Monday, September 25th 2006
I’m Back. (My Lips are Glossy.)

We arrived home yesterday and the house was sparkling clean. (No the maid hadn’t come.) Good, huh? No.  I had already decided that the house should be clean and if it wasn’t, then I was going to be annoyed. (I KNOW. Totally annoying and weird of me, and moreso than usual. I’m really not usually quite that bad. Promise.)

But then. THEN. I get home and the house is easily ten times CLEAN-ER than it was when i left. And the whole closet was reorganized. And then I really got annoyed. What? It’s soooo easy to take care of kids AND keep the house super clean that we’re just going to rub it in?! Isn’t that freakishly weird of me? And then I get to realize this ugly truth about myself – that i was going to be annoyed whether the house was dirty OR clean – and that just bites even more.

Clearly, I need help. I must be overdue for a phone session with HolyAuntie.

(End of "Newest Reason i am a Freak" Tangent.)

So, I’m back, and HolySister was wonderful. I got to talk to her, giggle, snort, and eat cupcakes with her. I got to meet all of her wonderful friends i’ve heard about for years and never met. Seriously nice people. (One even brought me diet coke.) Another helped me try to persuade HolySister that yes! Eyeshadow is good! And things were looking good, but then she backed out. The mood had passed. Whaaa? The Eyeshadow Mood can ‘pass’ while in Sephora…of… all… places!? Umm. Yes. We call that the Complexity of HolySister. When we’re being nice. ‘Infuriating’ all other times. (Infuriating as a clean house, YES, I know.)

Leaves, fall foliage… I forgot to look. Sorry y’all. I did see a few yellow leaves on the street one day, and a red leaf on a shrub when HolySister pointed it out, but really I was too busy with the more urban stuff. Big cities have stores i adore. Surprisingly, they DO NOT have shoes i adore in those stores. Really! All the shoes with very, very few exceptions were: brown, black, boring. Um. Huh? Where is the colorful and the funky? Not there, oh otherwise great city in New England.  I was quite surprised.

What the great city in New England lacked in footwear, though, it made up for in lipgloss. At Sephora I replaced my Smashbox Sassy that was running low and took a chance on Radiant. Love it. It can be a bit pale on its own, but that can be nice too.

The fancy shmancy cupcakes are truly beyond description. There’s something ethereal and indescribable about the icing, and nothing I would say could possibly convey the yumminess.  So, just imagine. Go ahead.

HolySister MADE me the most delightful birthday present based on an inside joke all of you are in on. So I’ll wait, and take a photo, and then you’ll see how truly thoughtful she is. it was so sweet. And she made our family’s traditional birthday pie for me also! How nice!  (Seth loved it, too.)

Seth charmed the nation, from one end to the other and back again. The ideal travelling companion had no problems on the flights, and I couldn’t have hoped for a smoother trip.

Gibee, your comment was this:

P.S. — Please, PLEASE post some traveling tips for flying with an 11 mo old… I’ll be flying to DFW with Hunter and my sister in law, but any tips are greatly appreciated … like … do they take good care of your stroller, or do they fling it around like a wadded piece of paper? Do they let you have a better seat so you don’t annoy anyone?

Hmmm … maybe not that, but you know … it would be nice to be bumped up to first class with a baby!


why yes, they DO throw your stroller around like a wadded piece of paper on the very first flight, causing damage. Take a cheap umbrella style stroller so you don’t care as much. Do NOT choose seats in the very back row. Hunter needs to be able to make faces at the people over the seat behind you, and to sit in the last row prevents him from doing so. You do not want to in any way limit his entertainment, and that’s a good one.  Also, give up on the idea of a free upgrade, or any special treatment at all. None. Nada. No freebies, no ‘board first for your convenience’ – nothing. And he doesn’t even get a sippy cup with juice, unless you smuggle it on. (Smuggle it on.) If Hunter is like Seth, he will maul the person in the seat beside you whether they like it or not. Pray immediately for understanding seat neighbors. It’s important.

Off to other regions of the Infuriatingly Sparkling Clean House.

(Perhaps some of y’all could pray my mental faculties return in the near future. I suspect i’m being difficult to live with.)


13 Comments on “I’m Back. (My Lips are Glossy.)”

September 25th, 2006
11:18 pm

I’m trying ever so hard– really, I am– to imagine some parallel universe where someone other than me masterminds house cleaning and I end up cranky about it. I. just. can’t.

But I love you anyway. Glad you had a good time away!

Hugs, Mary

PS–Want me to send chocolate?

September 26th, 2006
1:02 am

I can totally relate to the cranky about a clean house thing. It’s not the house…it’s just that sometimes we’re cranky. They just have to learn to deal with it. We’re woman. Nuff said.

September 26th, 2006
9:06 am

I’m with you on the cranky thing and I totally got it when you said you’d be cranky if it were dirty or clean! I just get in these moods sometimes!

Glad you had fun. Can’t wait to see the gift from Holysister : )

September 26th, 2006
10:12 am

Yup, some days I am cranky on matter what.

Did you know that QVC sells Smashbox cosmetics? Or at least I think it’s Smashbox. I don’t know. I do buy my Bare Escentuals off there.

julie carobini
September 26th, 2006
3:43 pm

Yeah, when the kids were very little and my husband would take some time out to zip around and fold towels all nice, and wash dishes, I sometimes turned on him like a hungry bear. Was all that energetic cleaning his way of saying that my job was easy? Or that I didn’t do it right? Was he trying to teach me by his example???

Well, that was then. Now when I see him towel-drying dishes after we’ve both had a long day, I just recline on the couch and reach for another truffle. LOL.

September 26th, 2006
5:28 pm

You know, my husband has this same annoying habit. As he is off on Thursdays caring for the kids alone, the house is always spotless when I arrive home. You would think this would please me?! But no, the smuggness that is underlying is unnerving. What? I am off for three days a week and the house never looks that clean on my duty…I know he is thinking I am a slacker and just trying to show me up. I just KNOW it!

September 26th, 2006
5:29 pm

You know, my husband has this same annoying habit. As he is off on Thursdays caring for the kids alone, the house is always spotless when I arrive home. You would think this would please me?! But no, the smuggness that is underlying is unnerving. What? I am off for three days a week and the house never looks that clean on my duty…I know he is thinking I am a slacker and just trying to show me up. I just KNOW it!

September 26th, 2006
7:26 pm

Oh yes, I totally identify. If I’m at home and don’t feel good, nothing I do is important enough for anyone else to do, but if I’m gone and anyone else does it, of course it’s always better. (could I have possibly written a sentence with messier punctuation? I don’t think so)

Oh Well. (I sometimes try to console myself that it’s because they aren’t tending to the RELATIONSHIPS. –?)

September 27th, 2006
9:56 am

Okay, gotta pop back in on this one. This is a complete confirmation of the fear on the guy’s side that he’s in a situation he absolutely cannot win. I’ve had this argument with myself before, wanting to help out and give her a nice surprise when she gets home, but not wanting her to feel like I’m saying she should be able to do it all the time. It’s a conflict between trying to provide for her physical needs and her emotional needs, and it’s no fun. So what if I just do a partially mediocre job to show that I gave the effort? Then I’d be annoyed at myself because I didn’t do the job as well as I could.

I think one key is to realize that if the tables were turned and your guy was the one home with the kids all the time, I can almost guarantee the house wouldn’t look any better than under your watch, and quite possibly worse. It’s a matter of having a one-time (each time) opportunity to do something he perceives as a service to you. He’s probably not doing it for himself (most guys care quite a bit less what the house looks like than the ladies do), he’s doing it for you. If you look at it that way, it might help alleviate the reading-between-lines-that-aren’t-there syndrome.

- Joel

September 27th, 2006
10:23 am

Okay, I just can’t get the “house-is-cleaner-than-when-I-left” rant. I would be so awed by it that my family would have wondered if I just came down from the Mount. Yeah, I’d get over that or else Mike not do it again for you.

Alas, I’m so glad you are back! And I’m so envious of your cupcake adventure.

September 27th, 2006
10:07 pm

I read this a couple days ago and told myself I better come back later to comment ’cause maybe then I’ll get it. Nope, still don’t.

Love ya though!

October 5th, 2006
3:02 pm

First of all, I’m bummed … because I have a great, beautiful awesome stroller which makes my life easy, and really want to bring it… because it’s a cadillac… but throw it around like a wad of paper! SAY IT ISN’T TRUE!

And WHAT?! No upgrade? That’s just wrong.

Now see … some people say they “turned on their husbands” like a mama bear if they showed them up cleaning the house … frankly … if I came home to a clean sparkly home, I would be “turned on.” Oops — did I say that out loud? Can I say that on a family-friendly blog?

Lisa S.
October 9th, 2006
8:18 am

Joel is right. My husband would do that occasionally – and then HE was the househusband. It was really, really bad. And he didn’t realize things that I used to do automatically, like wipe the toilet everyday when there is ONE toilet for 8 people, including 2 potty training boys. It was easy to clean in a one time shot. It was not easy to manage the everyday details of the house day in and day out, and *I* still homeschooled them myself at night when I got home from work!

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