Tuesday, December 28th 2010
I’m Not Moving.

Great morning. I’m so sore I can hardly move without flinching. I just love that feeling. Caden-6yr knows what I mean, but his gym-related soreness resulted from hurtling himself down a large slide in such a way that resulted in quite a gash on his right shoulder blade. The kids’ area workers cleaned him up and put two large bandaids on it and nervously asked me to sign a release form. I tried to reassure them that it was fine, and it would have happened no matter where he was or who was supervising.

With Caden-6yr, this is very true. I give him creativity points today though, because usually when he hurtles himself through life in wild and dangerous ways, he does it face first and his nose takes the brunt of any injuries. This particular quality makes me want to kiss him, put a helmet on him, wrap him in bubble wrap, and then cheer him on in whatever he takes on.

While Caden-6yr was busy ripping his flesh off, I was upstairs taking a class I did not intend to take at all. I meant to run. But then I got swept into a class by very friendly, chatty people. I tend to be suspicious of friendly, chatty people. And with good reason. One of them got me to agree to go to take her “aqua zumba” class. Eeeeek.  Where will you be on January 1st at 8 am? Not standing in your closet bemoaning swimsuit choices, right? And good for you.

But a smile-y, chatty friendly sort of person is to blame for why I will be doing exactly that.  Not that I couldn’t have said no. I have NO problem with that. But she was so sweet, and kinda new, and she was sweating next to me in Amee’s Butt Class yesterday and there was that whole sweat/bonding/near death experience thing and there ya go.

What is it about doing crunches in a room full of women and sitting up and seeing everyone else -between the frame of your knees- doing the same thing, and there’s that whole “eye contact with people while you’re in a position you associate with childbirth” dynamic….? Do you know what I mean? Is it just me?

I find it disconcerting. I do not want to accidentally make eye contact with other people while doing sit ups and then oops-yuck-bond in any tiny way due to subconscious associations with birth experiences. I should look at the ceiling next time. Let this be a lesson to us all.

If you mistakenly overlook the power of that dynamic, you could totally find your pasty self in a swimsuit just because you wanted to encourage a sweet little instructor in her career path.  Let’s just not be that nice next time, right? I’m NOT that nice. Must have been the sit ups.

Today I meant to run. But then I got swept into the class by the Nice People. And then? Oh MAN. Amee was teaching a class with some seriously scandalous butt gyrations. My version is hardly scandalous. I may not have the coordination to ever achieve scandalous, although she tells me otherwise.

But it worked core muscles without situps/unfortunate bonding  and that’s a definite plus.

Right this second my house is perfectly silent. 2 boys are asleep. One is reading.

I’m too sore to move and do anything but sit here and enjoy it….

guess I’ll just have to do that.


The laundry is waiting and the dishwasher could be unloaded. But that would require moving. And it might wake them up.

Better just sit….


4 Comments on “I’m Not Moving.”

December 29th, 2010
7:49 am

Isn’t the real question whether Amee’s butt class is getting the job done? I think saying yes to the “nice people” is a small price to pay for looking hot in a swimsuit. I say this with confidence, because in Linda’s world there is no Amee, and when we leave for Florida next week, I will be wearing a stylish mumu. I would love to be sore this morning!

The helmet and bubble wrap idea is priceless. If you could mass produce this with cool colors and a logo, you’d be famous. (More famous!) :D

December 29th, 2010
10:25 am

Linda, there is no ‘looking hot in a swimsuit’ happening here. ha! it would take a lot more than Amee to make that happen! i’m all for a good mumu. if only i had one for saturday…
Kelsey recently posted..I’m Not Moving

December 29th, 2010
11:01 am

Hahaha! And that is why I no longer belong to a gym! Jillian does not make eye contact with me, nor does she notice when, on a particularly sour day, I prop my feet up on the coffee table and munch a doughnut while she shouts at me to keep up.
Ok, so I’ve never done (just in case that angry lady really can see me) but I dream of it often.

December 30th, 2010
4:16 pm

Betty, Jillian is one not to be messed with! Brave girl!

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