again to add: i have no aspirations to diet myself down to a size 0 anyway. Really! i don’t, HolyAuntie.
To the rest of you, my HolyAuntie is amazing and is my talented On The Phone Life Coach who is currently working me towards minimizing the importance of physical appearance as it pertains to self worth. so SEE. i am NOT trying to be a size 0 in order to feel superior and worthy. Not my goal.
(But a size 4 would be lovely.)
It’s that time again, y’all! So soon…? Why, yes. It’s the 17th, and that means Breast Self Exam Day!
Our monthly goal is 35, so check in at the comments and get credit for being the responsible, health conscious woman you are. (remind a woman you love, men.)
Obligatory Boob Humor:
Yesterday morning Caden-2yr was standing next to the tub while i bathed (because I didn’t get out of bed early enough to avoid this arrangement), and he leaned over and said solemnly, "THAT is where the baby eats." I tried to send him on an errand in another room at that point, but he just averted his gaze a tad and said, "THAT is where the baby eats, too!"
Yep. We started the day off with an anatomy lesson – now go do your own!
I am soooo happy to be here. For the last few days I have unexpectedly been without internet access or a cell phone. This wasn’t some social experiment gone too far, it was a bad mix of some mundane circumstances. Lightning hit the house, knocking out internet. We’re getting it fixed tomorrow, and in the meantime I"m using Mike’s laptop with a weird cell phone like card thing. I don’t understand it, but I don’t NEED to understand it either. Who cares? It works! And my cell phone died and the charger was in the car being ‘worked on.’ This is about as close to ‘roughing it’ as I get.
It had a lovely effect on my laundry and closet though, as both are a lot more caught up than they would be otherwise. (Less than lovely effect on my mood. )
I have email to check! Sparkpoints to accrue! WOO HOO!
Five years ago, Harold Lizcano was a newlywed. He had married a woman named Emily, and friends and family said that they were the sort of couple that if you’d seen, you just knew they belonged together. They were thinking about children, and planning their future.
Harold worked at the World Trade Center, Tower 1, 92nd floor. He was 31, and an accountant for Carr Futures. By numerous accounts of family, friends, and those who met him only once or twice right before his death – Harold was a good, good man. Friendly, ambitious, a loving husband, and a very good man who has not been forgotten by those who had the honor of knowing him.
For more tributes, please visit here.