Thursday, October 28th 2010
I Do…. relapse.

Last Saturday afternoon I went to a beautiful wedding. And then I drove away and started drinking.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I’d quit the Diet Coke, right? Claimed sobriety, and all that. That was true. At the time. I was a former Diet Coke drinker. Not going back. Happy about it. Smug, even.

And then, Saturday… seeing those super young pretty people recite vows just sort of set off a massive WHERE’S MY ADDICTION-STYLE SECURITY BLANKET reflex.

There’s nothing wrong with marriage. I have no regrets. And these two people are lovely from all accounts. Okay, I’ve never met the bride but she was darling, and the groom I’ve met a couple of times and I’m sure he’ll be great at the whole marriage thing. Really.  They both will.

But I was still sitting there, thinking, “Dear LORD, they look like they’re fifteen. Do they REALLY know how hard this is going to be? Because marriage is HARD. Even great marriages. HARD. Did anybody really tell them….?” And I got all nervous for them and then jumped in car and headed for nearest drive thru with reputably oversized cups.

My sister called just as I got there and I whispered into my phone, “hi, hang on, I’m falling off the wagon,” and then I ordered a very large diet coke.

She was calling to tell me a long, elaborate, entertaining and romantic story of how someone she knew had just gotten engaged.  Right. At. That. Very. Moment.

I thought about going back for another diet coke.  I didn’t.

I’m into full disclosure around here when possible, so here we are. I’ve had a few diet cokes this week, but am not sneaking six packs into the house under my clothes or anything. No drinking in front of the children, and no diet coke on the home premises at all, ever.

I’ll stop. Again. I really will.  Tomorrow.

Oh man, that sounded lame, and in a thoroughly unintentional way.

Don’t tell me anything sweet or romantic or marriage related for awhile, ‘kay?

~hm

4 Comments on “I Do…. relapse.”

1
Geekwif
October 29th, 2010
4:43 pm

I think quitting drinking Coke must be at least as hard as quitting smoking. Not that I’ve ever smoked, but I can’t imagine it could be any more difficult than this.

2
Sara
November 1st, 2010
3:21 am

I’m trying to quit cherry coke and not having much luck with that. :( Do they have support groups for this in my part of the world? (I’m pretty sure they do in the US.) I actually do hide them at home sometimes, not out of denial but cause I don’t want to share! Ha ha ha. They’re hard to buy here.

3
Jessica
November 3rd, 2010
9:04 am

Oooh, girl! Marriage is the hardest thing and requires more than I ever imagined. Hubby & I are working on our 12th anniversary. If you can get through with a minor dependance on Diet Coke, I won’t judge. Shoot — I wouldn’t judge if you added a little rum to that coke every now and then.

4
Kelsey
November 3rd, 2010
9:33 am

Geekwif,
It’s November! You’re not quitting caffeine in November are you…?

Sara,
I’m such an ebabler, I’d mail you some if you wanted…. I used to have crunchy cheetoh cravings when I lived in Australia and they didn’t sell them there back then… it was so nice when someone would mail them to me!

Jessica,
congratulations! and thank you… I will seriously consider harder drinking in the future. :)

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