Monday, September 18th 2006
Keep it Up, Y’all! (and Moron Installment)

Keep it up on the SBEs! Log those in on the comment section there, de-lurking if necessary, please!

How to Be a Moron, Part # I’ve Lost Track…

Go into Starbucks and order "A really, really big Diet Coke."

Then try real hard to play it cool when all the Starbucks employees stop and turn to look at you as if you’ve just asked for a petite size 0 in a plus size store. Apparently, they think it’s THAT tacky. And in case, like me, you didn’t know…. Starbucks does NOT peddle Diet Coke as it is beneath their caffeinated standards and to ask for it is to insult them all. So, you know. Don’t.

Unless you’d like to be a moron.

Like me.

edited to add: y’all, i did NOT ask anyone for a petite size 0 in any store. just an example.

edited again to add: i have no aspirations to diet myself down to a size 0 anyway. Really! i don’t, HolyAuntie.

To the rest of you, my HolyAuntie is amazing and is my talented On The Phone Life Coach who is currently working me towards minimizing the importance of physical appearance as it pertains to self worth. so SEE. i am  NOT trying to be a size 0 in order to feel superior and worthy. Not my goal.

(But a size 4 would be lovely.)

~hm

27 Comments on “Keep it Up, Y’all! (and Moron Installment)”

1
Stacey
September 18th, 2006
6:52 pm

That actually sounds like something my sister-n-law would do. She thinks everyone should have diet coke!

2
crickl's nest
September 18th, 2006
7:09 pm

OK, next time order a tall, skinny mocha frappucino. It will do you good.

*diet Coke* sheessssssh lol

I think I need a life coach too…..any volunteers? (I would not be an easy client)

Don’t worry, we all do things like that all the time….ummm, don’t ‘we’? (I know I do) I just choose to repress the memories of them. ;)

3
Blond Girl
September 18th, 2006
10:15 pm

This comment isn’t about your post – it’s about your comment at Geekwif’s… I played along with you guys and answered to your list, if you’re interested….

4
Blond Girl
September 18th, 2006
10:19 pm

OK. now THIS comment is about your post! You’re right; Diet Coke is somewhat anathema there. You could try ordering an italian soda made with sugar free syrup. They should have vanilla, raspberry and probably even hazelnut or amaretto. They make it with the flavor shot, ice, soda water and milk. Yummy! No coffee and no calories.

Oh, and size four is overrated. At least I hope it is, or my life is totally not worth setting goals for… tee hee! Seeing as my goal is a solid size 12 or(could it be?!?!) size 10, 4 would be a serious illness for me…

size 0 would be a one way ticket to Heaven, so I guess it’s all in your perspective!

5
yellowmama
September 18th, 2006
10:45 pm

Hey, nothing could be stupider than walking into planned parenthood after locking your keys in your car (I just picked up my airline tickets from the travel agent next door)obviously not thinking…and ask for a coat hanger. Talk about looks. I was a wee bit red faced!

6
flipflopmamma
September 18th, 2006
11:17 pm

That sounds like something I would do!! They don’t have coke?? I thought everyone had Coke or Pepsi products!!! Guess not!! Next time you should get a White Chocolate Mocha….mmmm so very dreamy.

7
HolyMama!
September 18th, 2006
11:59 pm

but flipflopmamma, white chocolate isn’t even chocolate! it should be called “Chocolate… Not!” DON”T FALL FOR IT!

8
TC
September 19th, 2006
7:14 am

I’m a long time lurker but I had to come out for this! The only time I’ve ever ordered anything from Starbucks was a Diet Coke and they did look at me like I’d grown a second head or something.

9
Geekwif
September 19th, 2006
8:47 am

As a non-coffee, non-chocolate consumer, there was a time when no coffee shop had anything for me. Then they started carrying things like chai tea latte, and steamer, and smoothie. Mmmmm. Yum. Now I actually like to stop now and then when hubby wants a mocha.

Oh, and by the way? White chocolate is definitely chocolate. Someone at Godiva tried to convince me otherwise once with a sample. I just about gagged. Uggh! It’s got cocoa…it’s definitely chocolate.

10
Diane
September 19th, 2006
9:00 am

What’s wrong with ordering a diet coke…anywhere? If the store carries diet cokes…why are they surprised when someone orders it! Geesh!

Have to get back to my diet coke and banana nut muffin–byeeee!

Diane

11
Shalee
September 19th, 2006
10:03 am

No coffee in Starbucks? You are crazy! But that’s just my point of view. I say forget the diet stuff and order a Mocha Breve. Drink and be happy!

No comment on the size, but I will refer you to this post. It may help you with the appearance issue…

And in case it didn’t accept the tag, here it is in full format:

http://shalees.blogspot.com/2005/11/let-us-eat-cake.html

12
Tina
September 19th, 2006
10:30 am

I see nothing wrong with asking for a diet coke!
I often go into Starbucks and say…I don’t really like coffee but I am trying to start liking it (because all my friends do and I feel left out when we go to a coffee place…), what can I have? Normally I get a blank stare (I ask almost EVERY time I go in there…I am a coffee person wannabe). I am sure they see me coming and get ready to laugh!

BTW…Stacey’s comment made me laugh…I am that sister-in law! :)

13
Jan
September 19th, 2006
1:32 pm

I’ve never been in a Starbuck’s. I just can not bring myself to pay their outrageous prices for some concoction that is only loosely based on coffee. If I want a milkshake, I go to Dairy Queen. If I want coffee, I make it myself (or go to Denny’s–they have really good coffee, with no added gunk). I had no idea that Starbuck’s, or any other beverage outlet, would not sell Diet Coke. That’s like having a cafe in the South, and refusing to serve ice tea!

14
Joanne
September 19th, 2006
7:05 pm

LOL, I don’t want to be a size 0 either. But a diet coke? Really, you should have asked for a diet pepsi.

15
momrn2
September 19th, 2006
8:56 pm

Hey, thanks for covering for me and giving the heads up… because this sounds like something I would SO do myself! Appreciate you taking the “look” for me!:-)

16
oshee
September 20th, 2006
12:27 am

Personally, I think everywhere should carry diet coke. I have based restraunt choices on the sheer fact of who had the coke product.

17
Surfingmama
September 20th, 2006
5:17 am

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18
Andrea
September 20th, 2006
9:21 am

I don’t drink coffee so Starbucks was totally boring for me…UNTIL I discovered the caramel apple cider. It’s awesome! Try it!

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