Baseball season is over, for now, and we’re on to flag football. This is good for a few reasons:
1. I understand and love football.
2. Baseball is confusing.
3. Although I totally tried and even understood the scoring a little by the end.
4. I tried too hard actually, and one day decided that I should learn to eat sunflower seeds with the shells on since that is somehow integral to the heart of baseball.
5. I almost died. Forget the heart of baseball, and forget ever doing that again. Ended up with five or six seeds WITH shells stuck in throat. Panicked. Forgot to spit. Or something. Lovely.
6. This brilliant idea came to me while I was in the garage, alone, one day, as I walked past the bird food.
7. Do you know what sort of flavoring is used for the sunflower seeds in bird food?
8. Dirt.
9. No one cleans those seeds and salts them because they are for birds.
10. Those seeds are not intended for impulsive, well meaning, ‘let’s understand the heart of baseball’ sorts of people.
11. All you people who can stick sunflower seeds in your mouth, spit out the shells, not choke to death, AND understand the scoreboard? Good for you. I will never be you. I am officially done trying.
It’s easier to recognize them...
12:04 am
I’m not a baseball fan either.
2 Kudos for trying to get the full experience by chewing the sunflower seeds (sorry you choked)!
6:21 pm
I would like to lodge a protest.
My wife, the holy MiMi, said I should read my daughter’s blog, as it started with a reference to me. Me, the innocent holy Father to the holy Mama. (and my birthday fell on Good Friday once, making me almost a Saint, so don’t any of you go getting on your high horse about my holy Father reference).
So – the undies in the street caper was not my fault. The holy Mother and I did not raise a daughter that would refuse to pick up a dead mouse out in the garage, as in our recent visit, but would pick up some guy’s dirty underwear found out in the street. Anyone that knows Mike would know that they were not his.
She got that particular habit somewhere else. And that six-year old missing some underwear? Try looking out in the streets, Mom.
(but I did find a nice prehistoric bolt lying in the Home Depot parking lot!)
6:45 pm
I think Holy Mama and Holy Paw Paw should have a combined blog! Really! What a fun read! It would be Holy Wittiness X 2.