Holy Mama, thanks for sharing about your daughter. It seems she’s been at the treatment center for about a year now…I hope she’s making progress, and that your family is finding some peace.

I also wanted to mention to the parents of kids with ADHD…the Total Focus Program (also by Legacy Parenting) deals specifically with that issue, and works for both boys and girls. I haven’t used it myself, but you can go onto the site and see what you think: http://www.trytotalfocus.com. It’s a program created by Dr. Bob Myers, the father of a boy with ADHD. Many parents have told me that it truly works. Good luck, and God speed to all of you.

She was diagnosed with ADHD before age six and it only took a short while for us to discover that she could not benefit from the normal class of drugs for this illness. Instead of slowing down her brain, those medications just speed the brain. She has tried non-stimulants, such as Strattera, with no success. She has tried numerous other drugs, off label, because the normal treatments do not work, but with no success.

We took her to Johns Hopkins Hospital, in Baltimore, to be examined by doctors who are well known, in this field. They confirmed her diagnosis, but did not come up with a treatment, other than the medications she had already tried. Several thousand dollars later, we were quite disenchanted with their psychiatry department for children.

We took her to the Amen Clinic, in Virginia, where she had the brain scans and psychological testing. Knowing the history of medications with which she had been treated, they merely suggested using the stimulants, only in a much smaller mg. dosage. If those scans are accurate, we were told she has what is typed as the “ring of fire”, otherwise, she is extremely ADHD. Several thousand dollars later, they just stopped communicating with us, since we live in another state and would not consent to going back to their clinic for a few thousand dollars more of testing.

She has been with the same doctor since she was seven. He was head of a large children’s hospital, for pyschiatry and works for the largest hospital, in our area. He has tried every combination of drugs known to man. The biggest change we see is in her weight gain-which is considered a side effect, with these types of medications.

I guess the reason I am writing this is because I am just hoping against hope that some other parent out there will read this and recognize the same pattern with their child and can recommend some treatment or medication.
We have exhausted every medical opportunity, in our area and still have not been able to find a support group for her. My heart breaks for her now that is is a teen. Because of her constant, non-stop, fast talking, she has few friends. Once on a subject, she cannot let it go until she completes whatever thoughts are in her brain, at that moment.

I made the decision to leave a well paying position, in the film industry, when she began third grade, to stay home and home school her. Like the majority of these kids, she is extremely bright and quick, but even in a small private school, the teacher had no patience. On good days, she would whiz through her subjects, on others, she could not focus and would not complete her work. The principal decided that we should spank her and that she would learn to finish her work. Needless to say, that is when we began home school. Staying in another school, was not an option, she would have been a failure. Though it is very difficult, at times, she has done well studying at home and is at least a year ahead of her schoolmates. In order to ensure she is socialized, I take I have taken on the leadership of various groups, 4 H, Girl Scouts, teaching at our local co op and she has many opportunities to be with kids of her age. Unfortunately, as her ADHD has worsened, she has fewer and fewer friends.

Can anyone relate to my child’s problems and tell us how they have dealt with them. Can anyone tell us whether or not this Total Tranformation Program will work for my daughter. Whatever the costs, we are willing to try, if there is a possibility that she can succeed.

All of you are right in that it taked more mental and physical energy than any job I have ever had. And if we didn’t love them so much we may not put so much into it.

Take hope that you are not alone. As much as she may see your “sending her away” as another strike against you. Outside help is the key. Having someone else tell her that her view of the world revolving around her is not reality is best. It was explained to me that forcing them to see the world for what it is and not what they want it to be in their head is similar to changing their whole belief system.

Not being very religious, my guess is that she has learned the bible and it’s teachings like a class but does not “feel or trust” it like you do. If she did It would shatter her solution for a perfect world… killing you. Thou shall not kill is a strong message. And she obviously did has not internalized it. Most likely the narcasistic rage portion. I believe it goes with the attachment issues.

Good luck on turning her to a better outlook. Be diligent with the other children, I find that the impact on them form this stress in the house can be just as problematic.

Julia

Our oldest daughter, from my wife’s first marriage, demonstarated all the characteristics of your precious one. And she IS precious. Our daughter was 6 when my wife and I met, and I adopted her at 8. she was raised in a Christian household with love and involvement.

You know the rest of the story.

Our daughter got pregnant at 17 (I found the receipt for the pregnancy test on the floor outside our room, left there accidentally, purposely) She was married to the father of her child 2 months later. After two years, she is still married and doing much better. However, her grasp of right and wrong is still very off.

All this to say, I love all three of our children, including the oldest, and our grandson, of course.

The two remaining children are doing much better, though, without the oldest in the house. I want the Total Transformation to help with our two youngest while they are still young!

As for your oldest, as harsh as this sounds, PLEASE DO NOT LET HER DESTROY THE LIVES OF YOUR OTHER CHILDREN. SHE WILL BE A DANGER TO THEM AND WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO CORRUPT THEM AND JUSTIFY HERSELF.

Always lover her, always pray for her, always treat her with respect as your child, but do what you must. She has made her choice, and you must make yours.

Thank you, again, for your kindness to all of us.

Bagheera

Our children try to communicate with us in the only ways that they know how. We must always remember that people do the best the can, given the circumstances, and the tools with which they have at their immediate disposal. Hang in there!:-)