Wednesday, June 4th 2008
The Middle Brother

This morning Ethan-8yr and Caden-4yr collided in the hallway.  I couldn’t see it, since they were around the corner, but I could certainly hear it.  It was clear that Caden-4yr had been the one who got hurt.  He’s pretty tough, so his yelping in pain got Ethan-8yr’s attention very quickly. 

“I’m sorry, Caden-4yr! It was an accident!” 

Pause.  

“Here, why don’t you punch me in the Twinkle Spot?” 

Which made me think….well.  Maybe Mike forgot to use anatomically correct words in his talk the other day… 

And while I considered this I heard Caden-4yr say, “Well. Okay!”

And I stopped pondering the vocabulary of my children and then shrieked at them to stop, and then somewhat calmly explained that you NEVER invite someone to punch you in the Twinkle Spot (this needs to be said?), or anywhere else for that matter. Then I outlined how it is better to reduce the total number of injuries, accidental or otherwise, than to simply make all the injuries EQUAL among them.  And I forgot to correct the vocabulary and didn’t give it a second thought  until right this moment.  I suspect I’ll have a chance to get around to that tomorrow.  

Seth-2yr has had a fever and a sore throat.  He’s moped and been miserable all day.  So tonight I was VERY surprised to hear him laughing hysterically.  He was in the bathtub with Caden-4yr, who was screaming “MooooOOOOoom!”  Interesting combination of very loud, conflicting noises coming from that bathtub.  One brother totally deliriously joyful, and another panicked and needing help. 

I ran in and found Seth-2yr, laughing harder than perhaps he’s ever laughed, and Caden-4yr – a stricken look of horror on his face. 

He was covered in vomit.

“Mom.  Look what Seth-2yr did! It is uh-skuss-ting.  I am uh-skuss-ting.”

“Oh! No.  You are not disgusting.  Um. You just have a lot of throw up on you.”  Riiiight. Realizing how ridiculous those statements were, and how suddenly thankful I was that i have an almost nonexistent sense of smell, I just covered my face so Caden-4yr wouldn’t see me smile. 

Then we both came to our senses and started washing him off.  Well, not Seth-2yr.  He laughed and pointed, and tried to re-enact the moment of drama in case I had somehow missed the greatness of what had transpired.   

Poor Caden-4yr.  He got smashed in a hallway collision, coated in Projectile Style Sick, and he didn’t even get the consolation prize of punching anyone’s private parts.       

~hm

11 Comments on “The Middle Brother”

1
Jeana
June 4th, 2008
11:37 am

I love it when you write something. :-)

Kudos on the no-smell thing. I’ve got a really strong sense of smell, which is great for tracking down dirty diapers and no so great in those situations like the one you describe. Ugh.

2
LaLa
June 4th, 2008
12:04 pm

That’s definitely one situation when having a slow sniffer is a good thing!

3
Lisa B @ simply His
June 4th, 2008
1:36 pm

Hey – at least they were already in the tub when he was puked on :) Not far to go to wash it off! Great writing, but I’m sure it’s due to your inspiration :D

4
emily
June 4th, 2008
4:28 pm

i think this must be the truest summation of what having 3 little boys is like.

5
Shalee
June 4th, 2008
4:40 pm

Poor kid. That will come up again in therapy.

It’s tough being the middle child (from what I hear. I wouldn’t really know because I was too busy being the spoiled baby. Surprised? I think not.)

6
Karla
June 4th, 2008
11:10 pm

Life with boys ~ never a dull moment. Wish you were closer so we could get our SIX boys together. Okay, make that EIGHT boys. I forgot about Thomas and Mike. LOL

7
JIll
June 5th, 2008
2:05 am

Private parts?….Don’t you mean “Twinkle Spot” This is why we shouldn’t let men do these things without supervision :)

8
stacey
June 6th, 2008
4:47 pm

Those poor middle guys! They have it rough don’t they?

9
Tonya @ A Day in the Life of a MaMa
June 8th, 2008
2:47 am

Haha I’m still laughing about the Twinkle Spot. Now that is one I’ve never heard before :)

10
Grim Reality Girl
June 9th, 2008
8:35 pm

You kill me. Twinkle Spot? That is way too funny. I can attest — being the middle child is often the vomited on position. Sorry he is learning this so young!

11
Lorie
July 27th, 2008
4:50 am

Kelsey,

Hi. I have some relatively bad news. Apparently grown men also subscribe to the “all injuries should be equal” philosophy; I think it’s inborn. My husband got into a fight with his younger brother (his brother is a returned soldier from Iraq after 2 tours and is having trouble adjusting- he flipped a switch somewhere that night and hit my husband for no reason- pretty scary at the time).

Anyway, after his brother hit him, my husband would not quit until his brother had equal but preferably MORE injuries than he did. Until that point was reached, the fight was not over, even though we had separated them.

I talked to my husband about this the next day, and it is simply his belief that whoever does the hitting first should really expect to get an equal but probably greater number of injuries in return. No debate, no questions asked, it is simply the way it is. Maybe men know this rule in regards to each other? I know the women during this situation didn’t think that way: we thought once we separated them it was over. Believe me; it was not.

So good luck. Maybe this concept of equal injuries is an unwritten man code that is inprinted in their DNA. I don’t know, but I learned something about men and about my husband that weekend. We should do our best to avoid fights, because if he gets hit, whoever hit him better knock him out because they are about to get stomped.

Lorie

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