Friday, October 22nd 2010
Stinkbombs and Hot Tubs

Boys. BOYS. Ugh, they’re just so cute and strange and smart. Two recent moments that made me realize I just do NOT understand how they think:

The morning that I utterly failed to prevent my baby, Seth-4yr, from morphing into Seth-5yr, he and Caden-6yr were outside playing. It was early. Ethan-10yr casually mentioned his brothers were in the backyard “trying to figure out how to make a stinkbomb.”

“Oh. Well. What are they using?”

“Oh, just a whiffle ball, sand, and some dog poop.”

I do not know the components of a stinkbomb, but I’m thinking they were 0 for 3 there. But still. It woulda probably worked anyway. Gross.

I yelled for Mike to please grab the hand sanitizer and go have a man to boys discussion involving many repetitions of the word, “NO.”


The other day in the car, Caden-6yr decided he was going to thoroughly MESS with me.  He had it written all over his face.

He asked if we could get a hot tub.

I said, “Maybe when y’all are all older. Why?”

“I just want one.”

We were at a stop light. Just as it turned to green, I see him turn and give Ethan-10yr a look that said,Watch this. I’m going to make Mom FLIP OUT. Yes. He has that look. I don’t see it often, but that’s just because he is usually more careful of rearview mirrors.

“My friend Lindsey and I are going to get a hot tub when we’re older. We talked about it.”

“…? Uh… Do you mean… you and Lindsey are going to both get hot tubs when you’re older… or… you… and Lindsey…. are going to share a hot tub when you’re older?”

I needed clarification. Also? I instantly regretted using the word ‘share.’ It has such a positive connotation in our family. USUALLY. BUT. NOT THIS ONE TIME. NO.NO. NO.  But I couldn’t take it back and re-phrase. I was trying to be totally aware that this child was out to get me. I’d seen it on his face. Braced self for whatever came next. I just hadn’t seen THAT coming.  I was aiming for way casual and airy in my tone, so he wouldn’t know how well it was really going for him.  No fear, and all.

“Oh, we’re going to get one TOGETHER. When we’re older. We talked about it.”

Ethan-10yr looks WAY impressed. He does not do things like this. He is weird and infuriating and challenging, but in seriously different ways than this.

I’m wondering WHEN ARE THEY DISCUSSING THIS? THEY ARE IN FIRST GRADE. SHOULDN’T THEY BE TOO BUSY LEARNING OTHER STUFF THAT IS NOT THIS?  But I didn’t say anything. I was being SO breezy. Would NOT be baited. Not me.

Caden-6yr half smiled and shot a look at Ethan-10yr and said, “Do you have a … problem with that, Mom?”

What. A. Stinker.

“oooooh, no. This is something that you want to do when you’re older, so if it’s a problem we can talk about it then, right?”


Then he totally cracked up and I applauded self for not driving off the road.

Unbelievable. The baby is SIX.  What HAPPENED here?


3 Comments on “Stinkbombs and Hot Tubs”

October 22nd, 2010
11:46 pm

Um. This is the same child who knew at SIX MONTHS that it was super easy to get to you if he only pretended that absolutely nothing you did was funny. He’d laugh and smile at EVERYONE BUT YOU. I actually saw him turn away and hide a smile from you. AS A BABY.

So. Even though clearly we should not be surprised, that was definitely a… surprising conversation. For six.

October 25th, 2010
9:23 pm

I TOTALLY forgot he did that. It went on FOREVER.

Holy Mama! » Caden-6yr, Hands OFF the Ladies
January 31st, 2011
11:26 pm

[...] y’all remember when Caden-6yr wanted to get a hot tub with his friend, Lindsey? I do. I was reminded of that today, and not in a a good [...]

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