Wednesday, May 26th 2010
Waxing On About Nothing. That’s What We Do Here.

I’m one of those legalistic, irritating people who would prefer that ALL people on board EVERY SINGLE FLIGHT stop what they’re doing and listen to the flight attendant’s required safety talk.  Every single time.

Sure. We all know it already. But still. Everyone should just listen and pay attention every single time because that is the right thing to do. In the event of disaster, wouldn’t we all be a lot more confident in our fellow passengers if we’d known everyone had, you know, cared about the safety procedures or at least pretended to care?

I refuse to give details on this, and am intentionally going for REAL VAGUE and you are WELCOME for that. My vagueness is a special little gift from me to you.

There is one other time – not on an aircraft –  that EVERY SINGLE TIME you should read all the written materials no matter how much you think you know and you couldn’t possibly forget THAT little ohmygoshsocrucialand important detail and pshaaw! Don’t be silly I know what to do and where all the emergency exits are and what to do with the dangling yellow oxygen mask…?

Right.

And that time – the time where you legalistically read every single phrase on the printed materials ANYWAY?

That is any time you might find yourself with some piping hot wax. Preferably, BEFORE the wax is hot.

Failure to heed this warning could easily lead to screaming chaotically for a dangling yellow oxygen mask and wishing in vain that you were seated in an emergency exit row, and oh yeah, THERE IS NONE.

Or, if you’re like me,  you’ll hold your breath until you almost pass out and then laugh uncontrollably at your own stupidity.

Because that works, too, and by this point there really aren’t any other more attractive options.


~hm

2 Comments on “Waxing On About Nothing. That’s What We Do Here.”

1
Kimberley
May 27th, 2010
12:07 am

Who new 15 seconds in the mic would be long enough to heat it to skin scalding temperatures and within .1 seconds of wax touching skin you will be running to your momma with your thumb in your mouth!
Needless to say the directions are now my best friend!

2
Michele
May 27th, 2010
12:12 am

Yeah, that could be bad. T_T
The only time I mess with the waxing is when I feel like everyone is thoroughly tired of seeing my mustache. When my kids get older, I might wax more often so they don’t have to be ashamed of me.
But nothing ever inspires me to bother with my leg hair. By the time I give in and try to shave and actually wear shorts, everyone else already has a great tan going on and I’m so far behind that it would be too humiliating to try.

2 Kudos for trying to wax!

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