Sometimes y’all write and ask who reads here. It’s a reasonable question, and one that is getting asked more frequently, so I thought I’d answer it and then just send people a link to this post whenever they email me asking this in the future. If you’ve never wondered, skip!

1. A huge number of parents who are interested in the Total Transformation Program. I get into email conversations with them about the specifics of the problems they’re having with their kids and try to encourage them to hang in there. That’s the biggest single group, and the one that is most time consuming. (I don’t mind at all)

2. Bloggers and blog readers. Some I’ve met and consider friends, most I haven’t.

3. Friends and family and ‘friends of friends and family.’ No idea who they are unless they tell me. (Usually I prefer not to know.)

4. The Straight Male Group. I’d guess around 20 of them. They usually write and confess that they are reading, and sometimes ask me why. (as if I’d know.) They often assert their heterosexuality, as if reading a mommyblog might actually negate that and so it better be cleared up. (y’all. I really don’t care.) Often they talk about their wives and girlfriends and they never flirt. (Thank you.) Once one of them even felt it necessary to tell me he was not attracted to me in any way and that is not why he was reading me. (no one really needs to go there again – that one guy handled that area for all of you. thanks. so. much.) Sometimes they seek relationship advice, and usually I tell them to dump the stupid sounding girl. I can be harsh, so Straight Male Group members should really not go there unless they want to hear that.

5. The Shallow Like Me group. I love these women. They are an unpredictable lot. They usually find me by googling “david kahn jeans” or a shoe I’ve mentioned. They recognize I’m much like them and they stay. And occasionally they email me asking how to spot counterfeit designer labels on eBay, or if I would mind explaining what it is exactly about David Kahns that make the butt look so much better than any other denim. (Pure genius I do not pretend to understand, dears.) One of this group actually asked if I’d mind taking a picture of my butt in two different brands to demonstrate the difference. Right. You don’t remember that post? Right. It’s never gonna happen, and I knew her for awhile before she requested this, otherwise I would have been very alarmed. (You know who you are, and I adore your thinking – but don’t EVER ask anyone to photograph their BUTT again, girl! No, not even in the interest of higher denim education.)

6. The You’re Not Christian Enough Group. I like these ladies, too. Ooooh, I am a thorn in their side. They mean well. They think I’m often singlehandedly stunting the entire movement of Christianity by not turning this site into a daily Bible study. (dude. it’s just a blog. Don’t understimate the Almighty, okay?) Or when I mention the music I listen to, or almost anything else. (to which I say, hello? I’d suck so bad at the Daily Devotional by Kelsey idea and any attempt would singlehandedly slow the entire movement of Christianity far more than anything else i could ever do, so i’ll just talk about shoes but thanks.) The ‘sorta shallow’ bit is at the top of the page is mainly to warn the members of this group what they’re getting into. They’re more than welcome to stay and discuss the intricacies of lip gloss selection, but that’s as deep as we usually get here. Generally it’s only a matter of time before I offend them and they email me and I try to work it out with them without apologizing for how I am not like them. Sometimes that works. Sometimes it doesn’t. I like their conviction, their devotion, and know full well that I’d be friends with most of them if we went to church together. Where I never discuss lip gloss. Actually, where I never discuss anything becuase I keep my mouth shut. Sometimes I manage to offend entire Christian groups who have linked to me, then decided belatedly that it was a bad idea. No biggie.

7. the occasional, harmless Freak. Like Jeff. Although Jeff really didn’t fit the mold. Usually this type is weird and sends weird emails. Ignoring will cause him to wander away in less than six weeks, easily. Oh, there was that one time I got myself on the Hate Lists of several sites because I dared say i don’t really like Elton John. That was eye opening. Who knew those Elton fans could be so… well. Nevermind. No sense in going there again.

All sorts of readers email me when i’ve been gone from my site for awhile. Or if I say I’m stressed, or not eating or sleeping much. Or if they think I’m not being really candid about something. (that always makes me laugh. i once wrote a post called ‘a speculum story.’ no i won’t link to it – but there’s just no beating that for candor. unless maybe i photographed my butt in various brands of denim.) Y’all can be a worrisome bunch. I appreciate it, really. And I don’t talk about the stuff that bugs me, but I try not to pretend everything is wonderful when it isn’t. Notice I almost never talk about my daughter. It’s an area of my life that is just not okay. Not even close. So I’ll wait and write about it when there’s a happy ending, or whenever it isn’t so painful that i can write about it in a funny way. Because that’s what I do. If I’m not talking about it, it’s bothering me. Go ahead and pray if that’s your thing, and I’ll be grateful.

One other thing. Lots of times people think they need to email me when they disagree, instead of leaving a comment. It makes no difference to me if you email, but you might just want to comment and see what sort of conversation starts. I’m not offended by your disagreeing with me – and if you have a different designer who in your opinion beats david kahn then i’d be bothered if you didn’t tell me.

Whoever you are, and whether you find yourself in one of the above groups or not, I’m glad you’re here.

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