100% Truck Induced Insanity
If I weren’t blogging right now, i’d be in the closet with about 19 loads of clean laundry and that is a scary, scary place. So i’m here with you out of total fear, I admit it.
Also. There are a surprising number of men who read here, and I have a question for you which you absolutely will probably not want to answer. It has to do with a car theory of mine, which is simply: It’s not cool to check out another man’s car if he is in it.
Mike has one of those trucks that is ridiculously captivating to other men. I like it too, and he lets me go ‘mudding’ in it:
(Here, Caden-3yr helpfully points out that I managed to lose a hubcap on my latest adventure)
Now. Here is my car. Just as gorgeous! (Also great for mudding, but not as powerful as Mike’s so I usually take his.)
This really isn’t supposed to have anything to do with my penchant for skidding and flying through - or getting stuck in - mud, but they’re the only car pictures I have. My point is that the cars are gorgeos and lovely and Mike’s is… cooler I suppose.
But.
Whenever Mike drives his truck, life is normal. Whenever I drive Mike’s truck, men behave like idiots. (And it has absolutely NOTHING to do with me, which I’ll explain in a minute. I’m kinda cute on a good day, but that’s it. I own the Mother of Four look.)
When I drive my car, sunroof open and windows down (i LOVE that wind blowing, summer sun stuff), life is normal. All is well with men and women alike. I am minding my own business and life is good.
I CANNOT do that in Mike’s truck without the following reaction from high school boys all the way up to older men: hoots, waves, honks, hollering (yes, hollering), proposals of marriage, they FOLLOW me, stare and just generally make big fools of themselves. It’s 100% Truck-Induced Male Insanity.
Again, it’s not me. I’m just not so Babe-ish that men would become morons at the very sight of. I know, I know. There are some women like that, and i’ve NEVER been one and that’s okay. No one gives me a second look when i’m in my car. And I like that! I’m driving to the store and look! A carful of frat boys has NOT followed me across town! LOVE THAT! I like my life like that!
Ahh. But in MIke’s truck all bets are off, and I am prepared to switch lanes, roll up windows and flash a wedding ring at a moment’s notice. Not that it helps. Because it’s really the truck they’re after, even though some of them get so confused they start flirting outrageously with the woman with the stretch marks and Mother of Four attire that they’d NEVER notice in her own car.
When Mike drives his truck, he says he gets a few doubletakes, but that’s all.
SO.
WHY can the men of my town behave themselves when Mike is driving that truck and not when I am?
I think it’s not cool for them to look at another guy’s truck that way. I have no other ideas or theories, and i’d love to hear any y’all have.
*both cars have car seats
* I don’t know what they are exactly. Cadillacs of some sort.
Does This Blog Make My Butt Look Big…?
I’ve been REALLY taking the easy way out on this blog thing. I mean, how simple is it to repeat just a few of the things Caden-3yr says around here? Way easy. I’m just not feeling all that connected to my blog community, for reasons entirely on my end. (meaning, it’s me, not you. really.) And it’s not just blog land. It’s email. I’m not checking it really, in case you’ve emailed me lately. And the phone? pfft.
Mike and I went to a couples therapist last month, as part of the ongoing intensive therapy we have to do in order to cooperate fully with the residential treatment facility our daughter is in. That awkward sentence sums up very clearly how thrilled we were to go, can ya tell? All of that to say that I found myself telling the therapist that yeah, i DO have social anxiety issues, but i like them and am not interested in him trying to ‘fix’ them. I know, I know. Some people have great success taking prescriptions for that and all and then they’re happy. But I’m embracing it, as is.
And isn’t that SO healthy? If it were my butt, you’d agree. If I told you I had made total peace with an oversized backside and was NOT forcing it into the SPANX Higher Power Panty, wouldn’t you be so proud?! Of course.
(And no, i’m not SPANXING, by the way, but i just happen to know that it’s quite effective, when absolutely necessary - like all the time right after having yet another sweet baby and clothes just. won’t. fit.)
So. Anyway. A few more easily repeated things heard around our house, since I am also fully embracing the easy way again:
Me: I have your credit card and I’m off to Victoria’sSecret.com You can thank me later!
Mike: total silence, either having not heard me at all since he was in the veeeeery back of his closet, waist deep in clothes he was sorting for donation - or, shock. whatever.
Caden-3yr: Oh MY gosh! (now repeat, every five seconds, every single day. I wish it would stop!)
Caden-3yr: I CAN DO ANYTHING THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME! (almost as often as Oh MY gosh!, and far more charming. always shouting, for some reason.)
Me: You’re supposed to be in bed, what are you doing?
Caden-3yr: just watching tv
Me: No. You cannot watch that now, or… ever actually (somehow he has turned on MTV and there is much almost-nude gyrating going on.) Go to bed.
Caden-3y: (as he leaves) I CAN DO ANYTHING THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!
He knows ONE scripture, and is totally misusing it for ill intent already. again, whatever.
Mike, speaking to one of our children: GET IN HERE YOUNG MAN! You are in Time Out! I saw the whole thing, from where you were riding Duke (the dog) like a horse, and then when you put Charlo (the cat) in the bucket! TIME OUT!
My mom, the last time I blogged and I sounded really, really chipper: Hi, CInderella, are the birds still singing? How are you doing on adjusting your antidepressant dosage, is it too high…?
Mom, genuinely concerned and thoroughly hilarious, as only she can be.
This is a picture from about a month ago, when i went to see KIm-12yr. I like the picture, even though if you look closely you can see how awkward our embrace is. They’re all like that, usually more so even than this one. She seems hesitant to hold on to me, and I clearly don’t know where to look or how to sit or how to hold this child of mine. It’s complicated even in this photographed moment. We’d just had a surprisingly good visit, but still don’t want to be this close. I’m not ever comfortable around her, and i 
know she would say the same of me.
She’s been there almost a year, in another state, and is turning into Kim-13yr there. That bothers me so much, and I didn’t expect it to at all. I do all sorts of things to make her birthday special (all sorts of things she never appreciated or made fun of or resented or hated me for doing…. but still! it was MY thing to try in futility to make her happy that day!) And now it isn’t. And I’m not even a little bit relieved, and am completely surprised by that.
So much for the easy way of blogging. I didn’t mean to get into all of that. And maybe it’s all the butt talk from earlier, but i think this blog is making my butt look big. i could have Higher Powered that day if i’d known it would wind up here.
Toddlerhood and Brotherhood
overheared at lunch today:
caden-3yr, reaching over to hold seth-1yr’s hand, said, "I will give this to you." His tone was solemn. They shared a serious nod. Then he dipped a cheeto in his macaroni and cheese and carefully offered it to his little brother.
Seth-1yr took the gift, kissed it sweetly, and ate it in one chomp.
Caden-3yr nodded in satisfaction that his little brother had properly received his offering, and then said, "no more for you. oh MY GOSH I am just not sharing. mine. all mine."
I like your...
