Friday, April 16th 2010
Not the Mom of the Week.

okay, so I disappeared for awhile. and I’m not really back. I’m in a funk. i’ll give you the highlights and then you’ll say, “oooh. yeah, that’s crazy. go away back to where you’re hiding and come back later.”

Monday Seth-4yr went on a field trip and even though I am way overprotective and always go on those things, I didn’t. Because I was busy. And he got his hand stuck in an antique corn sheller. I don’t know what that looks like, and google images has a lot of pictures that look nothing like one another. It was rusty and spiky, from what I hear. And it ate my baby’s hand. And I was not there.

The school called Mike – after the really great EMT medical type parents who WERE in attendance – took care of Seth-4yr and requested their buddies deliver an ice pack. So an ambulance came. To deliver an ice pack. And I was NOT. THERE.

I’m having trouble with that. Can you tell?

Mike took him to a clinic, and I met him there, and there were x-rays and he’s fine. His hand was bruised and swollen, mangled and crushed,  and covered in cuts but otherwise fine.

A couple of days ago my mom asked Seth-4yr what he had learned from this experience and he loudly, cheerfully sang, “NOTHING!!!”

And… I’m pretty much over this. That was Monday. And he’s all right. And I need to vow to be there next time, and just move on.

But last night…. last night was not good. I’m still getting hate mail from the time I wrote about spanking Caden-6yr in a restaurant in Tucumcari. And that was NOTHING compared to this.

I should preface this with a brief explanation that although I am quite small – you do not want to meet me in a dark alley. For a lot of reasons, various professionals and I have managed to turn me into a physically tough little fighting machine if the need should ever arise – and there have been reasons to need this ability. So you wouldn’t know it to look at me, but it’s there. Hiding really well under my costume of petite, harmless looking, sometimes frumpy mom-ishness.

So last night I am getting ready to take Caden-6yr and Seth-4yr to the gym with me. We are the only ones home. Caden-6yr has been wild and crazy, and thus instructed to chill it on down a notch. Since the kids are not supposed to hang out in the closet Mike and I share (that’s where we keep the nerf swords, shut it, that really is the reason why), and because I can hear Seth-4yr talking in Caden-6yr’s bedroom, I’m very sure both boys are in Caden-6yr’s room. However. Someone runs at me fast from the closet area and wraps arms around me hard. From behind.

And I think I know where everyone in the house is.

And I have been ridiculously well trained in this scenario.

And I always wondered if I’d remember what to do.

And I didn’t.

Because it happened so fast, there really wasn’t any ‘remembering’ to it. It just happened.

I flung off the arms that were around me, stood on my left foot and hooked my right leg behind me and twirled pretty fast – flinging my would-be attacker across the kitchen.

But of course it was Caden-6yr.

Who just wanted a hug and hadn’t seen that reaction coming any more than I did.

It was awful. And then I didn’t even have the sense to scoop him up and apologize. I was all, “WHAT WAS THAT?!” Because there was serious adrenaline going and it was not yet clear (somehow) that the baby just wanted a hug and was being kinda wild and silly but there’s not a thing wrong with that, he’s only six, and this is his very safe home, and hello? i’m his mommy. And mommies do not do crap like that. Ahhh, but I did.

Eventually we sat on the couch and he cried, and I cried and I tried to explain how that had possibly come to be, and what unforeseeable (to me) combination of factors had led up to that particular incident, but I don’t know that any of it mattered. If I’d known it was him, of course that wouldn’t have happened. I’m hoping he believes that. He doesn’t understand the whole mom is a secret ninja thing, or why that is – and I don’t want him to. After it was all over – all the talking and crying and flinging of innocent children – I asked if he was okay.

And he looked at me with giant, tear-filled blue eyes and said, “I just can’t stop thinking about what you did to me.”

I know what he means.

Feel like worst mom ever.

I should have waited until I could write this and somehow have a better ending. usually, that’s what I’d do.

I don’t know that I’d ever write again, though. That day might not come.

(Caden-6yr, if you ever read this one day, I’m very sorry.)

~hm

6 Comments on “Not the Mom of the Week.”

1
Becky
April 17th, 2010
8:14 am

Aww – I’m so sorry. If It makes you feel any better – more than once my boy has startled me and I’ve popped him on accident – turning to quick to see or actually, on reflex, hitting out toward whatever is touching me that shouldn’t be. So you aren’t alone – even though we don’t all share your ninja-like abilities – we do all hurt our kids from time to time – physically or emotionally. It happens. You do your best and they know you love them and everyone moves on.

2
Elaina
April 17th, 2010
9:53 pm

I don’t have kids and all…so maybe this will sound dumb but I get the secret ninja thing though I’m not sure if it’s for the same reasons. That said, I also know that kids are amazingly resilient when they’re raised with parents who love them. My guess is, Seth 6yr will grow up and one day tell that story as this funny thing that happened to him this one time.

Yes. It’s true, embarrassing for you. However comma he will probably be the coolest of all his friends for having a secret ninja mom. I know it’s easier said then done, but don’t worry. He’ll be okay. He knows you love him.

P.S. I think you were right not to go into why. And also, he really will be okay.

3
Elaina
April 17th, 2010
9:54 pm

And also, I just realized I said Seth and not Caden. Doh!

4
Heather
April 18th, 2010
8:39 pm

I’m so sorry you’ve had a rough week… Ugh! If it helps at all, I’ll confess to also having a six year old that likes to sneak up on me. It hasn’t always ended without tears either… But honestly, I try to salve my conscience with the knowledge that this is God’s way of teaching boys not to sneak up on women and be creepy! LOL… That’s the ultimate lesson here. ;)

5
Holy Mama! » From the Floor…
April 19th, 2010
2:34 pm

[...] nothing wrong. I mean, sure, that whole incident could really just be deleted, Divine Style, and that would be good. By the way, God NEVER does that [...]

6
Holy Mama! » Point A to Point B at Dawn
January 6th, 2011
10:01 am

[...] can take away any weapon and she tends to overreact with the punching and the kicking, and sadly no one is safe. Also. The third person thing she’s doing  is [...]

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