Okay, I SAID i’d post about the weekend and include pictures, so I will. But o`nly because i promised, and not because I feel like it because I don’t. Shall I depress you all? I’m depressed. It’s not just the whole end of the We Wanna Meet thing — i think my post partum cocktail of antidepressants isn’t working anywhere near as well as it used to. (duuude. being dramatic. repeat: it’s not a ‘cocktail,’ mom. it’s just lexapro. and diet coke. Lexapro and diet coke does not a ‘cocktail’ make.)
So here. A few obligatory impressions of the weekend. keep in mind my current, confessed, state of being:
We stayed in a hotel right next door to the Liq-O-Rama. HA. THe big sign cracked me up every time I saw it. Clarification – saw it FROM AFAR. Not so depressed I was hanigng out at the Liq-O-Rama.
The hotel was two exits away from a Whataburger whose drive through menu I once… drove through. it was in high school. 3 in the morning. Sober. Lots of damage to the car, none to the menu. My dad was nice about it. I cracked up every time I saw it.
Shalee is tiny. She’s hilarious with a dirty mind. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. As in, if there’s a funny joke to be made, and there could be a sexual slant to it … well, Shalee might beat Jeana to it more often than I expected. THe two of them – jeana and Shalee. OH MY GOSH. The two of them together are equal parts estrogen and comedy. If you should be so fortunate to be in a car with the two of them, beware. You might take an hour longer than expected to actually GET ANYWHERE, but who cares. It’ll be quite a ride.
Other quick impressions:
kellygirl knows sign language, and made me jealous. she’s very cool.
shannon and chilihead? gracious, hilarious and i wish i could shoe shop with them daily. or weekly. i felt so HONORED to see the real chilihead, no disguise or anything. It was like seeing the phantom of the opera without the mask. or the guy in the chuck e cheese costume without the big mouse head. wait – that didn’t sound right.
megan is one of those people who leaves the party and all the other women immediately start lamenting how over the top pretty she is, smart, athletic, thin, homeschools 5 kids even!, can cook desserts, lovely, and then Jeana will sum it all up (joking!) with "Yeah… I don’t like her!" Seriously. Megan is ALL THAT, and totally likeable and undeniably wonderful on top of it all. (Which is the only reason Jeana was able to pull that line off.)
Jeana has the resonant, rich voice of a radio personality. A Texan radio announcer, but a very NICE sounding Texan radio personality.
Her parents, Jan and Wick, are too funny. I sometimes imagine myself as their long lost West Texas daughter, and fork over Seth-1yr to them to feed and snuggle. He doesn’t mind, and they don’t seem to mind my delusions, either.
GiBee made me a lovely bracelet. Yes, MADE me a bracelet! It has a pink breast cancer awareness theme to it, and I adore it.
Faith is pretty in pink, and her Georgia drawl is charming, as is everything about her.
Lauren brought six pairs of shoes for 2 days. MY KIND OF WOMAN. Need I say more? (Except that yes, they were cute, and tiny, and so is she.)
Aggiejen’s hair is FLAWLESSLY obedient, laying flat and perfect despite metroplex humidity. No kidding.
Tina. Meeting her made me want to go read all her archives, that’s how much I liked her!
Carol… really wish she could have been there more, but she was otherwise engaged to minister at a ladies’ retreat. can hardly fault a girl for that. She’s tall. Who knew?
Minnie. I could aspire all my days to attain her level of Alternative Mommy Chic, and never come close. I’ve never seen anyone so unconventionally glamorous. She’s the mom all the other kids will WISH their moms looked like… or acted like… or laughed like or well, anything like.
You know what? I totally got socially weird and freaked a few times and could NOT bring myself to go make nice anymore. It was Social Anxiety Overload, and I hope the people I did not connect with didn’t take it personally. Ones i hope to spend more time with in the future – on blog and off – preferably with chocolate and diet coke: chrissy, rachel anne, sarah, kep and katherine. actually, all of the women, but these 5 in particular i’d love to have more time with when i’m not all "dude. excuse my lack of social skills and pass the lexapro please."
Michaele, and yes, that’s how you spell her name since her parents wanted a boy. she was wonderful, and we enjoyed her company immensely as well as the food at the Botanic Gardens on Saturday! (yeah, i know you’re wondering – she even gave me permission for this!)
left to right:
shannon in motion
all other photos will be emailed, rather than posted.
You’re welcome, Shalee. All your smoldering sexy poses will be fantastic blog fodder, of course, but i’ll leave it to you to post.
i COULD post about this weekend, but you know you want me to wait until i can do pictures, too, right? and that is definietely not right now because seth-1yr is snapping off keyboard keys again, so i better go.
Off to DFW for We Wanna Meet! YEA!
My eyebrows are shaggy and i have Billy Ray Cyrus hair. I’m sure I"ll make a great impression on everyone.
No fail hiccup remedy:
TIGHTLY press on your ears while drinking water. Remember to breathe. Use a straw.
Credit for this one – Mike. He’s brilliant like that.
(if it does fail, you’re not smushing your ears hard enough. try again and don’t be such a sissy about it this time. )
Today I had a freak accident, and there was blood. My blood.
I was sitting on the couch (this part gets freaky, especially if you know me at all well) preparing to WRITE CHRISTMAS CARDS. Uh huh. It’s the third week in October, y’all. You are correct. I am a freak. Every Monday i camp out on the couch, planning to listen to Mike as he hosts a call-in financial show on the radio. So I’m there, waiting for it to start, getting my cards organized. I have a ball point pen in one hand, and am reaching for my address book with the other hand. And then… BAM. A dove slams into the window LOUDLY and scares the crud out of me, and i JAM THE BALL POINT PEN STRAIGHT UP MY RIGHT NOSTRIL. Um. Whaa? Blood gushes, as I have apparently stabbed through that inner septum thing that is supposed to divide one nose hole from the other nose hole. Unless, of course, you stab a small tunnel straight through it. (no not all the way through, but it FELT like it.)
I think the dove was ok. I didn’t see loads of blood dripping from it or anything, unlike me. The irony here is that was a bird of peace, and symbolically represented on the Christmas cards i had purchased and was preparing to write. After that, I put them away and went with the green Christmas tree ones. Bird of peace. Pfft. Bird of gore. (And wreckless flight.)
bonus #1 A cause I love, and hello? ebay! two of my faves! Thanks, HolySIster for the link!
bonus #2 Yea to Joel for sending me this one!
There’s a few people in my life that just don’t like me. I’m usually fine with that. Every once in awhile I do an inventory and ask myself if i’m harboring any great ill will toward any of them. If I am, i pray until i’m not. No biggie. It’s my system and it works for me. But the other night I suppose i had let it go too long, and my subconscious really needed to point that out. And oh! my subconscious is funny.
I dreamed that one of these people (a woman) was dating a 21yr old drag queen, who wore his hair just like hers. She was crazy in love with him, and pregnant with his child. Not just a little pregnant. TWELVE months pregnant. Hee hee. I woke up and giggled into my pillow until i woke the baby.
Then the next day? Big annoying ‘what goes around comes around’ kinda thing. And hello? I only DREAMED she was a year pregnant with a weird boyfriend with HER hair. just a dream! But I channel flipped and came across MY hair. Not on a woman. Not even on a drag queen.
On Billy Ray Cyrus.
Uh. huh. I have Billy Ray Cyrus Hair, minus the blond highlights. Last I checked, (circa 1992) he had a mullet and we didn’t look anything alike.
(If you care to see my hair, visit CMT and watch the Wanna Be Your Joe video. Yo. That’s me.)
I walked into the pantry today and what a sight! THere were old diapers, 2 banana peels, and 3 wadded up paper towels adorning the shelves. Caden-2yr is the designated trash-goer, and is usually very helpful. I brought him to the pantry and asked why the trash was everywhere. He looked at me and smiled. "You SAID to THROW it away!"
uh huh. He’s got me there. And he is a little boy who loves any excuse to get athletic, after all. Hurling banana peels at the top of the pantry WITH mom’s permission…? Sweet!
And now I"m practicing saying "Put it in the trashcan, please!"
Occasionally the gravitational pull of the earth affects Caden-2yr differently than it affects all other objects and people on the planet. Yes, really.
Usually this happens when he doesn’t want to be in his seat eating dinner. It’s convenient that way.
Last night, it was at Taco Bueno. I was there with the 3 boys when gravity freaked out on him again. It’s fascinating to watch, really. Very slowly, he is pulled across the room – backwards – as if the far wall is sucking him slowly against his will. His arms come forward, his eyes are bewildered, and it’s as if an invisible string between his shoulder blades is slowly but firmly pulling him. He continues in this until he’s plastered against the wall that has magnetically pulled at him. then gravity returns to normal and he walks back to where we are, shaking his head like, "wow. that was weird."
He’s a weird kid. It’s one thing when this happens at home. It’s never happened in public before, and it caused a great stir for a toddler to suddenly become ‘involuntarily’ drawn (in slow motion) backwards to become a flattened splat against the wall next to the trash cans. Alarmed taco eaters looked back and forth from me to Caden-2yr, as I had to repeatedly say, ‘it’s ok. he’s fine.’
it’s an oddly convincing routine he has, and the patrons of taco bueno were totally freaked on his behalf. i just pasted on a smile and waited and nodded until the inevitable splat on the wall occurred – the moment when gravity becomes predictable again. everyone relaxed then and went back to their meals.
well. i hope so. i was too busy avoiding any eye contact to know if they relaxed, or if they were unnerved and hoping the Freak Family with the gravity defying toddler were going to leave soon. which we did.
he’s been reacting predictably with the earth’s gravitational pull ever since, but lunch time is coming up, so who knows how long this will last. i think we’ll eat in.
Every 17th of the month we meet here, go faithfully do our SBE’s and then come back to brag on ourselves…
it’s the 17th
won’t you join us…?
goal: 25 SBE-ers in Comments
You know that whole thing about Target? No…? Well, I forgive you – it’s been a long time since I mentioned it. I played phone tag with someone, exchanged a few emails, and they said they wanted to ‘educate the employees’ at that location. Uh huh. No apology. No free stuff. No guest appearance by a little white dog with a red target symbol on one eye. Nah, didn’t want one anyway, but still…
Is it a pit bull…? What’s Target doing with a pit bull for a mascot anyway… Hmm. A pit bull with a red target on one eye. Does that seem weird to anyone else? What kind of store does that anyway? Even if it isn’t a pit bull, it’s an odd concept. Successful I suppose, but odd.
So Dear Friend who ensnared me into the world of scrapbooking suggested we go to the new Target in our area on the very first day it opened, and! At 8 a.m.
Really. EIGHT. So we did, and it was great, and they had cheapo scrapbook stuff and 12 packs of Diet Coke for $2. It almost made up for the incident at the other store.
Does anyone know if that’s a pit bull? He’s awfully festive.