Saturday, August 21st 2010
Did You Hear The One About the Frog? (YES? Really? No, This is ANOTHER One.)

I’m talking to the frogs now.

I don’t even like talking to people.

It’s like that old Tom Hanks movie where he’s stranded somewhere (sorry, i forget movies) and he’s talking to a volleyball with a face. Am I making this up? What movie is this? I remember really disliking it. I also really disliked identifying with it this morning when I noticed I was talking to the frogs in the garage and telling them good morning. It is not the first time we’ve chatted, those frogs and I.  And that is not any better than talking to a volleyball. (It usually goes something like “Hi, how are you this morning? Don’t… no… don’t touch me… go that way… there’s a bug over there… yeah. That way. Go try it. Yuuuuum. Breakfast.)

There have been at least 3 Toad Relocations, not including the initial one in our flowerbed which I refuse to count for obvious reasons (relocation means NEW LOCATION, not ‘over there’).  I’ve actually lost count. I have no idea if it’s 3 or 4 or even 5 times they’ve been rounded up and released at a pond. The smallest number was probably 30, and the highest was probably 130. There is no shortage of FOGS as Seth-4yr calls them. Why we’re not relocating the ones in the garage who chat with me, I don’t know.  I can’t be too picky about the detals of this Constant Relocation Project since I refuse to touch them.

School was a huge success, despite my totally predictable maternal freakout on the kids’ first day. Last night Seth-4yr said, “Mommy. That yunch you made me? I yuvved it. It was YUMMY. That sandwich. Those vapes {grapes}. Wow, those vapes were good. The goldfish. It was all SO GOOD and I want that same yunch tomorrow. Can I please have it?”

I was so impressed with the sincerity, enthusiasm,  and the superb manners, that i hated to tell him that today would be a Saturday and maybe I could pack him that lunch on Monday. But I did. And he said, “It’s okay. I will remind you as soon as you wake up in the morning, just so you do not forget to make me that nice yunch for school.”

For me, school is okay I suppose. I can’t shake the “oh please I am too OLD to be doing this” feeling, but whatever. Maybe that’ll go away. I’m doing classes through a place that has a physical location here, but am doing it all online. I thought this was brilliant. No people. I’m not good with people. Ha HA! But, no. Now online classes have lots of online ‘discussion’ assignments where you have to INTERACT with people. Online. And yuck! I didn’t know that was part of the deal when I signed up! Y’all are the only people I like online!

Y’all say the most fascinating things in the comment sections, particularly lately. (It’s always far more interesting there than the post.) And a lot of you email me all kinds of things that have me laughing or crying or trying to figure (technical) things out. You tell me about brands, and products, and sites and stores and sales you think I’ll like. The sorts of jeans that might fit my butt. (Thank you.)  I’m amazed by the things you know and the things you share with me about your husbands and your kids, your faith, and your jobs. I’m always surprised to hear anyone actually bothers to read, and am just so touched whenever you email me and introduce yourselves – 4 of you just in the last week or so, which is way more than normal for those sorts of emails.  It always throws me off guard to get one of those, but in a good way. Not in an OH THERE’S A FOG BY MY FOOT kind of thrown off guard way.

Anyway. I think my point was, “I like you. It’s the other online people  from school  who scare me.”


5 Comments on “Did You Hear The One About the Frog? (YES? Really? No, This is ANOTHER One.)”

August 21st, 2010
6:51 pm

Wouldn’t it be an interesting world of FOGS could go online?

August 21st, 2010
6:51 pm

That’s supposed to be “IF FOGS could go online”. You know. As a supposition.

August 21st, 2010
10:21 pm

I’ve been thinking of school too. Problem is, I can go for something practical and my work will pay for part of it, or I can go for something I want to do and have to pay for it myself. So I do neither … for now. I hope you’re doing something you want to do. :)

And the online discussion thing? I agree. It’s just wrong. But as much as I hate to admit it, it’s still better than having to actually be in class with other people, interacting face to face. The nicest thing about talking with people online, I think, is that you can carefully craft everything you say before you say it. I still end up saying stupid things sometimes, but at least they’re a little less stupid than the things I might say if I spoke to someone in “real time” face to face.

August 24th, 2010
10:31 am

Geekwif… Hmm. What is it you want to do?

The online discussion thing is bad, but not nearly as bad as the online required class BLOG. You have got to be kidding me. Ick. Everyone posted their first blog entries which all read “this is so stupid. who blogs? who reads blogs? don’t those people have better stuff to do?”

and I wanted to write, “Um YEAH. But blogging is the stuff we do when we don’t FEEL LIKE DOING THE IMPORTANT STUFF like work and clean and cook and eat and raise kids and be upstanding moral citizens.” But that sounded dumb, so i didnt’. even if it is true.

August 24th, 2010
10:31 am

Castaway. Yup, he talked to a volleyball with a bloody hand print for a face. He cried when it finally floated off in the ocean.
The weirdest part of all that is that they started producing Wilson Volleyballs with the hand print face on them to sell in stores. LOL. Yeah…I wanted to buy one.

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