Archive for December, 2007

Today, as an Unenumerated List

December 30th, 2007 at 5:18 am » Comments (10)

i bought LaLa a Baker’s Edge Brownie pan for Christmas. I am a No Edge (No Bake) person, so this is the worst possible idea for me personally, but LaLa is all about the edges and the baking. It was supposed to be in by December 13, and upon further investigation…? Hadn’t even shipped. Grr. Did any of you get one of these? You, my friend, are blessed. All of the Internet says they are backordered until late January. Anyway. I think I got one re-ordered from a different site.

Tonight we took our three boys plus an extra boy to a family fun sort of place. hard to describe. lots of trampline basketball, balls, blocks, see saws. See? Hard to explain. Then to dinner. We had a great time, and the boy who is not one of my sons told a fabulous joke. “What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?”

frostbite. Isn’t that cute?!

Mike made a whole lot of cookies.

I ate a whole lot of cookies.

Caden-3yr got out of bed a thousand times tonight after being tucked in. (A thousand is roughly twice as often as usual.)

Ethan-7yr experimented with swearing. We revisited the issue.

Seth-2yr flirted shamelessly with countless cute little girls today. All my boys do this. To an extreme. It’s disturbing.

Seth-2yr has invented a way to rotate the artificial, full sized, Christmas tree using only his tiny backside. He can make it turn in a full circle. And today he decorated it by throwing a used, wadded up tissue at it. I think he misses the ornaments.

Next week, I will miss the Christmas lights, shining through the bedroom window while I go to sleep.

And my mom.

Who casually worked the word ‘brazilian’ into a conversation recently.

I did not know the meaning of that particlar word, so it seemed.

And I have since been enlightened.

I am completely okay with never, ever being as cool as J-Mom. I just don’t even know how she does it.

Although it might have something to do with her chick a wow wow.


December 27th, 2007 at 4:08 am » Comments (3)

I’m back! Did you worry, or were you all so busy yourselves you barely noticed? Yeah. That’s what I thought.

So! The winner for Club 17, December is…. Shannon over at Rocks in My Dryer! YEA!!!! Cuteness to be mailed your way soon, Shannon!

If you didn’t BSE, what with holiday chaos, do it now anyway, ‘kay?

Club 17, December Edition

December 17th, 2007 at 6:34 am » Comments (15)

Did you think I’d forget? Soooo busy with J-Mom and LaLa visiting, that I wouldn’t remember…? Of course not.

The 17th of each month is special here, because y’all faithfully do your BSE’s and say you did in the comments. THen one of you who did just that receives a fantastical prize in the mail from me. And all of you who did feel wonderfully proactive and health conscious for remembering to do the monthly self breast exam that really everyone should do and so very few remember. (Except you!)

Got questions? Answers here.

Everyone is waaaay busy this time of year, so would you do me a favor and spread the word on your own blog, if you have one? It would be especially appreciated this month even more than usual. Thanks!

The MOST Annoying Lady in the Post Office

December 14th, 2007 at 8:30 pm » Comments (13)

I took Caden-3yr to the post office on Monday. It was just the two of us, so it was sort of special, even though it was just a short stop. Actually, it wasn’t quite as short as I would have liked, since there was a long line. Caden-3yr amused himself at his usual volume (loud), by singing and dancing and asking a thousand questions. I answered them, in an extra quiet voice, hoping my volume would influence his volume. (No.) At one point he noticed a framed Star Wars print on the wall (no idea why it was there), and he did a fantastic lunge move, while simultaneously thrusting his fists into the air and singing “WHOO WHOO, STAR WARS!!!”

The other post office goers were politely smiling in his direction and probably hoping he didn’t talk to them. He didn’t. We were almost at the front of the line, and Caden-3yr said something to me I didn’t understand. I leaned closer, and asked him twice to repeat it, so I could answer whatever he was probably asking and we could just move on already. My mistake. He loudly sighed and then put his hands on his hips. He’s three. And little. So little fists on little hips and a giant sigh can be a really cute combination. But then he raised his voice to even louder than normal and said “MOM! I AM TALKING TO MYSELF.” Another big sigh. “AND YOU. ARE. INTERRUPTING.”

The Camel, The Goat, and the Other One.

December 11th, 2007 at 5:23 am » Comments (4)

i stood at the sink, brushing my teeth just now when mom came into the bathroom.

she says, “what do you think happens to the goat, the camel, and the (some other animal i already forgot)?”

Ummm? We weren’t talking about three animals, of which i can only remember two. She’s picking up the kids’ bath toys in the tub, so i lean over and look to see if there are are toy versions of those three animals. No.

“Mom, I can’t even begin to guess the context for that sentence.”

“Oh! I thought you knew. Ethan-7yr said there is a display at his school with a camel, a goat, and a (whatever she said). I just wondered what happened to them at night. If they have to stay there all night or not. Because they’re probably cold.”

“Ummm. Well. They probably stay outside at night even when not on duty at the school.” By this point she has also further explained that there is some sort of live nativity scene going on for a week, complete with a camel, a goat, and a who-knows-what. Just three animals, serving the Lord.

“Yeah. I just wondered if they had security. Ethan-7yr would know. He thinks about stuff like that.”

It’s kinda sad if the camel, the goat, and the Forgotten Third Animal of a nativity scene need their own bodyguards.
It’s completely wonderful to have brief, bizarre little conversations like that.

Soon There will be Pig Snort Laughing

December 7th, 2007 at 5:31 am » Comments (11)

It’s true! Mom will be here in a few days, and then soon after LaLa arrives for a week. And when the three of us are in the same room, or house, or state… the lovely music of pig snorting laughter fills the air. To be fair, Mom almost never Pig Snort Laughs. Does she, LaLa? I can’t remember. Has she ever…?

LaLa and I, though, well, laughing pigs don’t have anything on us. One of us will do something. Say something. It doesn’t have to be funny, or stupid, or smart, or interesting, and the other one will start laughing. Not PSL (Pig Snort Laughing), just regular laughing. Then the other one of us will start. Then one of us will start sucking in air in big squeaks, which inevitably sets the other one off. Tears start streaming down our faces while we squeak and then succomb to full blown PSL. Each pig snort has the added effect of making this entire hysterical cycle worsen. The sister who has most recently pig snorted gains a silent pointing finger from the other sister, and increased PSLing from both. Then it’s the other sister’s turn to PSL and earn the finger point.

The pointing finger is fantastically unneccessary, of course, since it’s only purpose is to say “You Pig Snorted! I heard you!” and hello? It’s a Pig Snort in a Pig Snort Laughing session, and NO ONE in the nearest three zip codes needs help from a silent finger point to identify the Pig Snorter. It’s impossible to properly Pig Snort and actually NEED to be further identified with a silent finger point, but it’s just fun. Occasionally one or both of us end up doubled over on the floor, stomach aching from all the PSL and gasping for oxygen since it is SO hard to breathe when PSLing.

I don’t think we do this with other people. Maybe occasionally one Pig Snort will slip out (so! embarrassing!), but not the full blown collapse-into-hysteria-and-alarm-the-small-children variety. OoooH! can’t wait!

But I do think about a Christmas say, twenty years from now when Ethan-27yr looks at Caden-23yr and Seth-22yr and says, “Remember when Aunt LaLa would visit and she and Mom would stand in the kitchen and laugh about nothing and snort like… like… pigs until they fell on the floor and pointed at each other and cried? What was WRONG with them?”

Yep. Building quite a legacy here.

And if you’re wondering what in the world our mother does while we’re falling all over the place, here is my guess. It’s just a guess, since when PSLing, I can’t see or breather or even wonder what my mother might be doing. I’d say she is standing by, laughing in a non-swine way and swelling with pride at the sight of two classy ladies she raised.

And calming down the animals and small children we’re scaring.

Almost Pizza

December 6th, 2007 at 2:00 am » Comments (4)

Recently I mentioned LaLa’s pita bread pizza recipe. In my book, it’s a recipe. There is food preparation, and cooking. In my book, it’s actually one of my more complicated recipes, since it involves chopping. But in LaLa’s world – a complex place with difficult culinary creations – it’s ALMOST a recipe.

It’s pretty good pizza, regardless. So, voila.

She manages to use at least two words I don’t know in this post. That’s VERY common with us. She’ll be talking, and throwing out weird words I don’t recognize and sometimes I”ll stop her and ask for a definition. Usually not, because she can ALWAYS give you a definition. (i can’t define anything when asked) So the other approach is to just nod and smile and remind myself that it is so fortunate that my self esteem does not hinge upon my vocabulary. Or upon hers. So go read the pizza almost-recipe, and if there are unfamiliar words, just nod and smile.

And if you have no idea what words I don’t understand, just don’t tell me.

Diffusing Disgusting With A List Format

December 5th, 2007 at 5:21 am » Comments (7)

1. Today caden-3yr had an opportunity to coin a new word. Poop-anado. That’s a combination of the words Poop and Tornado. I was blessed not to see the specimen that inspired this word.

2. Night before last, I found out it is entirely possible to sleep through a baby throwing up all over the bed. I sleepily rationalized that those ‘cold spots’ couldn’t possibly be vomit, because it would stink.

3. My stupid sense of smell betrayed me and did not bother to wake up and smell the puke.

4. Despite #3, I don’t drink heavily. (Or at all, actually) I’m just a sleep deprived mom.

5. Mike would have woken up, and probably even cleaned it up, but he was experiencing great favor from the Lord God Above, and was out of town that night. (A logistical oversight issue I later found necessary to discuss with the Lord God Above.)

6. Seth-2yr also got VERY sick in the car, taking Caden-3yr to preschool the next day. Caden-3yr was seated directly behind Seth-2yr and didn’t see the action.

7. Caden-3yr’s sense of smell was wide awake.

8. Caden-3yr asked what happened. I told him. He asked, “What kind of throw up is it?” I thought about it. Looked back at Seth-2yr, and said, “Brown.” Caden-3yr thought this over and then said, “Yeah. I thought so. Brown throw up smells REALLY bad.”

9. Seth-2yr handled the situation better than anyone else I know would have. He bugged his little eyes out, accepted the blanket I offered, and waited the fifteen additional minutes it took for me to get us home and get him out of his car seat. THen he said, ‘thank you.’

10. Tonight Caden-3yr sweetly asked me to clip his ‘Toe Fingernails.’ Then he changed it to ‘Feeternails.’

11. Yesterday Mike told me that someone had nominated me for Sexiest Mommy Blogger (something like that) on some site. And that it wasn’t him. I suspect y’all do that just to crack me up, because there’s no way you find all this poo talk sexy.

12. Don’t try and find it and vote -you’ll get all kinds of spam in your email. Like Mike did, when he voted.

13. Serves him right for missing all the brown throw up.

14. And brown really IS the worst kind.