Monday, October 19th 2009
Getting the Bugs Out

I have a favorite car wash.  It’s nothing special. Just a place where there are bays where you wash your own, and one drive-through gas station style car wash.  I like it because there are never very many people there.  It doesn’t really do a great JOB in the cleanliness department, which may be why there aren’t ever very many people.  Either way, it doesn’t matter to me.

Mom (and often known as J-Mom), owner of new sparkly car, asked me to show her location of Favorite Car Wash. We go, and she pulls in behind automatic gas station style car wash area since another car is inside, already starting the rinse cycle. “Oh, there’s a ‘Bug Wand.’” She reads off the helpful sign labeling a big squeegee in a bucket of pink liquid.

“Uh huh,” I say, just as helpfully.

“So what’s that for?”

I launch into a description of the merits of pre-scrubbing bug guts with pink juice and how it’s particularly necessary after a long Texas road trip.  Which she has just made.

As only a mother can, she raises her eyebrows over the top rim of her sunglasses until I say, “oh! You’d like me to do that…? Right. Well then. Thought you wanted a description…” and my voice trailed off as I got out of car and made my way to the bucket of pink juice.

The bucket of pink juice is revolting. I’ve used it before, and I know what I’m dealing with here. The last time, the pink liquid RAN. DOWN. MY. ARM.  It’s pink. It is heavily fragranced in order to disguise the odor of bug guts, and oh yeah there are Lots of Dead Bug Parts floating within.

I carefully lift Wand from bucket, taking care not to let liquid make a break for my armpit again. Head to front of new and sparkly car and get BLASTED from behind as the car already in the carwash reaches a particularly wet part of the cycle and a whole lotta that water comes straight out of there and all over me.

We live in West Texas, where the wind is REALLY strong.  People four blocks away were getting lightly misted and not knowing the source — and me standing two feet from the entrance during Power Rinse was really just asking for trouble.  I scrub bug guts dutifully and as fast as possible, partly because of the whole Outdoor Shower thing, and partly because I am familiar with this car wash, and I want to be back in car before the soapy foam stuff starts falling from the sky.  It’s tricolored, and smells of many kinds of fruit.  I hate fruit. Real fruit, fake fruit, and real or fake fruit smells. Gross.

I make whiny faces at my mother through the windshield, finish scrubbing, replace Bug Wand in nasty bucket of pink juice and get back into car soaked and laughing, and safely before fruit fumes invade.  Altogether a success. No pink liquid (with bug shaped chunks) on my person and grateful J-Mom eyebrows over the top of her sunglasses.

Anyway, I owed her. She stomps spiders for me.


3 Comments on “Getting the Bugs Out”

October 20th, 2009
12:37 am

I wasn’t so sure about this until you mentioned the spiders. That seems like a fair trade.

Lynnette Bonner
October 21st, 2009
11:36 pm

What a dutiful daughter you are! :)

November 27th, 2009
4:06 am

Too funny!

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