Saturday, May 31st 2008
Mars and Venus, According to Ethan-8yr

I have a loose policy of ‘no nagging.’  Mike hates nagging, and I usually dislike myself when I fall into it.  So instead I ask him to do whatever it is I want done, and then do it myself if he won’t.  Works for us. 

Very rarely there are exceptions.  When it came time to start having  the series of talks on  body parts/functions/how things work/sex , I talked with Kim-14yr.  We talked more than she wanted to. We had books.  We had more talks.  And Mike assured me that with the b0ys, he’d be the one to take the lead.

So I asked him to start that process, especially with Ethan-8yr.  (although, at the TIME of the request he was Ethan-7yr.)  Mike agreed.  He bought a book on how to talk to your kids about such things.  I think he even read it.  It lived on his side of the closet, and every Tuesday and Friday morning I’d go to get his dry cleaning organized and I’d see that book.  The sight of that book bugged me greatly, since it was a fantastic reminder that he hadn’t just TALKED TO THE KID.  So I started leaving little notes on the dry cleaning slips and tucking them into his drawers.  These were charming surprises, I’m sure. Really endearing

I think the first one read “You said you’d do this months ago.”  I tucked it into the How to Talk to the Kid book where it wouldn’t be missed.

Another month passed.  The next note, also on the dry cleaning slip read “JUST DO IT” 

And then another month. 

Why didn’t I just follow my own policy and do it myself?  Because I REALLY want the boys and Mike to have the ‘we can talk about stuff’ relationship, and this seemed a milestone in fostering that.  

The last note read, “Please talk to him by Friday.  Address whatever issues are preventing you from doing it by then and get it done.  Please.”

I didn’t really think he would.  And yuck!  That escalated from nagging to ultimatum. Gross. 

However.

Friday night Mike and Ethan-8yr had a conversation.  YEA!!!

Perhaps it had been awhile since Mike read the How to Talk to Your Kid About This Topic Your Wife Thinks is Sooooo Important book, or perhaps he hadn’t fully addressed whatever was preventing him in the first place.  Maybe he was just nervous. 

I really don’t care, because he did it, and that makes me VERY happy.

But for whatever reason, Mike started the conversation a little on the vague side.  “So… Ethan-8yr.  Do you know the differences between how boys and girls are made?”

I know.  Isn’t that cute ALL BY ITSELF?  Oh, funny. 

Ethan-8yr said, “Sure.  God made girls with longer hair. They think different too.  And they walk differently.”  Then he does a dramatic, prissy walk, complete with alternate shoulder thrusting and swiveling hips and says, “Especially if they’re practicing for a runway.” 

Well.  I’m sure that cleared things RIGHT up for Mike.  How he kept a straight face through that, and THEN transitioned to the intended direction of that discussion is beyond me. 

And what girls does he know who are ‘practicing for a runway’ and why does he even know what that means?!

~hm

5 Comments on “Mars and Venus, According to Ethan-8yr”

1
Shelley
May 31st, 2008
8:42 pm

I understand your pain! My husband was very slow in the “talk” area for each of the (4) boys. However when it came to Ella (our youngest) he sent us to Destin, FL for 2 days away for quiet time/beach time/talk time, could it be because it was his “little girl”?
However we lived to tell about it, or should I say lived to “talk” about it!

2
Karla
June 1st, 2008
4:49 am

Oh they grow up way too fast, don’t they? Tell Mike that Thomas could use some of his expert, fatherly advice when Matthew (who will be 6 soon) needs to hear the “talk.”

BTW, how was your road-trip? I was praying for y’all.

Hugs!

3
Shalee
June 2nd, 2008
2:51 pm

Mr. Right and I have an agreement that I’ll talk to The Girl about the inner working of the body and how to handle all the emotions/mess/need for chocolate and he’ll talk to The Boy about boy stuff. It makes sense that we each talk to them about what we know.

However, we’re going a step further when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex and dating. Not only will Mr. Right talk to The Boy about how to handle himself and what is proper or not, I’ll talk to him about what might be going on in the mind of the girl and the crap they’ll throw his way and how to handle them because I know girls. We’ll reverse it with The Girl too because it really helps to have both perspective on things when the time comes.

Yay for Mike!

4
Lynn
June 9th, 2008
7:01 pm

Hi, I just found your blog and have to say that your stories are really charming. I can totally imagine your son and husband during this exchange…too funny! I am not looking forward to this day when it comes. I think I cried when my mom talked to me about those things because I was so uncomfortable! I am glad that your husband finally took care of it!
-Lynn

5
Holy Mama! » From The Depths…
February 25th, 2011
1:39 pm

[...] go away and shhhh.”  A couple years ago,  I broke the No Nag rule for this subject and made Mike do it once and the results of his effort still crack me up.  (if you click and read that, you  might wonder if I ever asked Mike to do it [...]

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