Friday, December 11th 2009
Define please! “Intracoastal Handshake”

So I desperately needed to observe kids in classrooms, as mentioned yesterday. And the stairs are still there, preventing easy access, and the crutches are still here – much as i hate them – and so the dilemma continued. Mom suggested Mike carry me up the steps.

I laughed. I protested. Mike put on a way too dramatic husky voice and said he could carry me up those steps with just one hand. I think that sealed the deal. Wouldn’t it for you? Funny. Cute.

I tried to wait until no one was around. When parents came close, I stalled. I made sure he wasn’t going to smush my knee. He did well. Although he did need both hands, and it probably took a lot more effort than he let on. He scooped me up and delivered me to the top of the stairs. I kissed him, thanked him, and asked why he wasn’t leaving. He said, “I’m walking you to the classroom,” with a ‘Duh!’ expression. Isn’t that sweet? That hasn’t happened since high school. Thanks, honey.

Only later did Mom tell me she’d watched the whole thing and taken pictures from the car.  Funny. Cute.

It was a sweet moment in the day. Not so sweet was when I had my stitches removed from my knee. That shouldn’t hurt, but during surgery they cover the wounds with these little steri strips that are apparently coated in superglue. The nurse was crazy-rough in her attempts to get them off, but in all fairness – if she wasn’t, they wouldn’t have budged.

Just before this, in the waiting room, Mom and I were sitting next to one another with our backs to a couple. The man told his wife, “You need to put a bunch of hundred dollar bills in your purse.”   I felt, rather than saw, Mom’s radar go off. We leaned closer to hear the rest of this conversation.  ”You know,” he continued, “for intracoastal handshakes.”

Mom and I looked at one another. She mouthed, “WHAT?” and suggested I text to her what sort of handshake he had said, because she didn’t understand. She actually mimed a handshake when she requested this. I laughed and shook my head and didn’t tell her until we were back awaiting the painful stitch remover lady.  She said we should ask Mike. “What’s an intracoastal handshake and why would you need a purseful of hundred dollar bills for them?” we wondered.

When, really, I should have been wondering, “hey, Mom, if that lady comes in here and slowly RIPS OFF MY FLESH, will you help me make a break for it?”

But we still don’t know what that guy meant by ‘intracoastal handshake’, and neither does Mike (financial expert guy), and neither does Google.  Any ideas, y’all?

I’m hoping if none of y’all know, then one day a nice Googler will find this, take pity on me, and define it in the comment section.

It’s the reverse of what has happened with this post. LOADS of y’all still come here and find out (thanks to my sister) how to correctly pronounce a certain word.

*If that is somehow an offensive phrase, then someone PLEASE TELL ME ASAP. I did that once – had a really, um, crude term in a title once and had NO IDEA until a friend of my sister’s pointed it out.


1 Comment on “Define please! “Intracoastal Handshake””

December 27th, 2009
2:24 pm

What came to my mind first with the “Intracoastal handshake” was that sly way of giving someone a tip in a handshake like Richard in Friends. And if that was what he was talking about (which it probably wasn’t) I really want to know these people who are handing out $100 tips!

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