Sunday, May 16th 2010
A Fish, An Ice Cream Truck, and a Hair Dryer

I dreamed I got a large-ish tattoo on right butt area. As if I’d ever tattoo my butt. Hello? Subconscious? What were you thinking? But it gets worse.

It was the word “janitor” in lower case letters (in an elementary school kid handwriting style font) – and the outline of a big fish, twisting its body as if it were jumping in the air. or gasping, after having been caught. The whole thing was the size of my hand.

i’m not trying to make sense of this. i refuse.

Today there’s church, three baseball games, and a trip to the airport with my mother. so of course i’m in bed writing about oversized tattoos that i thankfully do not have, now that I’m awake. “janitor” was written in the same kind of print my grandmother’s bible had – not the font – the size. Large Print Text for the vision-impaired. Like a butt needs that.  Ah! It was probably a reaction to the fine-print tattoo on this guy (one I ended up plastered against in a Petsmart in a much too personal way.) Well thanks for getting right on that issue, subconscious. That was 2 1/2 yrs ago.

Am good with time management like that. Moving along.

The other day Caden-6yr told me he had made a mistake at school. He didn’t use those words. But his face indicated he knew he had made a mistake at school. He said, “I told my class why you don’t let me get ice cream from the ice cream truck. And they LAUGHED.”

I was driving and banged my nose on the steering wheel. Because I laughed at him, too. And I have a depth perception issue. “Ooooh. Sorry. But I bet some of your friends’ moms won’t let them get ice cream either, because the driver could be a bad guy and scoop you into the ice cream truck and be gone real fast and they don’t want that to happen and they’re all overprotective mommies, too, right?”

“No. I asked. No one else’s mother is like that.”

“Oh. Well. Don’t tell them that thing I do with the hair dryer either. That’s not normal.”

“It’s not?”

“It is for me, not for them.”

(I’m chronically cold and a few times a day I spend quality time with the hair dryer and dry already dry hair – follicle damage – I know! – and stick it up my shirt and whatever, it works for a little while.)

“So would it embarrass you if I told them?” Caden-6yr had a little half smile going on.

“Gosh, no. It would embarrass YOU. That’s why I’m telling you.”

“OH. YES. THANK YOU. Why didn’t you tell me that you’re the only mom who won’t let me get ice cream from the ice cream truck because THAT embarrassed me.”

“I did not poll the other mommies and know that I was the only mean, overprotective mommy who is suspicious of ice cream trucks.”

There was a long pause from the backseat.

And then he said, “Well. We shoulda known.”


4 Comments on “A Fish, An Ice Cream Truck, and a Hair Dryer”

crickl's nest
May 16th, 2010
3:40 pm

Ice cream trucks around here are really icky, iffy and weird….and their music players are all in kind of a slow motion whiningly scary mode…like a scary movie. Are yours like that too or is it just my area?

My husband mentioned tattoos as a sermon illustration this morning, talking about 1 cor 10 about being considerate of your brother when expressing your freedom. He was trying to pick something common that wasn’t so controversial to make a point, but oh, the tattoo talks we had afterwards! lol

Nice dream though…hilarious.

May 17th, 2010
8:52 am

That’s so funny! You always brighten my day with your cheery-goofiness. I wish I was so confident. :o )

May 17th, 2010
8:59 am

I just had to follow the link and find out about this Petsmart story.
LOL. You’re the stuff cartoons are made of. Thanks for sharing that with us.
Why do I walk around thinking I’m the only one who has embarrassing things happen to me?

Thank you God for Holy Mama’s blog.

May 17th, 2010
10:11 am

My kids (5 & 3 yo) don’t yet know that the truck sells ice cream. They think it just drives around playing music for our entertainment. How much longer do you think I can get away with that?

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