Tuesday, October 5th 2010
Lab Partner

If I waited around for gracefulness, I’d never get anything done. My style of ramming into doorframes and walls is partly bad depth perception, and partly (mainly) personality. Because I’ve always been this way, though, I’m pretty good at it. I smash into something, laugh, move on and forget about it before the bruise shows up.

I’ve wanted to take Duke  (the chocolate lab) for walks and runs, but he’s trained to walk on the left side, and he’s knee height and I didn’t think this was a good idea with the whole left knee still almost better kinda thing. So I haven’t. But today! Today I figured we were almost there.

Duke did well. He ran on the left and did not smash into me as he has been known to do. What I DID forget about was how I opened the door to the garage to get his leash and smashed the door into my forehead. Do you ever do that? Just swing open a door and not move far enough out of its way? I do that ALL. THE. TIME. My standard silent response is “I do not feel that pain,” and then promptly forget about it. I can do that. It’s real real helpful if you’re clumsy.

We ran a little ways and my head was hurting and I had no idea why. Then my left shin was killing me and I remembered the other night when I was mowing my mom’s lawn and the grass bag jumped off the back of the mower and then I got caught in the metal guide bar things on it. I tried to jump over it, but it was too late and I was always awful at hurdles anyway. Pretty blue and purple swollen tennis ball sized bruise.

The pounding of the running really didn’t help the throbbing head or shin. But, you know, if I wait until I’m suddenly graceful and relatively intact, I’ll never get to do anything. Like, EVER.

My sister is much the same way. Accident prone.  But I’m kinda quiet. And my sister is kinda NOT. LaLa will slam her forehead into something and wrinkle up her face and hold her head at an angle (I can SO picture this, I’ve seen it thousands of times. Really. Thousands. We are so clumsy).  And then she’ll suddenly shout, “OW!” and scare everyone in the house. And then we’ll all be sympathetic because whatever she did, it really REALLY looked like it hurt. And then a little time will pass and she’ll shout, “OW!” and scare us all to pieces again.  Repeat as necessary.

She has the very best ever head injury story*, so I’ll try to get her to tell it.  She’s away on a trip, but maybe when she gets back.

*there are “very best ever head injury stories”? ooooh yes. none of this run of the mill sort of ‘forget to get out of the way of a door’ sort of head injury. this particular story has teen angst and sound effects and a sequel.

~hm

6 Comments on “Lab Partner”

1
Geekwif
October 5th, 2010
3:12 pm

Can’t wait to hear LaLa’s story. My sweetie makes noise when he does something clumsy too, but his comes out more like an opera singer singing a high note – vibrato and all.

2
Laurie
October 6th, 2010
7:45 am

Smiling over here! I always have mystery bruises from crashing into things, too. Doesn’t even phase me anymore! : )

3
Kelsey
October 7th, 2010
9:43 am

Geekwif, I LOVE that description. He hits the high notes AND builds you bookshelves.

you too, Laurie? Fellow klutz? This morning I noticed my bruise had turned into a star shape. That’s not easy to do, I don’t think. The 5 points aren’t perfect, but there are 5 and they’re greenish yellow. The roundish star center is an unfortunate shade of brown.

4
LaLa
October 10th, 2010
8:16 pm

You know, visiting my quiet friend Susie I realized that I was her loud friend. And then I come back home to find you telling the world I’m both clumsy and real loud. Sigh. Oh well. I guess it’s true. Wait, which head injury story? There are several to choose from.

5
Kelsey
October 10th, 2010
10:49 pm

um…..? Lala? You didn’t KNOW?! Now I feel bad. I thought you knew. Oh dear.

There are several head injury stories with sound effects, teen angst, and sequels?! I need to hear them all. I’ve forgotten some, then. I meant the one in VV Mall, circa mid-late 80s.

6
Charlotte
October 15th, 2010
1:24 am

Ahh I love your blog. The more I read, the more I realize I’m not alone in this world (ie being so clumsy I’ve come to ignore that I’m so clumsy). Has your husband ever physically tried to move you out of the way for fear of you walking into someone else? Have you ever just about knocked over a mannequin in a clothing store? You must break some type of glass item probably about every two weeks like me :)

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