Friday, November 9th 2007
The Tall Man with the Chihuahua

Today I took Seth-2yr to PetSmart. I did NOT take the dog. Duke is a well trained hunting dog. He has some serious dog skills. But going to PetSmart and not twinkling on everything is not one of those skills. I don’t know how all those other dogs manage to behave themselves, but Duke could really learn a thing or two from them. I know some dogs have the occasional accident because I see the clean up supplies that are available. (I’m WAY too familiar with the exact location of all the clean up supplies, actually.) But Duke goes in determined to twinkle everywhere and I’ve made the very unpopular decision that too bad, no more PetSmart for Duke. He can just wonder where his food comes from and never setep paw in there again.

The last time I went to PetSmart, I thought it would really help Duke behave better if I didn’t have the kids. It would just be him and me and therefore he would have my undivided attention and I’d be able to completely stop any twinkle accidents before they started. Right. And I think I did. But what I did not count on was the guy with the chihuahua.

I had a bag of dog food in one hand, leash in the other, and we’re walking to the front of the store. In front of me is a very tall, very effeminate man, also walking to the front of the store. His walk is very girly. His clothes are very girly. And I’m completely distracted because he has words tattooed on the back of his neck, just above his collar and I can’t make them out. But I really WANT to know what those words say, so I’m way off my “Duke has my undivided attention” plan.

I try to walk around the guy to the right while oh so casually reading his neck, but Duke has decided that left is the way to go. Now, that wouldn’t be so bad, but I try to correct by tugging once on the leash and Duke immediately comes back right. Except by that point he had already passed the guy on the left, so then when he veered back to me, he looped his leash firmly around the guy’s legs and then Duke just kept going right and in no time had the stupid red leash wrapped around the guy’s legs and mine as well. It looked like something out of a cartoon. We were facing each other, wrapped up at the knees (or thereabouts – that guy was tall), and only then – when I have my face two inches from this guy’s chest, do I realize he has a chihauhua in his arms. In his arms, and IN MY FACE, since I am STRAPPED TO HIM and all. The chihuahua was a longhaired variety, and seemed unfazed by my sudden appearance.

I apologized. The tall guy laughed. I untangled us. Duke never saw the chihuahua, four feet above him, and I never did get to read the guy’s neck.

That was easily three or four months ago and I still wonder what it said. It seems a little sad, really. I mean, he felt so strongly about something that he had a statement permanently etched into the back of his neck, above the collar line where it could be read by all the world. But the font was too scriptlike to be clearly read, and the font size was too small if you take into account his huge height and the result is a slightly shorter than average lady at PetSmart tries her hardest to read that all important statement and just can’t no matter what.

Duke shoulda tripped him. Then i could have read it.

~hm

8 Comments on “The Tall Man with the Chihuahua”

1
Heather
November 9th, 2007
9:13 pm

Maybe you can get the surveillance videos. ;)

2
J-mom
November 9th, 2007
10:46 pm

Great idea Heather. The video is probably already part of the PetSmart highlight video shown at the annual Christmas party.
Love, J-mom

3
Karla
November 10th, 2007
4:00 am

Maybe his tattoo read “If you’re close enough to read this you’re too close” or “My other dog is a Rottweiler” or any other guesses? :0)

4
Teresa
November 10th, 2007
4:28 am

All I want to know is if the tall man had any hair on his chest or just a hairy chihuahua because some of those girly guys like to show their hairy chests and some wax. Just wondering? I really do hope that it was caught on tape at the store and we could all send it in to America’s Funniest Home video and cash in big!!

5
Cheryl
November 10th, 2007
4:31 pm

Too bad there were not pictures taken. Oh, wait…perhaps you can talk someone into the tapes from the survelience (sp?) cameras.

6
Nenia
November 12th, 2007
12:45 pm

Very funny! I could see it happening as I read it!

7
Stacey
November 14th, 2007
6:42 pm

Chihuahua’s… a tall man’s best friend ;o)

8

[...] needs that.  Ah! It was probably a reaction to the fine-print tattoo on this guy (one I ended up plastered against in a Petsmart in a much too personal way.) Well thanks for getting right on that issue, subconscious. That was 2 1/2 yrs [...]

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