Monday, October 23rd 2006
A Bloody Tale (and good links to make up for it)

Today I had a freak accident, and there was blood. My blood.

I was sitting on the couch (this part gets freaky, especially if you know me at all well) preparing to WRITE CHRISTMAS CARDS. Uh huh. It’s the third week in October, y’all. You are correct. I am a freak.  Every Monday i camp out on the couch, planning to listen to Mike as he hosts a call-in financial show on the radio. So I’m there, waiting for it to start, getting my cards organized. I have a ball point pen in one hand, and am reaching for my address book with the other hand. And then… BAM. A dove slams into the window LOUDLY and scares the crud out of me, and i JAM THE BALL POINT PEN STRAIGHT UP MY RIGHT NOSTRIL. Um. Whaa? Blood gushes, as I have apparently stabbed through that inner septum thing that is supposed to divide one nose hole from the other nose hole. Unless, of course, you stab a small tunnel straight through it. (no not all the way through, but it FELT like it.)

I think the dove was ok. I didn’t see loads of blood dripping from it or anything, unlike me. The irony here is that was a bird of peace, and symbolically represented on the Christmas cards  i had purchased and was preparing to write.  After that, I put them away and went with the green Christmas tree ones. Bird of peace. Pfft. Bird of gore. (And wreckless flight.)

bonus #1 A cause I love, and hello? ebay! two of my faves!  Thanks, HolySIster for the link!

bonus #2 Yea to Joel for sending me this one!

~hm

29 Comments on “A Bloody Tale (and good links to make up for it)”

1
Ginger
October 23rd, 2006
10:51 pm

You’ve GOT to be kidding! That is one of the wierdest things I’ve read about in a while. I assume you didn’t go to ER?

2
Tina
October 23rd, 2006
11:28 pm

Oh that had me laughing!
Sorry for your pain…thanks for the laugh!

3
jeana
October 24th, 2006
6:05 am

Yet another reason to love blogging because I can say, “wow, I’m so sorry that happened!” and you can’t see how hard I’m laughing.

4
Geekwif
October 24th, 2006
7:12 am

A pen went up your nose??? I’m trying to imagine the circumstances that would have allowed that pen to be perfectly positioned to end up in your nose.

Nope, can’t do it. Sure makes for a good blog post though! I wish those weird things would happen to me. Then I’d have more interesting things to write about. Well, maybe not pens up my nose, but, you know, interesting things. Like kids being magically slammed against walls and stuff, you know.

Really like Bonus #2. I’ve always wondered if supermodels were really aliens. Now I know – they’re just Photoshopped!

5
Susan
October 24th, 2006
7:15 am

OMG! Are you alright? Somewhere between the horror and hysterical laughter, I thought I should ask if you are okay.

See, I am a good friend…

6
Susan
October 24th, 2006
7:16 am

OMG! Are you alright? Somewhere between the horror and hysterical laughter, I thought I should ask if you are okay.

See, I am a good friend…

7
Susan
October 24th, 2006
7:18 am

OMG! Are you alright? Somewhere between the horror and hysterical laughter, I thought I should ask if you are okay.

See, I am a good friend…

8
Laurel Wreath
October 24th, 2006
7:52 am

Ok my eyes water just reading that. Are ok? Did you swell? Oh my goodness, I can not imagine!!!! Ouch, now I am going to be thinking about your nose all day =)

9
Wayniac
October 24th, 2006
9:06 am

Well “A bird in the hand is better than… a pen in the nose”?

Well, now you can say you poured yourself out over those CHRISTmas cards!

10
Megan
October 24th, 2006
9:15 am

*wiping the tears on my face*

Guess you need a goalie mask when…..

writing Christmas cards??

Hope it heals quickly!

11
Shannon @ Rocks in my Dryer
October 24th, 2006
9:24 am

I am feeling guilty for laughing this hard at the shedding of your blood.

12
kris
October 24th, 2006
9:41 am

I’m sorry you got hurt, but that was a really funny story! I wanted to write a more creative comment, but every time I think about it I start cracking up…and since I am at work, and everyone knows my job isn’t funny, I think I better stop now. Thanks for the laugh, hope you feel better!

13
Mary
October 24th, 2006
9:44 am

Wow. I still can’t figure out how that happened. I like the Dove link, though, and in fact, just posted a link to it on my blog. Great minds think alike.

14
Patrick
October 24th, 2006
9:51 am

EWWW EWWWW EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
nuf said

15
Shalee
October 24th, 2006
12:27 pm

Well, you could still send the cards out because it still goes with the Christmas color theme right? Red and green – you just can’t go wrong.

Oh, and I hope your nose is healing well and not swollen. If not, please don’t let that stop you from coming this weekend. I promise I won’t stare at your nose the entire time…

16
Heth
October 24th, 2006
2:14 pm

Who knew that writing Christmas cards is a full contact sport?! And seriously, you need to procrastinate that a little bit more. You are making the rest of us look bad.

17
oshee
October 24th, 2006
3:13 pm

From the 2 yr-old with gravity issues to the dove hitting the window as the pen goes up your nose…have you considered having someone follow you around with a video camera?
I bet you would make a killing on one of those funniest videos shows. :-D

18
Fiddledeedee
October 24th, 2006
6:26 pm

Soooo, how was the call-in financial show?

19
Linda
October 24th, 2006
7:13 pm

I’m sorry – I shouldn’t laugh, but I did -right out loud. I have a weakness for physical humor. You know – where people miss the chair and fall on the floor. Things like that; things you really shouldn’t laugh at at all.
I do hope you’re okay. You write a great post!

20
Susanne
October 24th, 2006
7:35 pm

One word: OUCH!

Next year wait until at least November to start those cards!

21
GiBee
October 25th, 2006
9:41 am

You know what’s really funny about this? Jeana can add this to her diet! Pigeon and Dove. Mmm. Sans the blood, of course!

22
Frannie Farmer
October 25th, 2006
4:17 pm

Ouch. OUCH.
How awful.
Frannie

23
Carol
October 26th, 2006
7:38 am

Ouch! on the nose thing.

Double-ouch that you put me to shame on the Christmas card thing.

24
stacey
October 26th, 2006
5:13 pm

Oh my goodness, that totally sounds like something I would do!! I’m sorry : )

25
Minnie
October 26th, 2006
10:58 pm

So this is where my sick mind goes after reading that:

‘I wonder if she’ll throw the pen away so she won’t accidentally do that subconscious Chewing On the End of the Pen thing…’

Ewwwww!

And that bird flying into your window? Totally creepy.

26
April
October 27th, 2006
9:05 am

Sorry to be laughing at your pain and blood. For some reason a memory of a song from childhood popped into my mind: “May the bird of paradise fly up your nose, may an elephant caress you with his toes…” Don’t remember the rest of the song (good news, huh?)
At first you had me feeling guilty about my plan not to send Christmas cards this year, but as I read on I discovered a whole new reason to add to my list.
Thanks for that.

27
Bizimama
October 29th, 2006
11:42 am

Thanks for the laugh, I hope your nose feels better!

Bizimama
http://www.bizimama.com
http://www.lordsart.com

28
Laura
October 30th, 2006
9:25 pm

I tried commenting before linking to your post, but something went bonkers… thanks for stopping by my blog, and thanks again for the laugh! :-) I really needed it today… matter of fact, got any more, because tonight wasn’t so hot either!

I’ll be back around again soon…

29

[...] time I sent Christmas cards. Then I came home and looked it up, and found out the answer. 2006. In 2006, I suffered an injury involving a ballpoint pen, a bird, a right nostril, and blood spatteri… No wonder I’m not a Christmas-y person. No one should EVER get hurt while writing Christmas [...]

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