Beyond the OH MY GOSH I haven’t planned a summer saga – which continues for a  variety of reasons even though summer has already gotten off to a roaring start and I’m still lamenting its unplannedness…. there’s the fall. Because surely I should now worry about the fall.

The fall is too planned. For the first time ever I will have all children in school morning til afternoon, five days a week. My baaaaaabies.  Busy all day without me there hovering and overprotecting? That’s what I DO. How to function without them, and without all of that?!

What will save me fro doing too much laundry, or cleaning, or going to Target every day? SOMETHING must save me from that.

I could write.

I SHOULD write.

I could go back to school. But… meh. I’d go back for horticulture, but anything else bores me to pieces. It does irritate me that I never finished. I tried once, and went to night classes that were ridiculously too easy and then I got pregnant and  the instructors allowed people to bring FOOD into class and I was constantly nauseous and couldn’t stand any food smells and if you even MENTIONED an Italian dish I would just heave. I was a joy in class. And the school was located behind an Italian restaurant so everyone always brought Italian. So I quit school. Again.  Because of noodles.  (It was years before i could handle anything Italian.)

I could work. Although I am seriously unqualified for pretty much anything. Not just as a result of my not finishing college, but also the many years off, plus my lackluster previous work experience. If anyone ever needs a truly dreadful waitress, though, I am SO IN. I can drop food on you and trip over you multiple times in one evening and STILL forget to bring you your check. While sober and actually, you know, trying.

Okay, so I’ll probably write.

When I’m not at Target.

(This town does not have a Nordstrom, ‘kay?)

special thanks to Nina, various e-mailers,  and Michele.  Michele, no one rides in to  defend me as often or as enthusiastically as you do. No idea why you feel so compelled, but it cracks me up and I’m grateful.