It would be REALLY wrong of me to complain about the weather here. Given that most likely, it is nothin’ compared to your weather. (Jenn S and Sara and Linda as notable exceptions). BUT. I’ll make it fast, PLEASE? Thankssomuch.

Monday the kids had school. Tuesday, FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL, the kids did NOT have school. Today, Wednesday, the kids started at 10. Tomorrow they start at 10 as well. Have i mentioned it… the roads are FINE. We’re all good. I sorta slipped on a patch of ice one little time today and it was not EVEN noteworthy except it’s the only time that has occurred all week long and shhh, but I kinda LIKE a little unpredictability like that.  It’s better when it’s mud, but ice will do in a pinch. Wakes you all up and makes you feel alive, yaknow? (Like a crazy rocking boat, because I don’t get seasick, or rough turbulence on an aircraft.  I LIKE it.)

If the roads were bad, I’d be all for this school delay stuff. ALL for it. But since I do not agree that it is necessary, it’s a bit obnoxious around here. (And really, you homeschooler types, YOU ROCK. I don’t know how you do that. I always thought, eh, well, maybe if I had to I could pull that off. Nuh UH, never, I have changed my mind this week.)

So the kids have all this OHMYGOSHSNOOOOOW energy that does wonders for their attention spans and respect levels, and then you know who ELSE has snow issues? The DOG.

THE.

DOG.

Thanks to unnecessary delayed school start times, I have two fewer hours of kids-at-school time to get all my own school/house/gym stuff done and then now I have that time thoroughly eaten up by the DOG’s SNOWPHOBIA.

He’s a pretty chocolate lab. Expensively, expertly trained. He does not bark, he does not bite, he does not jump.

And he does NOT pee in snow.

Which is too bad, because that’s all we have, right on up to the back door, AND the front door, and no I will NOT be letting you twinkle in the garage, Duke. Don’t even think about it.

So all day I would stop with the history and take the dog to the backdoor and say, “Go. You can do it. I believe in you. Go act like a dog.”

And all day long he would hang his head in protest, but walk out the door (thank you, expensive expert dog trainer types), and then turn and look at me through the door with a face that said, “No. I… I…  just can’t. You couldn’t either. I’ve heard you talk about how picky you are about gas station bathrooms. I KNOW YOU COULDN”T DO THIS, EITHER, WOMAN, NOW OPEN THE DOOR AND LEMME IN.”

And so I put on my coat (oddly, also chocolate and faux furry) and go out there, too, for company. But no. We come inside, and he drinks water and I wonder if I should stop him or if I should keep refilling it and which would be better. It’s only 4 degrees, and too cold to leave him outside. He’s never gone on the carpet before (thank you expensive expert dog trainer types), and I don’t want that to change today.

At one point I called my mom and asked her what to do. She suggested putting his paw in a bowl of warm water. The weird thing is, I woulda done it if I had just ten extra minutes right then, but of course I didn’t because I’d used up all the time in the WHOLE DAY already on this problem and I had to leave right then.

The irony is this sweet dog came from South Dakota. I reminded him of that a few times today, but he’s all, “WHAT? Shut UP with that. I am tropical.”

Anyway. I NEED those two hours back in my day. I NEED all that extra time and energy that I normally do not waste on trying to get my dog to twinkle. I do not have time for this. Really. Sure, I’m a stay-at-home mom and we have All Kinds of Time, right? That’s a myth. We don’t.

But next week? Next week I will be pretty much done with these classes for a week or two… and the snow will have melted… and there will be mud.

At least there’s that to look forward to. Next week, in the middle of a normal school-day, in the middle of nowhere, I will be getting a bit reckless in a large red truck and loving every second of it.

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