Monday, February 21st 2011
Poodles and Bunnies ONLY, Please.

This afternoon I sat on the floor of the Kid Area at the gym and huddled with the boys. There was a pressing conversation to be had, and it could NOT wait until we got home.

They were completely bewildered that I nicely sat them down and said, “Please do not discuss your scabs with me, anymore.”  I’d reached my breaking point on the issue. Right there in the gym. It had to be said. I cannot TAKE anymore scab talk with three clumsy-like-me, and thus always-scabby boys. I’m DONE.

Why is that so important to them?! Progress, color, activity of each scab is included in these consultations I want no part of.  Scientists studying volcanic pre-eruption signals don’t analyze as fully as these boys. Do I really have to demonstrate my maternal love and affection by a daily close examination of each scab on each child? Because if not, I hereby quit that part. And even so, I already trial-quit, and I’m hoping it works. They each have 2 brothers who will probably fill in for me. I’m SO over Scab Inspection as a bonding activity. Here’s a bandaid, let’s read instead.

Tonight was Gym Member Appreciation night. Which means someone painted the boys’  faces, but I’m not sure what else it meant. The boys picked what they wanted from a book and sat down and when their faces were done… I realized I should have been more pushy and controlling and less, “whooo hooo, someone else is on duty, and my kids HAVE to be still so I think I’ll just stand here and space out.”

Ethan-10yr looked darling. He was transformed into a cheetah.

Caden-7yr and Seth-5yr apparently chose to be painted like the freakiest, scariest demon looking things in the lady’s book. Lovely. They looked like beautiful – if scabby –  angels when they sat down in that chair, and they looked AWFUL when they got out of the chair. Not that I really care… but they were creepy.  They were red and black and were Darth Mal…(?) Whatever that is.  Never seen Star Wars, so not sure. But he was a Bad Guy, and that I’m WAY sure of.

So I shoulda said, “Get your faces painted, but you have to be a bunny or a poodle, ‘kay, honey?” That overly controlling measure would have ensured a peaceful ride home right? Because it turns out that if you paint 2/3 of your available children like scary hellions, guess what? They ACT like it. And they make me catch my breath when I glimpse them in the rearview mirror.

I scrubbed their little faces after dinner and mentioned that face paint was actually makeup, and so the makeup remover I was using was perfect for the job of returning their normal and angelic faces. Caden-7yr looked sick to his stomach and vowed he would never wear face paint again and he’d had no idea it was makeup and why didn’t I tell him that before, and Oh. My. Gosh. MOM?!

He’s a bit dramatic.

I didn’t tell him that his dad wears makeup when he makes TV appearances.

But he wouldn’t have believed me anyway.

~hm

7 Comments on “Poodles and Bunnies ONLY, Please.”

1
LaLa
February 21st, 2011
9:31 pm

Oh I love that he had no idea it was makeup.

Also, Scab Inspection? That’s a Boys-Only activity for the brothers. I’m with you on that!

2
Jennifer Sullivan
February 22nd, 2011
1:04 am

Gross.

Miranda always wants to talk about makeup, every last little detail, color, how it looks, do I like this side of her face or that side? Its quite intense…

Your poor kids would probably be scarred for life if you told them daddy wear makeup. LOL!
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..Screw comfort zones

3
Geekwif
February 22nd, 2011
3:30 pm

Rumor has it that George Lucas told the guy who designed the Darth Maul character to think of his worst nightmare and then make the character look even scarier than that. Personally, I thought he just looked goofy. Though I think that the transformation of sweet little boy faces into Darth Maul faces would be far scarier because you know what their faces are supposed to look like.

I’m on board with the banning scab talk. Eww. Eww. Eww. Sad thing is, my 42-year-old husband would totally engage in scab talk. Boys are so weird, no matter the age.
Geekwif recently posted..Redemption

4
Michele
February 22nd, 2011
3:45 pm

LOL!! Hilarious! I watched all six Star Wars movies and I didn’t get Darth Mall’s face paint either, so I can imagine just how bizarre and disturbing it must have been for a non Star Wars fan.

(Btw, I think I’ve finished redoing the look of my blog for now. It’d be nice if I’d actually post something once in a while… Can you see the similarity? It’s the best I can do).

5
Kelsey
February 22nd, 2011
5:27 pm

LaLa,
it was eye opening!
JS,
I remember that age! But I only said stupid stuff like that to friends! My mother would never have been an option! (and that’s perf fine!)
Geekwif,
I BELIEVE that rumor. Totally. Those kids were creepy looking.
Michele,
Looks so good!!

6
Michele
February 22nd, 2011
10:29 pm

I wish my kids would hurry up and progress to scab talk. I would prefer it to constant jokes about passing gas and potty humor–which I don’t even allow! And they’re still doing it every time I turn around. >:(
Michele recently posted..Chickens!

7
Dawn
March 6th, 2011
12:30 am

Tears literally rolling down my face from laughing so hard….
Dawn recently posted..Week 5- Feb 2011

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