Archive for April, 2008

Derailed by a Car Nap

April 30th, 2008 at 6:50 pm » Comments (17)

Why is it that if a toddler falls asleep in his carseat for even 42 SECONDS, he does not need his regularly scheduled 2 hour nap?  How is that possible?  Every single one of my kids has followed this same illogical pattern.  If a kid of mine even blinks too long, I start rolling down windows and singing loudly in order to deter an unauthorized snooze.  Seriously.  Less than ONE MINUTE of closed eyes in the car means no nap at home. 

Why?!  The math does NOT work! 

A Thoughtful Gift Idea for a Dog

April 27th, 2008 at 8:44 pm » Comments (10)

conversation with ethan-8yr, on way home from school.

e: can we get an oxpecker?

me:  excuse me?  (surely I did not hear that right, or I have no idea what an ox pecker is.  Only one thing is coming to mind. And I really wish it weren’t.)

e: it’ a bird.

me:  (silenty, OH!!!!)

e: it can eat 100 ticks a day.

me: sounds like a lovely creature.  why do we need one?

e:  I saw duke scratching the other day.

me: he’s a dog. dogs scratch.  (I didn’t add, “he’s a male. MALES scratch. a LOT.”)

e: well, this book from Grandmother says that the oxpecker can also eat snot and earwax off larger animals. 

me: uh huh.

e: so duke could really use an oxpecker. 

I told him to talk to Mike about it. Not because I minded telling him ‘no.’ And not because I thought Mike might say ‘yes.’ 

Just because oxpecker conversations are rather rare, and should be shared.


April 23rd, 2008 at 2:11 am » Comments (4)

Yeaaaa! I was secretly pulling for Jan this month, but the online random number picker thing agreed. (She said she’d be happy to have garden-y stuff, and BOY, DO I HAVE THE GARDEN-Y STUFF.)

Tonight I planted 100 MORE daylilies and about 25 MORE cannas. Last week the numbers were about the same, if not more. I can’t wait to see them bloom!

Jan is EXTRA lucky this month, since she is also supposed to head directly over to Janera’s site to choose additional prize components. Last week Janera sent me yellow cannas (that I planted promptly in the front flowerbeds) , and a gorgeous candle.

I’m picky with candles. They can’t smell like food, especially not fruit, and they can’t smell like spices and certainly not like vanilla. Gag. Really, I love candles. But I only like ones that smell like Christmas trees. Not Christmas, because those often smell of cinnamon too. Gross. And? This candle fits the bill and is gorgeous, too. This is the second time in recent months I’ve had good candle success with Bloggers Who Sell Candles. Y’all are better than traditional candle stores. Or school fundraising candle type places, which is usually the source of candles that end up in my home, only to smell suspiciously like spices and fruits. Janera’s site also offers bath and body products, which I haven’t tried, but I can tell you they’re probably pretty good because it’s the same company as that candle. And Janera said it was good. Actually, she said ‘addictive.’

So, go HERE to see Janera’s candle/bath body stuff site.

Go HERE to say hi to Janera at her blog.  (Actually, ALL of you should go do that, since right now she’s giving away candle goodness, and you, too, can be like Jan!)

So.  Jan. Good month to win. You get garden-y goodness AND stuff from Janera!  I’ll send you details shortly.

He3*! have 0y n40 36c2 6n, and can’t t4rn 5t 6ff.

April 23rd, 2008 at 1:32 am » Comments (177)

S6 5 haven’t b36gged, beca4se the 3ast few t50es 5′ve t4rned 6n the c60*4ter, the n40 36c2 has been 6n.    even ty*ed 5nt6 g66g3e , ‘He3*!  have 0y n40 36c2 6n, and  can’t t4rn 5t 6ff,’ H6*5ng that s60e6ne w643d have been s6 25nd as t6 b36g an answer t6 0y *3ea.  And 5f y64 th5n2 5t’s REA33Y that easy t6 f5g4re 64t h6w t6 f5x th5s, we33. t’s n6t.  F6r 0e.  F5na33y,  f5ng4red 5t 64t.  S6 sh643d any 6the r*66r tech5n5ca33y cha33enged 5nd5v5d4a3 g66g3e s60eth5ng s5053ar, ta2e heart when y64 see th5s.  t’ 62ay.  4st frant5ca33y *4sh a33 the F b4tt6ns at the t6* 4nt53 6ne 6f the0 w6r2s.  Yeah. THat’s the answer.

Transalation:  Haven’t been blogging since I had that ‘number lock’ thing on and couldn’t get it off. I hoped that if I typed ‘Help, I have my num lock on and can’t turn it off’  into google, that someone would have provided a helpful bloggy tip to the so afflicted. But no. So I decided I would be that kind person, should I ever determine how to escape.  Turning on and off the computer did not work. Pushing shift + all the function keys did not work, or ALT + function keys.  Anyway.  It’s one of those at the top of the keyboard.  Helpful, huh?  Seth-2yr likes to remove my keys, and sometimes they get found and put back on in new places so I’m pretty sure that the key that ACTUALLY works to solve this on my computer is not the key that it should be.  Whatever.

No one else will probably ever have need to google such a post as this, but here it is anyway. The Good Samaritan post for geniuses like me who can’t figure out their num lock.  You’re welcome.  Have a lovely day.  You’ve overdosed on numbers and surely are frustrated with them by now. Enjoy an extra vowel or two.

Updated: Y’all, be sure to check comment section. There are LOADS of people just like you every day who find this post, and add their own tips on how to fix this.

CLub 17, April

April 17th, 2008 at 4:23 am » Comments (11)

Before I get to the whole ‘go feel your boobs’ part of this post, have y’all been reading Jeana’s posts about her family’s days in London?  FANTASTIC.  Don’t miss.

Now. Boobs.  Time to do the monthly self breast exam, leave a comment on this post saying you did and thereby gain entry to a contest. Winner of said contest gets something cute.  I vowed to start saying WHAT you win ahead of time, but then I forgot.  Well. I didn’t ‘vow.’  I said.   


Okay, winging it here.  This month, if you’re a gardener, I can send you a few daylilies or cannas from my EXTREME ebay shopping spree.  Boxes of big brown earthy smelling bulbs and tubers arrive daily on my doorstep. Nice! 

And if you’re not into plants, there will be other, unnamed cuteness for your prize. (not that tubers are cute. nothing called ‘tuber’ could be cute.  you know what i mean.) 

Sooooo.  As a reminder, we do this monthly thing just to remember these things are important and have a fun incentive in order to stay on track.  Because it’s a once a month thing, I also use it as a reminder to do the Rid-X and bug Mike about changing the air filters.  (Yes really. Once a month.)  Because no one gives me a prize for remembering to do the Rid-X or bug Mike about the air filters – and because I don’t have to remember to GIVE a prize for these things, I tend to forget. But it’s a good system.  In a ’not really working’ sort of way.  Which probably means it isn’t a good system.  Hmm.  Moving on.

BSE. Then report back. Win earthy smelling potential blooms or Mystery Prize.  Feel health conscious.  Better than self conscious.  Although I suppose you could easily feel both. 

I think I’m tired. Goodnight. Good luck! 

Thou Shalt Not Have Any Other Friends…

April 14th, 2008 at 6:39 pm » Comments (10)

I disappeared for awhile.  I tend to do that.  I highly value the concept of not being too accessible.  This explains my rare inclination to answer the phone, or check emails, and why I’ve managed to lose 2 perfectly good cell phones in the last weeks.  I just don’t mind not being ‘connected.’  I don’t want a phone that also has internet capabilities (I don’t even want a phone at all, usually) and I certainly will not be exchanging IMs with anyone. If you want to call me and can’t reach me for a few days, I’m only going to feel guilty in case of a VERY major crisis in your life.

Although most people seem to find this very annoying and inconvenient … I still like it very much.

What I do NOT like very much, or at all, is Caden-4yr’s new social framework. By ’new’ I mean, 2 hours old.  Surely it’s still malleable. I picked him up from Pee Tool (how he pronounces PreSchool) and a cute little girl ran out to give him a firm hug goodbye.  He blushed.  The teacher said they are now ‘quite the item.’ I’m hardly surprised or disturbed by this.  It runs in the family

But then, on the way to the car, Caden-4yr tells me that only SHE is his friend now.  (She is a brown eyed cutie who is brand new to the Pee Tool class.)

“Oh?  What about so-and-so?”


“What about (another) so-and-so?”


“Oh.  Well. I’m just so glad that SHE is your friend, but I’m also glad that so-and-so and so-and-so and so-and-so are your friends, too.”

“No. They are not my friends.  SHE said SHE is my only friend now.  I cannot have other friends, Mom. Just her.” Then he beamed sweetly at me as if he’d just discovered puppies and rainbows for the first time. 

“Huh.  I’ll get back to you on this one.  This conversation is NOT OVER.”   Really, y’all. That’s the best I could do at that moment.  I wanted to completely undo the feminine brainwashing that had so easily taken place and rearranged his social network.  But that’s a big undertaking, and not a Seat of My Pants kind of Parenting Moment.  There’s no ‘winging’ that sort of talk.  Not for me, anyway – I’m just not that quick. 

I can easily rattle off whatever will be effective if two or more of my kids are fighting or arguing or picking each others’ noses.  No problem.  But  convincing Caden-4yr that swearing off all friendships out of loyalty to the new cutie in class is NOT OKAY?  I’m still working on it.   

Suggestions welcome. (via any way you can possibly reach me, and thank you already.)  


Adam, Eve, Charlo, and Duke

April 2nd, 2008 at 11:05 pm » Comments (11)

Seth-2yr likes to share. It’s an admirable trait in any kid, but it’s certainly rare in a two year old. 

Just now he tried to ‘share’ with Charlo, the cat.  Seth-2yr does this a lot. Last week he ‘shared’ his favorite blanket with Charlo by tucking him in very sweetly.  And the day after that he ‘shared’ his stuffed animals with Charlo by edging them closer and closer to him to see if he would play with them.  (He didn’t.)

Charlo enjoyed Seth-2yr sharing his blanket. He was indifferent to the stuffed animals.  But he was completely annoyed just now, at Seth-2yr’s latest efforts. He’s an easygoing cat. He doens’t get annoyed often. 

But Seth-2yr pushed his kitty limits when he tried to share his Elmo underwear by putting them on Charlo’s hind legs and trying to yank them up. 

Caden-4yr overheard me saying, “Please don’t put underwear on the cat,” and turned to see what was happening.  Caden-4yr looked at Seth-2yr, who by now was trying to untangle Charlo’s hind legs from the Elmo undies, and said, “Charlo does not NEED underwear, Seth-2yr.”  Then he thought about that for a minute and said, “Cats do not need underwear. Not just Charlo.” 

I thought he was done. 

He thought some more.

Seth-2yr freed the cat from the underwear and Charlo ran off.

“Mom!  Charlo HAS NOT BEEN WEARING UNDERWEAR!”  He was suddenly horrified at this realization.   I started thinking about Adam and Eve and how they first realized they’d been unclothed. That was the scene in our living room.  Well. Sorta. 

“MoooOOOoooM!  Charlo isn’t wearing underwear!  Why not?  Why is he just walking around …. without… underwear?  You tell me underwear is important!”  He paused to breathe and maybe see if I’d answer, but I couldn’t.  Breathing wasn’t actually possible at that moment.   Caden-4yr’s big blue eyes were wide and he looked around – as surely the entire world looked differently to him now.  

And then he saw Duke.  The dog.  And it started all over again.

Pretty soon Caden-4yr might be trying to ‘share’ his own Elmo underwear.   After all, I did say it was important. As is sharing. But not sharing underwear with the pets. I should have clarified.  Obviously.

 Who knew he was listening?