Monday, December 11th 2006
A Lightbulb Incident. Yes. Another One.

I think this makes the fourth Lightbulb Incident this year. Two shattered for various kid-induced reasons, one shmeared with toothpaste until it burned to a poo color. And then this one.

I’m thinking that is just too many.

Yesterday we had one of those days that made me think, ‘if the kids survive childhood, i’ve done really, really  well.’  By lunchtime, I was not showered or dressed or in any way presentable, but I had cleaned up ninety million pieces of glass from a single lightbulb and scrubbed the blood of one of my children off the wall. Yes. It was that kind of day.

Ethan-6yr and Caden-2yr needed to prove AGAIN that eletricity and water can by a good mix after all, and hmmm…. what happens when you splash hot lightbulbs with cold water…? i mean, we did it already, twice i think, but… what… ? oh yeah. massive mess and glass exploding everywhere raining down on our cute little heads.

The last time this happened there were Big Safety Talks, disciplinary measures taken, and Unhappy Parents. So this time, Ethan-6yr decided it was best to hide the evidence and make sure I didn’t find out. He broke the pieces of glass into tiny pieces and rinsed them down the sink. (Because? We’ve had the talk recently about not flushing objects down the toilet. Particularly, the innards of a flashlight, for who knows what reason. In any case, he decided the sink was an excellent choice.)

Somehow he managed to only cut his fingers a few times, and they were quite minor. (note: i never ever want to see blood smeared on a wall again. it is creepy. Mr. Clean Magic Erasers will take it off, though.) Caden-2yr miraculously avoided injury. It’s a wonder they both weren’t cut to ribbons, by the looks of all the tiny crunched up glass pieces everywhere. 

Caden-2yr was the helpful whistleblower on the case, and then my mom and i took turns giving Safety Talks. Mike was off hunting, somewhere with big guns, although not with the mafia at least. whoever he was with, he was toting firearms and not present to discuss safety. which is just as well, because the kids would have seen the Wrath of Mike, which is always memorable. They would know, because that’s what happened the last time they did this same. exact. thing.

And don’t you know it? You’re in your pjs, you smell bad, and you’re in the middle of a Massive Incident and a dear relative shows up at the door. You’d KNOW this of course, if you hadn’t lost your cell phone – or bothered to look for it – because he left messages saying he was coming… and when… but i never heard them.

the house was a mess. besides the blood and glass. i was a complete mess. the kids were thrilled for the timely diversion. they instinctively knew the arrival of a guest was very much in their favor. it’s really, really hard to be the stern DON’T EVER DO IT AGAIN Crazy Mommy when you’re desperately searching for clothes, a vacuum, and patience.

here’s to surviving childhood. if we can get through it without anymore lightbulb incidents, or blood on the walls, I get serious bonus points.


10 Comments on “A Lightbulb Incident. Yes. Another One.”

December 11th, 2006
7:21 am

I think this is why I like you so much–our realities match! We move from one crisis to the next around here…..all in the name of family! I’m so glad no one was injured, no police had to come, and no one was permanently damaged! All in all–a good day!



December 11th, 2006
8:21 am

Wow, what a day! My son, Josh, just asked me the other day what would happen if he could spit all the way up to the lights. I can see it happening already!!

December 11th, 2006
9:07 am

I didn’t know that hot light bulbs exploded when water was splached on them! It kinda makes me want to go try it…but I’m too big of a chicken to actually do it, and I don’t want my hubby giving me the big safety talk. He said he knew that happened, maybe he did it when he was little?? Hmm.

December 11th, 2006
10:13 am

I can just see you all frantic to get things straight while your boys are sighing relief of your guest showing up, he he. But although I can see the humor, it is very stressful when your children do things that you think they know better NOT to do. My almost 5 yr old daughter stuck a pair of tweezers in the bathroom light socket the other day!! I have never seen her so scared in her whole little life, and that is a good thing. She will never stick anything in a light socket again. And I didn’t even have to discipline, the sparks that flew out of that socket was enough for her.

Stacey N
December 11th, 2006
12:23 pm

I’d say take the rest of the day off (but I know the reality with little ones). At least indulge in something decadent when they go to bed tonight!

crickl's nest
December 11th, 2006
1:45 pm

I don’t think those new flourescent type screw in light bulbs would blow, because they don’t get very hot. You should replace them all with flourescents and not tell them. Then they’ll SEE how cunning you are and they’ll start wondering about metal and electricity by shoving paper clips into outlets……. *yikes*

Nevermind….I hope you get those bonus points!

December 11th, 2006
10:51 pm

The Weblog Awards, Part IV

Click Part One to see what this is all about. The next category is a hard one be

Grim Reality Girl
December 12th, 2006
2:28 am

I’m glad the injuries were not worse! Been there with ya! Also — I agree, blood on the wall is not a pretty sight! May you never see it again!

Unexpected guest? I’d have to throw myself in front of a train right now if someone landed on my doorstep!

julie carobini
December 12th, 2006
9:06 pm

Really, you’ve got to consider writing Mom-lit. Really. I mean it. Do it for harrowed mothers everywhere.

December 19th, 2006
6:59 am

Sounds like your 6-year old is determined to discover just how many ways he can do the things his parents don’t want him to. I sincerely hope your husband will get rid of those guns!

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