Wednesday, December 22nd 2010
Heimlich via Christmas Tree

Last week I told the kids if they would be absolutely wonderful and let me finish up with studying, I’d try to get the Christmas tree from the attic. And they were. So we did. Sorta. The Christmas tree sits in a bulging, half torn cardboard box that gets taped back together every year. It turns out that it barely squeezes through the attic opening.

The boys were SO excited. They lined up, tallest to smallest (unintentionally) and shivered in the cold garage while I tried to inch the tree box out of the attic opening. I said, “Okay. In just a second, it’s going to get past these springs, and I’ll hang on really tight to the attic stair handle thing because it’s going to come loose and hit me in the back and that way I won’t fall down the stairs…”

I was sort of thinking out loud. Caden-6yr said, “THAT’S THE PLAN?”

And before I could answer the tree came loose, shmacked me in the back,  and about knocked all the breath right out of me. Good thing I was holding on to the rail. The tree and I ran/fell down the stairs and the boys were beyond thrilled. They carried it in, grunting every last step of the way to the living room.

So I put it up and got the lights working and the boys to bed and there it sits. Undecorated still. We’ll do that when LaLa gets here.

Will totally have to remember that if I ever am home alone and choking on something, I just need to run to garage, move car to driveway, and then run up attic stairs and try to get Christmas tree down by this same method. It would work. If I were very fast and didn’t die first, it would work.

On a similar Christmas-y But Not Exactly Upbeat or Festive note, get ready to ebay after the holidays. This is my very favorite time of year to get great ebay deals. It’s a bit sad. Scooping up people’s Christmas presents that they didn’t want or can’t return. I can’t even tell you how  many times I’ve come across listing like this:

I love this, but my stupid mother in law always gets me this size even though she knows FULL WELL I’m not this size. I’m actually two sizes smaller than this. When I tell her that, she pretends to be surprised and says I look so much bigger than that.


This is really cute and brand new, but my sister always gives me something that is several sizes too small for ME, but just happens to be HER size so that then I’ll give it to her. Not this year. This year, you can bid for it!

And too bad for marrying into THAT, seller #1, and seller #2? I like your style and I don’t like your sister. Let me help you inspire her to give up this tradition.

These sorts of  post-Christmas listings are abundant and sad, but often turn out to be serious bargains.

Capitalize, ladies.

Fa la la la la la.


3 Comments on “Heimlich via Christmas Tree”

December 24th, 2010
2:34 pm

Great job getting the tree out of the attic! I wouldn’t have attempted that one! Merry Christmas!

Heather Ivester
December 26th, 2010
10:22 am

Merry Christmas, girl! I can relate to your artificial tree saga. We keep using my parents’ hand-me-down tree every year, even though I much prefer a beautiful, REAL tree that actually smells like Christmas. But our hand-me-down tree is free and it’s super-tall so it holds all the millions of preschool ornaments my kids made. (Still, it’s such a pain to get out of the attic!)

We’re enjoying a WHITE CHRISTMAS here in Georgia! Can you believe it? First time it’s snowed in the Atlanta area on Christmas in 130 years. :)

December 26th, 2010
11:47 pm

Hey Heather!

Yeah, i used to like the real tree thing too… i can’t remember how we got away from that. now it’s the fake tree with the christmas tree scented candle. it’s not nearly the same!

A pretty white Christmas for y’all! Your kids must be loving it!!!

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