Wednesday, July 28th 2010
The Burrito Guy

I had yet another weird conversation with the Burrito Guy yesterday. It’s the only kind we have. Note: I ADORE the Burrito Guy. Enough that I should probably ask him his name and stop thinking of him as the Burrito Guy.

I think I get on his nerves. He always asks if I work in a bank. I have no idea why. I’m usually wearing a t shirt from Target and running shorts. But I do look like a lot of people – it’s just one of those faces everyone thinks they know. When I ask him why he always asks me that, he just shrugs.

And when Burrito Guy asks if I want hot sauce, I always smile and say, “no thank you.”  That is NOT what the Burrito Guy wants to hear. It’s also not what the Burrito Guy’s Wife wants to hear. One day I said that to her and she rolled her eyes and gave me (free) chips and hot sauce and made me eat it right there in the drive thru — with people in big trucks behind me waiting — in order to forcefully change my mind.

I about died. It was hot, that hot sauce, and I do not like hot which is why I’m all “NO THANK YOU” and when I say that, hello? I KINDA TOTALLY MEAN IT. Even if it is a free of charge throat burn, I’d rather pass.

But I smiled and thanked her and tried not to breathe fire and be polite but that was mainly because at that point I was somewhat afraid of her. And she’s very sweet, if not pushy, and I like her. My grandmother was like that with food, too. You’d say ‘no thank you’ and then she’d sweetly but firmly force-feed something until you agreed you really liked it and did indeed want it and were thanking her for the suggestion.

The Burrito Place is bright blue and yellow and  far away, but worth the drive. A friend of mine told me about them. I’ve been a fan ever since. Before the building was bright blue and yellow, it was covered in thick layers of deeply chipped and peeling paint in all sorts of bright colors. I liked it better then. A baby shoe weights down the cord on the miniblinds at window #2. It’s a nice touch.

Yesterday I was at the first window and I told the Burrito Guy I was glad he was back.

“I never left,” he says. He always sounds grumpy, even though I don’t think he is. Or maybe he really is, but I just refuse to think so and I am REALLY annoying to him. But I don’t want to think so, so I don’t.

“Um, yeah? You sure did. There was a ‘gone on vacation’ sign in your window not too long ago.”

“Oh.” He shakes his head. “I’ll never go on vacation again.”

I laugh at him and he disappears. When he comes back, he says, “Where did you go?”

And that makes no sense. “I am not the one who went on vacation. YOU DID.”

“No! The day you came and you were hungry and you saw the sign. Where did you go? Sonic?” He huffs in disgust at this idea.

“Uh… I don’t remember. I probably just went home hungry and depressed that you weren’t here.”

He lets out a laugh that sounds like a bark and says, “Tell it to the mountain, girl!”

I have no idea what that means, but I laugh at him. I tell him I’m glad he went on vacation and I hope he had a nice time. In answer, he grunts.  He puts hot sauce in the bag even though I said, ‘no thank you’, and shoots me a look that says he expects me to like it. At least he isn’t forcing me to eat it while people wait. And at least I don’t have to go back to work at a bank.

I’m underdressed and not good with numbers.


6 Comments on “The Burrito Guy”

July 28th, 2010
3:29 pm

Charming story. I think I like the burrito guy too. I envisioned him to be kind of short and plumpish with a well tanned face, dark bushy mustache and eyebrows and a brown apron… Sort of like Mario from Mario Brothers, only not Italian, lol.

No one should ever be forced to eat hot sauce–or be foreced to waste it by throwing unwanted, unasked-for packages in the garbage later on.

July 28th, 2010
7:29 pm

So, since you’re a veggie kinda girl, I’m assuming that you get bean burritos there? I love bean burritos. Actually, I just love any kind of Mexican food with beans on it. Beans rock.

July 28th, 2010
10:43 pm

Geekwif, that may be the t-shirt for the day. I’m picturing a rock band of pinto beans with mohawks and ripped jeans with “Beans Rock” underneath in KISS font.

July 28th, 2010
11:06 pm

Knowing teens today, it would probably be a hot item, LaLa.

July 29th, 2010
9:04 am

Michele, your description is perfect but leave off the apron. and that was odd.

Geekwif, potato/egg/cheese and hold the hot sauce. Mmmmm.

LaLa… I’ve never explained the phrase “tshirt for the day.” one of us really should. (I know what my favorite one is!)

July 29th, 2010
8:53 pm

LaLa, that would be hilarious! And yes, if there is a story behind it one of you should definitely explain “t-shirt for the day”. Now I’m itching to know!

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