Monday, January 24th 2011
Hairy Guy Legs

Was it only Saturday that I mentioned Caden-6yr busted his own lip…? And I was telling him how very much LIKE HIM i am…? Because, yeah, it’s Monday and I just busted my own lip.

It’s my top lip. It’s swollen and numb, and it feels like a medium-to-hard punch just landed right there on my top teeth. A little blood, but only on the inside. We’re good.

I’ve mentioned my No Nag policy. It’s still in effect. Essentially: ask Mike twice, nicely, then do it myself or hire/find someone else to do it, and never mention it again.

The results of this policy are many:

I don’t nag

I learn to do a LOT of things I wouldn’t normally know how to do (my drywall technique is TO DIE FOR)

I realize that some things I don’t really care about after all and I let them go

When Mike actually does do something I ask, I’m really thrilled and extra grateful.

Today I’d picked up the kids’ bikes from the bike place. I just couldn’t bring myself to take the time to learn how to repair all their bikes any time soon, there really just isn’t time and it needed to get done. No nap policy in effect.  So I took them to the bike shop a friend told me about, and today we picked them up. We took my big red truck instead of my big white Mom-mobile, so I could put all  the bikes in the back.

The drawback to taking the boys anywhere in my truck is that they sit right next to each other and touch each other and drive each other crazy. The upside is they’re really close and I can hear all their insane conversations better.

On the way to the bike place, Caden-6yr looked at his own knees and said, “I’m hairy.”

Ethan-10yr nodded and said, “Yes. You are.” Not in a judgmental way, just in an agreeable way.

Seth-5yr proudly says, “I am a Hairy Guy, too. I am hairy from HERE to HERE,” and he spreads his arms out like a large bird of prey to demonstrate his hairy wingspan.

Caden-6yr: “Now I know why dad always wears long pants. He probably doesn’t want any girls to see his hairy legs.”

Ethan-10yr says, “That’s not why! Dad wears long pants because it’s JANUARY.”

Caden-6yr: “No… he is too embarrassed to wear shorts in the summer. He never does. I don’t even think he HAS shorts. He’s pretty hairy, so… yaknow.”

Seth-5yr said, “I’ve seen his hairy yegs yots of times. And dey ARE very, VERY HAIRY.”

I turn in my seat just a little and see that Caden-6yr is covering his legs with both hands to cover his unsightly leg hairs.

I can’t stand it anymore anyway and I can’t possibly keep from laughing any longer. “Cadenbaby. Do not cover up your legs, there is nothing wrong with your legs. Or dad’s. Hairy legs are fine.”

On you. On me, gag, no thanks.

We got home and I unloaded the bikes from the back and one was a lot lighter than expected. A serious West Texas style gust of wind had whipped my hair in front of my face, and so I didn’t see the handlebars of the extra-lightweight bike coming until I’d already busted my lip. Caden-6yr said, “Did that hurt?”

“Oh gosh, no,” I said without even thinking (because pain denial is FAR more natural to me than pain acknowledgment). I put my tongue over my teeth, tasted blood, and smiled as I handed him his bike.

Probably it would be helpful if I corrected that little lie.

Probably it would rock his little world if I told him I like hairy guy legs.

Probably I’m not ready for that.


20 Comments on “Hairy Guy Legs”

January 24th, 2011
8:29 pm

Hairy guy legs are a tricky thing. I’m okay with them, I suppose because they are socially acceptable (unlike the same on a girl – ewwww). But now and then I can’t help think that it might be nice if guys shaved their legs and underarms too. Of course, since it’s the social norm in America for them not to, it would probably just seem weird if they did. But still, in a pipe dream, it might be nice.
Geekwif recently posted..Remember What I Said About Libraries

January 24th, 2011
8:47 pm


WHAT?! You have (inadvertently) SHOCKED me to pieces. REALLY?! Wha… I can’t even think. Can’t type. I’m sitting here staring at screen thinking, “It’s like big trucks.” Except… that only makes sense in my head. I cannot articulate that into a thought that would pass for communication. Men. Hairy. Big Trucks. All good. See… that is lame. I might try again later. : )
Kelsey recently posted..Hairy Guy Legs

Jennifer Sullivan
January 25th, 2011
12:14 pm

Hairy legs are not my thing either. I too wish that guys could at least trim their leg hairs. and don’t even get me started on hairy chests – gag.
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..What I learned today

January 25th, 2011
5:51 pm

I tried really hard to picture a bunch of straight guys sitting around trimming leg hairs… and I just couldn’t. Chest hair bothers you? This is SOOO surprising to me. (Then again, for some reason I’ve forgotten all the women in my family have autographed photos of Tom Selleck, circa 1985ish. So I wouldn’t understand.)

January 25th, 2011
9:06 pm

Have you people gone MAD!? Men are supposed to be hairy! It’s a testosterone thing… hairy legs, BIG TRUCKS, work boots… Can you picture a man in work boots with neatly trimmed leg hairs? Or a manicure? Or a bottle of fragrance on the vanity from Calvin Klein?

What’s next? No pizza, beer, and football?
Linda recently posted..Linda of Oz

January 25th, 2011
9:38 pm

i’d like to vote for no loud burping… but the hair has to stay! ; )
Kelsey recently posted..Hairy Guy Legs

Annie Joy
January 25th, 2011
10:55 pm

This reminds me of conversations between my granddaughters, Abby (10), Annie (8), and Colleen (7). It will really be interesting when they start to (as my husband would say) pubertize. :) Annie
Annie Joy recently posted..Valentines Day – Here Before You Know It!

January 26th, 2011
7:35 am

Annie Joy,
Please tell your husband that is an awesome word!

Jennifer Sullivan
January 26th, 2011
4:59 pm

Linda, yes, in a perfect world I could definitely picture men with neatly trimmed leg and chest hairs and Calvin Klein fragrance on the vanity. That is my DREAM world!
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..Miranda has been replaced by a 3 year old

January 26th, 2011
7:00 pm

You’re adorable. And your husband has race cars in the front yard..? I’m thinking there’s no way that dream will ever come true based on that ONE little detail alone!

January 26th, 2011
10:59 pm

Race cars in the front yard rule.
Linda recently posted..Linda of Oz

Jennifer Sullivan
January 27th, 2011
2:47 pm

Kels and Linda, LOL. The race cars are not in the fornt yard anymore, remember I had a moment where I went all Redneck and I gave a special little look and before I knew it my house was better. The race cars are in the garage again. I need more parking…
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..Miranda has been replaced by a 3 year old

January 27th, 2011
3:15 pm

If I had to choose between less hair or no loud belching, I would pick the no belching without another thought. I’m going to go dream about a world without belching now.
Geekwif recently posted..Oh My

January 27th, 2011
4:10 pm

That there was even a single day where you had a race car in the front yard (even if it was a one time only thing) TOTALLY tells me your husband is not a leg hair trimming sort.
Ooooh that would be lovely.

January 29th, 2011
10:54 pm

Just had to share one more hairy leg comment before it’s over. Last night around 5:00am (which is when a hot flash and insomnia usual collide) I opened your book on my Kindle.

I’m right at the part where Lark is going to help pick out paint with Brant at Home Depot… and then the hairy leg scene comes along… and I’m losing track of what’s real and what’s fiction, because I could swear we just had this conversation in real life!

And it was so funny, but I couldn’t exactly laugh out loud and wake my husband, so I held my breath to keep the sound from coming out, but then the rest of me was shaking so hard that the whole bed started rocking. OMGosh. It was obscene, it was just too funny. Felt like a girl in study hall all over again.

You are a terrific writer, Kelsey! I haven’t finished reading a book in ages, but your book has been so much fun, it’s hard to put down. I also like the feeling of suspense over who is it gonna be, and trying to figure out the ending before I get there. I think I would like west Texas. Real men, hairy legs, and all that. I’m so glad I got to know you! Hugs…

January 30th, 2011
5:39 pm

You are TOO nice to me, and you completely made my day. thank you!

Here’s the strange part: I completely forget what I write once I write it. Poof, gone. I didn’t remember that scene until you mentioned it. Although it does go to show I have some strong feelings about men and hair, and apparently those views go back a few years. My first crush (age 6) was the hairiest, gray bearded guy in the Oak Ridge Boys. Be still my heart. That beard was bigger than me.
In general:
I live in West Texas, and I do not trust men who highlight, dye, perm, or do other overly artificial things to their hair. I just don’t. Men, just be men. If it falls out or turns gray, just know that you are cute enough to pull that look off because you probably are. Right?! I might not feel this way if I lived somewhere else where these things are more common, but that’s all right with me. There is nothing more distracting to me than a straight man in church on Sunday with a fresh set of blond highlights. All I can think about is, “WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIM?” And then i pray for God to give him wisdom,because he clearly needs it.

Am terribly narrowminded when it comes to men/hair issues.

Linda, I’m so glad we ‘met.’ It makes my day when your site is in bold in my bloglines because i get to see what you’ve been thinking about – and it’s always funny or moving or otherwise thought-provoking.

March 20th, 2011
12:36 pm

Im a guy. I would never ever shave the hair off my legs. my legs r quite hairy znd I like them like that. Im a man. I have a penis

March 20th, 2011
1:03 pm

^Nice anatomy lesson there, Dan. Thanks for that. ;)

If I could cast my vote in here, I would vote for hairy men who don’t feel the need to shave–though personally, I do like more feminine, less hairy men. My opinion stems from my deep loathe of shaving. I don’t wish that evil on anyone. I would also vote that it becomes totally “in-vogue” for women to be hairy and natural too. Sigh… It would take some serious view-changing. I can’t even imagine it when I try really hard, but I would SO love it if I didn’t have to wear pants all summer long–just because I hate shaving so much. I hate razor burn worse and I always seem to get it. :S

“Hey, Michele, want to go swimming?”
“Sure. Just give me 45 minutes, a can of Barbasol and some bush trimmers”… LOL. (Yes, TMI. That was just for Dan).

March 24th, 2011
12:59 pm

In that one brief comment we are assured:
1) you’re a guy
2) you’re a MAN
3) you have a penis

i think we’re all clear on that, and I do appreciate your taking the time to clarify hair preferences and to spell out the masculinity that is all yours. incidentally, i would have guessed all of that just by the name”dan.” but that’s just me…

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