Archive for December, 2008


Club 17, December

December 17th, 2008 at 3:15 am » Comments (12)

i know! you have a thousand things to do because it’s DECEMBER 17, but just make a quick little addition to the to-do list.  Feel around and make sure you’re lumpless, as you should every month.  It’s a BSE (breast self exam), and it’s THAT quick.     For doing so, and leaving a comment on this post, you’re eligible for an EXTRA lovely prize, just because it’s gifty season, and you were so together you stayed with me even now when you’re so busy. i’m busy!  can you tell?!  does it sound like i’m not even slowing down to breathe or think or edit because I’m NOT there just isn’t time!   


Was that the longest, silent drumroll ever?

December 3rd, 2008 at 4:41 am » Comments (6)

Yeah, okay, SORRY!  I disappeared.  I’ll get to that.  (And a fantastic husband story. No – not a ‘fantastic husband’ story. A fantastic story about the husband. Not that he isn’t.)

Club 17 Winner!   Tiff! (and go visit her, say hi, and vote for her precious niece “Bella” who is having a bit of a rough time to put it mildly)

Honorable kudos to Tracye  for joining in for the first time!

***

So I always take my computer when we go out of town. But I didn’t. And I didn’t miss it. Then…. I just didn’t really turn it on for a few days when we finally got home, either. My online life stalled. To be fair, it had been sputtering a lot lately anyway, but you’ve probably noticed.

A peek into a Mars/Venus marriage incident:

Mike came into the bedroom last night where I was reading and said, “Um… do you ever know that something happened, and you SHOULD have said something, but then you DIDN’T say something…. and um…?” At which point, I’m trying to decide if this is a bizarre preamble to why he’s mad at me for something he’s only just now about to tell me about. But no. It’s much better than that.

He went to get his hair cut. The stylist very quickly combed through and buzzered off the excess of his right eyebrow. This was a bit of a surprise for him. And then the hair cut continued.

When Mike left, the left eyebrow… had been left untouched.

My mouth was HANGING OPEN by this point. “MIKE! How in the world did you not say anything?!”

And the answer was adorable. Mind boggling. But adorable. “I guess I thought that the left eyebrow was probably fine, and that was why it got left as-is.”

FYI, the left eyebrow mighta ‘been fine’ except the newly buzzered, sleek right eyebrow made it look like a long haired chihuahua by comparison. And a quick glance into the big mirror at the hair place… probably woulda cleared that RIGHT on up.

And can you imagine going to get a manicure (not me, i hate them, but go with me here) and the person just does one hand? And you assume that your other hand must look great already, and don’t say anything?! GAH! NO! Of course you can’t imagine that, because you are a woman and we would not ever in a million years think! like! that!

Y’ALL! I just don’t GET men sometimes! As if that isn’t bizarre enough…. he was TOO BUSY to go back today and say, “Excuse me. Symmetry would be appreciated.”

I know he’s a busy guy. But there is no meeting that i would not cancel in a heartbeat so that i would be at the salon when the doors opened. Priorities!

How can it possibly be more important to hold appointments with clients when your fur is off kilter like that? You know that every one of the women in those appointments, at least subconsciously, was going, “Hmmm. I don’t know about this guy. Something just seems…. off balance … about him…. what is it…? i should probably figure it out before we let him handle our life savings…” BUT THAT’S JUST ME. I’m sure.

I happen to have the world’s most observant mother. She would have taken one look at him and thought, “Huh. He has one groomed eyebrow and one not,” then invented a myriad of entertaining theories to explain it, and then called LaLa and myself to explain about the asymmetrical financial planner she’d met that day. We would have voted on which of her theories explained it because we do that kind of thing (and y’all – not one of us would have assumed the guy walked out KNOWINGLY AND WILLINGLY, oddly convinced that one eyebrow JUST DIDN’T NEED IT. GAH!!! That GETS me!) – and then we all would have agreed she would have been right to walk away and find another financial planner.

Which is insane. Mike is brilliant at what he does. BRILL. IANT. Not even to be questioned. Furthermore, he dresses himself and coordinates ties with shirts all on his own. I am not the sort of wife who does that stuff. Not necessary. He’s clean, dresses well, and he even has a sense of style to him that leads one to believe that he has got the basics down and then some.

But the wonky eyebrows! The eyebrows cast all sorts of doubts that he just doesn’t deserve!

I considered wearing makeup on just one side of my face to demonstrate my point. I didn’t follow through, because it would be pointless to go to the trouble for any woman. Any woman at all would get that absurdity from half a mile away.

But Mike, sweet and presently unbalanced, Mike – probably wouldn’t even notice, much less get my point.

I know. I’m taking him to the salon myself first thing in the morning if I have to. Eyebrow Intervention, scheduled. I’ll keep you updated.