Saturday, December 11th 2010
Clean Underwear for Yife

Today I stood at the Laundry Table and folded clothes forever. It’s supposed to be a ‘breakfast table.’ But no one eats breakfast there because it is always covered in laundry and we’re all about saying it like it is around here, so we call it the Laundry Table.

While I stood there and folded, the boys were playing some sort of Wii game with tanks. Nothing realistic, very cartoon-y and nothing gory or bloody or graphic or anything else along those lines. Little red and blue tanks who shoot in unrealistic looking perforated lines across the screen. No people.  But shooting noises, which irritate me. And worse than that, the conversation of 3 boys that goes something like this:

“Aw, man, you killed me. I died.

“Here, I’ll kill myself and then you can shoot at that guy.”

“You’re dead!”  (gleefully spoken)

And on. And on. And on.

Finally I stopped them. I made them (gasp) hit the pause button and listen to me.

“Boys.  I’m your mother, and I gave you LIFE and it hurts me to hear all the casual talk of killing and death and I really can’t stand it. Do you HAVE to talk like that?” (There’s definitely a reason this sort of talk bothers me more than it should. I know what it is, and sorry, but it’s still there. This talk is perfectly normal with 3 boys and a tank game. I know. But it still freaks me out.)

The boys stood across the room from me, and were apparently under the misconception that if they spoke to one another without moving their lips, I would not hear them.

Caden-6yr says, “Is she serious? It’s a tank game. And you HAVE to shoot and kill.”

Ethan-10yr, “Uh, yeah. She… she just gets like that.”

Seth-5yr: “She gave us YIFE? I think I only got underwear.”

Seth. I gave you life AND I gave you clean underwear. I’m pretty amazing like that. Stop with all the violent talk or no more tank game.”

I turn back to the Laundry Table and Caden-6yr quietly says, “I’m six. That was kinda a long time ago.”

There was a silent scream at the Laundry Table at that moment.

That particular child  was NINE pounds when he was born and then slimmed on down AFTER birth and stayed on the svelte side AFTERWARDS because HA, take THAT for some timing, Mom.

So they humored me. And I appreciated the effort.

“ha HA! I’ll really… um, GET you here in a second.”

“My tank is going to take out that other one…”

And my personal favorite for creativity, “Ha! Game OVER for YOU!”


7 Comments on “Clean Underwear for Yife”

December 11th, 2010
6:48 pm

“She gave us YIFE? I think I only got underwear.”

Oh my gosh, you’re kids just kill me!! Um … I mean … they really GET me. ;-)

December 11th, 2010
6:49 pm

Sorry – make that “your”. I tried to leave it alone after I saw it, but I would have been awake all night.

Jennifer Sullivan
December 11th, 2010
9:17 pm

I love their creativity on words once you said no more. That’s AWESOME!

December 12th, 2010
1:42 pm

you truly are in editing mode. Yeah… Sethie was confused. I’d just previously given them giant mounds of clean underwear to put away and he’s a pretty concrete thinker, that one.

Jennifer sullivan,
those boys are def creative…. sometimes too creative…. and yes, there is such a thing

December 12th, 2010
6:34 pm

I love it! Your boys sound so cute. :) But I can sympathize, as you know…
I think moms of boys never really get all the boy talk and play (at least I don’t), thank goodness we can get away once in a while!

December 12th, 2010
9:11 pm

“She gave us YIFE? I think I only got underwear.”


December 12th, 2010
11:21 pm

Sara, I am all for your stress relief, if that’s what you’re referring to. You have had ENOUGH lately, and i pray peace and calm over all of you.

LaLa. i know. he’s adorable. (and apparently unfamiliar with that phrase.)

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