Tuesday, September 5th 2006
How to Be a Moron, Birthday Edition

The second installment of How to Be a Moron will now become the third installment, in order to make room for this Birthday Edition. Unless of course other editions spring up before I have time to post it, which could bump it back until we have 96 How to Be a Moron’s before next Tuesday, before i ever even get to that other one. Which is HIGHLY likely, now that I think about how this week is going.

I’ve said in previous posts somewhere that Mike is hit or miss when it comes to birthdays and special occasions. As in, BIG HIT, or OH, I FORGOT. Again. And wouldn’t it be great if i adapted to this and just didn’t care? But I do.

Last year I turned 30. He forgot.  I got very bent out of shape about it (just a card and a hug, really. that’s all I needed), and told him he was off the hook if he’d make it up to me. Just do something and call it ‘my birthday thing’ even if it’s 6 months late, and we’re cool. But despite a few of those conversations… he didn’t. I SO wish i didn’t care. But I do.

I mentioned our 10th anniversary sucked. and I’m ok with that. But today it was my 31st. And he forgot. And then tried to pretend he didn’t (which…? makes! it! WORSE!) So, I spent today with the exterminator, the carpet cleaners, and listening to Mike’s venting as he was particularly call-ish today, and called a dozen times throughout the day to gripe. About other people. Not me. That came later.  Also, he thought it would be good if we all went grocery shopping together. I don’t know WHY he thought that, but he did. So I meet him at the store and, seeing that he’s there, take the 3 boys in. THE THREE BOYS. IN. TO. THE. STORE.

And Mike doesn’t come in. So we start without him, w hich involves Ethan-6yr repeatedly smashing into me with Caden-2yr’s stroller. I had brought it in since there were supposed to be TWO adults. Seth-10mth is in the cart, and I have been stroller-rammed 4 times before Mike gets into the store. He’d been in the car on the phone. Un. Clench. Jaw. now.

We get through it, but it isn’t pretty. Ethan-6yr decides today is a great day to pop a chocolate covered almond into his mouth from the plastic bin thing. He thinks I don’t see him, but I do. So then we have a  THAT"S STEALING lesson, complete with crying apology from him to store manager. Gah.

I leave with no kids, but the groceries, so I’m obligated to go home. SInce some will melt or go bad if i don’t, but that’s the only reason I do. Mike has the three boys and I surprisingly make it home before he does. I see my chance. I unload the groceries and leave.

Mike pulls me over. What? You think your husband can’t PULL you OVER? Oh, but he can. A spat is had, roadside, for good white trash measure. (I looked bad enough to be on COPS, too.) He says I have to come home because there will be birthday deliveries. Uh huh. Translation: No, you may not go off for a few hours of what might actually be nice You Time, you must come home where there will be stress and chaos and wait for my Guilt Delivery to arrive and then thank me. Um, NO. Good for you for ‘remembering’ at 5 o clock, but I’ve already had it! Whine. Snivvle. Gah. Y’all, my kid STOLE today, too. What is up with THAT?

What took him so long to get home, allowing me the pleasure of putting all the groceries away by myself…? Arranging THAT. The deliveries. At 5. With 3 boys.

And here is where you can be like me and Be a Moron. Because isn’t it true that you shouldn’t really care about your own birthday past the age of like, 22? if you still care this much, aren’t you a whiney moron? It seems like it to me, anyway, and I probably have more experience with this phenomenon than most of you – I hope.

And another thing? Shouldn’t I just drop hints and put it on his calendar if I really cared…?

I won’t. I refuse.

See how moronic of me??

The man juggles an amazing number of appointments for business and they all get taken care of. Why, then, do the personal ones always seem to fall through the cracks?  Clearly, he CAN manage the stuff that’s important.

I wish I didn’t care. I do, though.

I pulled into the driveway at the same time as the "Bring me ALL your flowers because I’m in DEEP trouble" delivery arrived.

That’s a new FTD special, called "The Kelsey" if you’re interested. It’s very expensive,  and will likely never, ever be appreciated because it was never supposed to be about ‘stuff’ in the first place.

I’m taking the dog for a loooong walk now.

~hm

42 Comments on “How to Be a Moron, Birthday Edition”

1
Sara
September 5th, 2006
10:06 pm

I’m really sorry that your birthday turned out this way… right after the anniversary too. I hope Mike will feel guilty enough to remember next year! And I know quite a few men who are forgetful like that, but also know they love their wives to pieces! So look on the bright side, we can all tell Mike does love you a lot. But I don’t blame you for being upset either. I hope things brighten up for you!

2
JennyK
September 5th, 2006
10:46 pm

HolyMama,
I’m totally with you on this one. I turn 30 in 3 weeks. My parents are coming into town from out of state to be here and while there has been some mention of a party, nothing has been planned and no one is being invited – why? Because I haven’t done it and nobody else (hubby) thinks about these things. I refuse to plan my own party. Last year I had to order my own Birthday cake and it was weird.
“What do you want it to say? ”
“Happy Birthday Jenny”
“What’s the name the order is under?”
“Jenny.”
Hubby forgot Mother’s Day this year (kids are 4 and 1) and I silently seethed and then threw a fit. Very mature. I got 3 roses at 6 pm and I’m positive they were from the gas station.

Sorry for the long comment – I guess you struck a nerve! :)
I can’t remember how I found your blog, but I sure am glad that I did!! Happy Birthday!

3
susan
September 5th, 2006
11:12 pm

I feel your pain, yet again! I try not to be one of those women that complain, care and want to be remembered for my birthday but I am human after all. I have figured out the art of making everyone’s birthday count so Jeff would feel horrible if he forgot. Not to mention my mother makes sure that no one forgets her little baby girls birthday by calling Jeff weeks and I mean weeks before to say in a not so subtle way “Don’t forget my baby!” He has since told her to quit calling b/c if he forgets he will have to answer to me and he does not want that. But did I tell you he forgot my birthday last year?! AFTER this conversation with my mom he forgot! Soooo hang in there-take a moment to go for a shopping spree and don’t feel guilty Tell him, “Next time-you won’t forget!” Oh and leave the kids with him as you go out to treat yourself. My mother law says, “The best gifts are the ones you give yourself!”

4
shash
September 5th, 2006
11:29 pm

Can I sing to you? “Happy Birthday to you…” does that help?!! I think I would have left the kids in the grocery store and ran away!!

If it makes you feel better… I gave birth to a 9lb 14 1/2 oz baby boy el natural (that’s sans any medication) on my 30th birthday… I know it’s a great gift but I would have liked at least a box of chocolates or something else that didn’t have to come out of me! This past Anniversary/Mother’s Day (they’re a combo) I didn’t get anything for either dates (it was our 10th year anniversary) so when Father’s Day came around… I told him I got him the same thing he got me! Notta!! Men aren’t the greatest at details. If you have boys… teach them well!!!! Please for the sake of the future generation – save them the pain!

I’d recommend start planning Spa Days for yourself and maybe a girlfriend or two. If he won’t treat you… make sure you do it yourself!!

5
Tess
September 5th, 2006
11:55 pm

umm, would you mind terribly posting pictures of “The Kelsey,” so we can let that be a warning to all other husbands out there?

6
bluepaintred
September 6th, 2006
12:44 am

hugs

but why are you defending him by saying he is so busy he juggles this and that. do you remember his birhtday? the kids? try adn tell me you dont juggle as much or more then him, please. its not a big nuff deal to seperate or diovorce for sure, but your anger shouldnt be pushed aside, you DO deserve to have a psecial day remembered. its not if he is or isnt busy, because thats his work not his family, and family comes first hun

hugs X2

7
Blond Girl
September 6th, 2006
1:09 am

I guess I can’t say much, since my husband is really good at this normally. I’m sorry you had a bad birthday. Mine always remembers. The only problem is that he tends to think about what he would want, not me. Case in point: Last year was my 40th birthday – a big one – and my LAST b-day in minnesota. I left huge gaping hints that I wanted him to throw me a party. I wanted my friends to come and celebrate me before I went away. He didn’t. He took Sweet Girl and I to the Mall of America and then me out for dinner and a comedy show. It was a wonderful day and I loved it… but darn, I wanted that party!

OK, I’m done whining now. You can slap me!

8
oshee
September 6th, 2006
1:19 am

My husband never forgets important days…but he horribly puts off gift buying or doing anything about it. Is that better? Probably, I get the kiss and happy birthday before he leaves for work anyway.

9
jeana
September 6th, 2006
6:23 am

Aw, man, I’m sorry.

I don’t go for hinting either. I come right out and tell him several times, usually make plans fro what I would like to do, and buy my own gift and show it to Scott and say, “Here’s what you got me for my birthday.” He hasn’t forgotten, but I love shopping and he hates it and this way it takes the stress off him, I get a nice birthday and everyone’s happy.

um, you were asking for input ritht? Otherwise this is How to be a Moron Comment Edition…

10
Shabbymum
September 6th, 2006
8:52 am

Oh dont even get me started..bless their hearts..God love em! My husband spontanously brought home flowers one day after work..he was probably thinking “i’m the man look at me” but all it did was P*ss me off because it reminded me how he did not bring me flowers when our FIRST CHILD WAS BORN…my mom brought flowers but not my husband..i was so mad..i expected jewelry but at least flowers..he had no clue apparently. oh well..there are bigger tragedies;)

11
Stacey
September 6th, 2006
9:05 am

Happy Birthday Kelsey! I’m sorry the day wasn’t filled with surprises and excitement, the best kind any way. I’m praying that somehow today will be better for you!!

12
aggiejenn
September 6th, 2006
9:21 am

My mom always made a big deal out of our birthdays, even in college (she would drive the hour and a half EVERY birthday just to be with us). Hubby’s family, not so much. They aren’t big on celebrations. Last birthday he didn’t even tell me Happy Birthday until really late in the day. That’s all I wanted…just an acknowledgement that 27 years ago that day I was born and the world was a better place (or something equally as cheesy/sweet). :-) He just wasn’t brought up to make a big deal out of those things, but he’s learning.

Sorry you’ve had crummy celebrations lately. Happy Birthday…you’ve made the world a better place! ;-)

13
Shalee
September 6th, 2006
9:50 am

I think this needs to be renamed to How MIKE can be a Moron. (No offense, Mike, but you totally blew it. If you really love your wife, then you WILL make a point of remembering what is important to HER, especially as she has been kind enough to let you know that it IS important and not leave you guessing in the dark. It is part of honoring her for being the most important part of your life. Ahem!)

Kelsey, for your own good, I think you need to sit down, look Mike in his eyes and show him the gift you expected HIM to buy for you. (It doesn’t even need to be expensive.) Then insist that he go to his calendar and put it in there so next year there will be no excuses.

Happy birthday friend. I’m glad God made you exactly as He did and am thrilled to know you!

Blessings to you!

14
Nicole
September 6th, 2006
10:01 am

I am with you on this one, he should have remember and therefore you are untitled full pouting privledges for at least another day or two.

15
suzanne
September 6th, 2006
10:33 am

Ny husband, who I love more than air post days, forgets Mother’s Day EVERY YEAR…..and it pisses me off, EVERY YEAR.

You would think that either he would remember or I would get over it.

Won’t happen. Ever.

Someone told me of a place…

http://www.birthdayreminders.com/

I regsitered myself, all kids’ birthdays and his moms’ day….so now he has no excuses.

Last year, I stopped buying his Mother’s Mother’s Day gift for him, so he just signed and I shipped it. She was livid that she was forgotten. When she called to dish the dirt, I said, “Hey you may have given birth to him. And I gave birth to his kids. He forgot us BOTH.”

Hope springs eternal. I have HIGH HOPES for 2007!!

PS Don’t forget: Grandparent’s Day in September 10th!!

Suz
http://suzannebalvanz.blogspot.com/

16
Diane
September 6th, 2006
11:22 am

Unless your husband reads your blog–which I seem to remember he does………you need to spell it out for him! It’s a gender thing; apparently they cannot read our minds. So–hint away–be specific! Let him know, in no uncertain terms, that your birth-day is a day to celebrate! My husband has been known to say moronic things like, “But, honey! Everyday is a day to celebrate with you!” To which, I reply…..”If you’d like to make it to your next celebratory day—–make my birthday special!” That’s S.P.E.C.I.A.L!!!!

Although–a self-appointed day at the spa isn’t a bad way to respond to his forgetfulness. I know how you feel about pedicures…but there is so much more to a spa than that nightmare! Maybe a shopping spree? Whatever it looks like to you–give it to yourself! You deserve it! ALL birthdays, whether 31 or 22 are worthy of celebrating! For crying out loud!

Diane

17
colicmommy
September 6th, 2006
11:40 am

Coming from a very similar situation…

We just have to accept them for the (faulted) humans they are. I know I do stuff that pisses dh off.

Either write it on his calendar, or announce that it’s coming up every day for the entire 2 weeks before. Mention that you would like a gift, and mention where he can get it and what it’s called and looks like.

Really, it’s not worth getting mad over every time. I used to, and bleh. So over getting mad. Just gotta roll with it and lay it out for them sometimes. Then you get your day and your gift that you wanted, and really, it still makes you happy. :)

18
Brony
September 6th, 2006
12:10 pm

I’m so sorry that you didn’t have a good day. Happy belated Birthday.

I think it’s easier to let things go at home, because you know that no matter what you’ll be forgive. Whereas at work, you could be fired.

19
joel
September 6th, 2006
12:20 pm

Okay, time for a guy who’s been there to come to Mike’s defense! Mike, I think you…

Um…

Nevermind. Dude, you blew it, but you didn’t need me to tell you that. I’ve blown it too, several times. I’ve never been very good at the whole gift-planning-and-giving thing, but I’ve learned a few things along the way. Like Kelsey said, it really isn’t about the stuff. Not primarily, at least. We guys tend to be very very very good at compartmentalizing our lives, and when you combine that with the fact that a man’s work is generally a primary factor in how he defines and views himself, you get a guy who’s in his I’m-working-now box more of his waking hours than not.

ASIDE:
No, ladies, I’m serious about this box thing. Think of a guy’s mind like a grid. There’s a box labeled “work”, maybe a box labeled “chores”, maybe a box labeled “family time”, etc. When a guy’s in one box, he’s typically not in another. When I’m in my “work” box I’m not even remotely aware of where my wife and children are at that moment, or what time I need to leave in the afternoon, or what I want to do this weekend, or whether or not my anniversary is coming up, unless something brings that to my attention. And even then it may quickly get pushed away, because I’m at work. Even if it was just mentioned that morning! I’m at work. I’m working. I’m in my work box. This isn’t to say that a guy can’t learn to think more flexibly, but in general that’s not how he’s wired to begin with.

It’s noteworthy enough to mention that guys tend to gravitate toward boxes they enjoy or in which they do well, and away from boxes that are stressful. I work with computers, and I love what I do so much so that even when I’m with the family I adore I find myself gravitating toward playing with my laptop. But the “gift-giving” box? Yeah, that qualifies as stressful, and it takes a serious act of will for me to quit the procrastinating I’ve perfected, step into that box, and do what needs to be done.

Anyway, Mike, like I was saying, it isn’t about the stuff. It’s not about spending time or spending money (did I just hear a *gasp* or two?), it’s about displaying priority. Time and money are great and all, but if the priority isn’t there it’s like a cart without a horse. If you’ve got the horse with no cart, there’s room for improvement but at least you can get around. But no horse? *Shrug* what good’s a cart going to do?

This is why the random-flowers-for-no-reason is (or can be) a hit. “Hey, even thought I’m in my work box right now, I was thinking of you.”

Anyway, I rely pretty heavily on the datebook function on my PDA. Not for the day-to-day stuff (meetings and whatnot), but for the one-off stuff (in the context of a given week or month) that I’d forget otherwise. Mother’s Day (2nd Sunday in May), my wife’s birthday, and our anniversary are in there, with alerts set several days in advance to bring it to mind when I’m in another box. The key there is for me to “snooze” the alert for a few hours or even a day, so I keep being reminded of it enough to get it in my head, rather than dismissing the alert and forgetting about it completely in, oh, about ten minutes. Even with the PDA I’ve somehow managed to flub it a time or two, but overall it’s helped quite a bit.

Right. Brief comment. Moving on…

- Joel

20
Faith
September 6th, 2006
12:41 pm

Oh man! Men just totally s*ck sometimes!!! Mine has finally learned- it did take some 20 odd years though!!!! It was worth the wait though – I mean, I’ll say that anyway!

Happy birthday!!!

21
Megan
September 6th, 2006
1:55 pm

Birthday #33 rocked, flowers, perfume, more flowers, surprise trip to hairdresser, dinner, etc.

Birthday #34 was spent swinging kids on a swing at a boring picnic watching DH chat it up with his buddies. No card, no cake, no presents. After that awful afternoon, I spent the evening shopping at Kohls for ME. I just up and left the kids with him….smiling out the door.

Hope your next week makes up for it…

22
Carol
September 6th, 2006
2:53 pm

Joel’s right.

You could do like me and just quit having birthdays altogether. Since I’ve done that, he hasn’t missed a single one. I guess I got to the age where I didn’t WANT the reminders anymore, but he insists on providing them anyway. Go figure. (I’m secretly pleased.)

Happy belated, Kelsey!

23
nate
September 6th, 2006
3:35 pm

PDA FTW!

Seriously, if he doesn’t have one, buy him a used one and put all of the important dates in it before giving it to him.

If he does have one, steal it for a bit and put all the important dates in it.

24
Heather
September 6th, 2006
3:44 pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KELSEY!!!!

We all love you and wish you a great 31st year. You deserve a few days off to go to the American Christian Fiction Writers conference in Dallas and meet a bunch of writers like you! Ask Mike — it would make a great birthday present. :)

(Way better than flowers.)

25
flipflopmamma
September 6th, 2006
5:03 pm

ya see, no one can ever forget my birthday, because I do what you don’t want. I start announcing the big day about a month beforehand. I don’t even care if he tries any surprises, as long as I get the present I want. I’m very spoiled…you can read it on my blog..Sept 1st post. I’d probably get forgotten about by my hubby too if I didn’t do this. My parents would never forget about me, even though I just turned 28, they still spoil me. It’s sick, really.

Sorry about your birthday…

26
Patrick B
September 6th, 2006
5:06 pm

I am 39. I still insist that the world at large aknowledge my birthday (which is July 14). I expect balloons, cards, cake and presents. I remind people regularly before, during and after. Working in the church office I even slip it onto the church calendar.

All of this is to prove that no matter how bad you think you are about your birthday, I am much worse. Also I have no plans to change.

Love
Patrick B

27
Geekwif
September 6th, 2006
5:22 pm

Happy 31st, you young’un! Sorry it wasn’t a great one. You so deserve a great birthday.

There is nothing wrong with wanting your hubby to remember your birthday. Like you said, a card and a hug is all that’s necessary. Just so you know he remembers and acknowledges that fact that he’s glad you’re there. And guilt flowers after the fact? Ugg. I guess that’s when you just have to smile and say “thanks” and “I love you” for the sake of the marriage.

Personally, I don’t care if anyone else remembers my birthday as long as my hubby does. Everyone else can completely forget I exist, but if he forgets my birthday? The entire day is ruined.

Hope the next one is better.

28
Grim Reality Girl
September 6th, 2006
10:26 pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! You my friend, are NOT a moron (at least not about the birthday thing — I haven’t heard story #2 yet!).

You have every right to want Mike to remember key dates. He is a man so he will forget. It is so painful when we are forced to watch them dig themselves deeper on this stuff. Husbands have a way of doing this. UGH.

The bright side — 31 one is still younng and he should feel enough guilt that you can get a serious “Honey Do” list completed by him this weekend….

Not much of a bright side…. sorry! Can I suggest a birthday trip with your best friend next year? BE GONE for your birthday doing something on your lifetime TO DO list. A close friend of mine did this… had the time of her life!

29
EmLouisa
September 6th, 2006
10:55 pm

This is why I hate birthdays and holidays. They always suck, even when my husband tries to make them NOT suck. I just build things up in my mind and expect grand things.

You should totally go away for your birthday next year. With friends, or HolySister.

30
mamak
September 6th, 2006
11:47 pm

Holy Mama .. I would tell you to read my birthday post, dated .. months ago, but the rant was too strong even for this rantinf mom.
I absolutely understand your feelings. I don’t ask for a lot .. just remember me. My husband did the same rebound thing with gifts and cards and such .. but all I could think was ‘I amke sure that you go to all of your Dr. appointments, get your hair cut when needed, call your mom/sister/brother/best friend on thier birthdays … why can’t you think ahead (just a day) for my day? We have missed many b’days and anniversaries. I try not to care. I shouldn’t – I am over 35 .. why does it matter?
I don’t know it just does.
I try to console myself with self bought gift (they are what I really want after all) but ultimately it just feels like I am not important. Not true, I know, but that is how I feel and I can’t help it.
Opppsss .. see I am ranting here.. sorry!
Hope the week gets better ..

31
Jan
September 7th, 2006
8:04 am

Now if you would just have told us your birthday was coming, we would have baked you a cake!
I’m with Jeana. Stop hinting. Stop wishing. Cut out pictures of what you want for your birthday. show him the pictures. Say, “Hey, Mike, this is what I want for my birthday. While I am out shopping for it, you get to keep the kids!”

32
ken
September 7th, 2006
9:19 am

Okay, sorry Kelsey, but I have to play the defense on this one.
First, you knew this was one of his handicaps. It is likely that this is just a neurological trat of his, and there is nothing he can do to change it. If your husband were to lose his arms, would you get angry at him because he wouldn’t hug you anymore? In the workplace, people use calenders, appointment books, or have secretaries to remember things. The smart thing would be to get him a PDA, and pre-load it with all important dates. There is nothing wrong with someone having to use some sort of crutch to overcome a handicap, and that is all forgetfuness is.
Second, and perhaps more importantly, is the fact that marriage should never be about “me”. There should be no “scorecard”. Marriage is about serving each other, unconditionally. It is about putting the needs of your spouse above your own.
When I turned 40, all I got was a couple cards, and the standard presents of clothes. No party, no balloons, not even a cake. I why’ll I had truly hoped for a suprise party, I knew my wife was not capable of setting something like that up. My wife is extremely intelligent, but that is simply not one of her gifts. And when she turned 40 a couple years later, I did not stew over the fact that my 40th was so uneventful. I snuck into my wifes work, and filled her office with 500 black balloons, and had a small “suprise” party for her. This does not make me any better than your husband; I just have different gifts. I am sure that there are many things your husband is fantastic at, but that others, such as myself, would suck at. Focus on the good. And if he needs help remembering things, give it to him.
I apologize if this is a little direct, and I hope the two of you are able to work this out. I will pray for the both of you.

33
Nicole
September 7th, 2006
11:32 am

I know how you feel. While it might be easier on your HUSBAND if you would spell it all out for him, it wouldn’t mean as much to you.

My husband is the same way. Last year I decided not to say a word about my birthday, and guess what…he forgot. HE didn’t remember until we were at church and everyone was giving me presents and wishing me happy birthday! I still tease him about it. My GOLDEN 25th birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. We’ll see how he does for this one.

34
Vail
September 7th, 2006
12:35 pm

Oh, to have a life as simple as the one Joel describes! Women and Mothers just do not have it that easy! We can compartmentalize ALL our jobs and not think about one while we’re doing the other, else nothing would get done. Perhaps as wives, we’ve just been TOO GOOD – keeping our husbands schedules, paying the bills, organizing the errands, etc. They feel no responsibility to do those things for themselves anymore! And he wonders why I have gray hair at 34!!??
Kelsey – go buy yourself a nice birthday gift and enjoy!

35
joel
September 7th, 2006
1:12 pm

Vail,

Not sure if it’s “simple” or just different. We have plenty of stressors too :) .

I can’t take credit for the box idea. Awhile back our Bible study went through a book called Men Are Like Waffles–Women Are Like Spaghetti. I really wasn’t a big fan of the chosen similes, but the ideas behind them were pretty good. Guys put things in boxes, women have everything connected to everything else. WAY over-simplification and -generalization, obviously, but the point is it was a useful way to think through differences in mental approach, particularly in the context of a marriage.

It was a pretty good book, just…don’t think through the food comparisons too much ;)

36
Kristi
September 7th, 2006
2:47 pm

Wow. I only wish I could convey to you how I could have written your exact post…countless times. It has been a blessing, yes, a blessing to me to read that others experience this too.

How I often think, wouldn’t something that mattered to him (even if I didn’t “get” it) so immensely be important to me? Don’t men get it that women want to feel special on their b-day? Somes days~~I could just slam my head in the wall (figuratively of course!)

37
Lauren
September 7th, 2006
11:51 pm

All I can think is, 31? 31? If next year I somehow turned 31 that would be present enough for me! :)

Happy Belated Birthday,Kelsey!

38
April
September 8th, 2006
6:42 am

Vail,
There’s a great book, Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti (I know it sounds goofy), that explains what Joel is talking about. Since reading it, I have begun to understand that my husband isn’t simple-minded, he’s just focused. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t remember birthdays, he’s really good about that that sort of thing (better than I am), but he is a lot like Joel described. I, on the other hand, am like spaghetti, in that my mind can’t seem to focus on any one thing for long. (It drives Rob crazy.)
The thing that always surprises me, though, is how easy it is for men to make things up to us, but how stubborn they are about NOT doing it. How difficult is it to buy flowers for absolutely no reason? Just pick up the phone, or even stop by the store on the way home & buy a cheap bouquet. For ABSOLUTELY NO reason. Wouldn’t that be something?

39
Carol
September 8th, 2006
10:22 pm

You and Ethan (6yr) can take a minute out of the bridal shower preparations for a tag!

40
Theresa
September 8th, 2006
10:40 pm

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KELSEY! Hope Mike learned something from this for next year!!

41
LU
October 7th, 2006
3:59 pm

AAhhh- I just received my own version of the “Kelsey” -a bouquet too big for my dining room table-never mind my desk at work where it was delivered to show everyone what a nice guy he is! Remembered too late and meant for it to take his place for a long-planned weekend away together so he could go off without me (not invited) to the bedside of his daughter who within the last few days gave birth to his 5th grandchild, now how could I complain about that? Well I’m hurt and I’m complaining! Would seeing that baby at 5 days old be any more meaningful than seeing him at 3 days old? Daughter’s husband, mother,stepdad, in-laws, sister, sister’s children and her brother aren’t enough company until we get back? Just btw, we live apart because of our jobs and only see one another two weekends a month as it is! So he blew me off on my birthday, once again choosing one of his adult children over me. It’s a battle I can’t win, so why fight? Or can I? Anyone else in the same boat? Happy Birthday to you too, Kelsey.
Lu
P.S. “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”Eleanor Roosevelt
“There are no victims, only volunteers.” “Never be a victim.” A little help here, please- Sitting on my packed suitcase,I’m feeling a little victimized & sorry for myself. Guess I should throw the bag in the car & go do something I love, ALONE. Or volunteer to help someone in need- Call me Pollyanna.

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[...] HERE is the post before that about the forgotten birthday of 2006. I wish I could find the pic of  the 8 [...]

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