Friday, March 18th 2011

Workout Barbie came to town and invited me to lunch. I haven’t seen her or talked to her in…. 3 years? She was the first trainer I had, and the only one I ever liked. She was better as a trainer and as a friend than I ever gave her credit for back then. I didn’t realize that until lunch yesterday.

Isn’t that strange? How you can fail to see the real value in a relationship and it only becomes clearer in hindsight? And the other way around – where you see that people you thought treated you well and were good for you were actually on the toxic end?

Or maybe y’all don’t do that, because you’re better judges of such things than I am. I’ve tried to get better at this. When there’s someone really genuine and wonderful, I try to remember to say so. Too often, I haven’t, or I haven’t done it well enough.

I’ve written two posts and then hit “save draft” rather than publish them. And this one is stalling out. I have a lot in my head, and nothing is processing very well.

The natural disasters and fallout hurt to even consider. I find myself lost in thought and prayer and with tears in my eyes but I don’t want to write about it. ¬†Apart from that, it’s a busy week. I think. Kids, baseball, practices, and everything needed to pull off a baby shower next weekend. A quick visit from my dad will be nice, somewhere between now and then. School, cleaning, cooking food that strangers will eat. (that’s a much higher standard than I’m used to.) ¬†Figuring out which relationships need to change and how and if it’s even possible, and why so many are on that list all of a sudden…?

Seth-5yr is planning to marry Olivia. Well, Olivia is planning to marry him, and he does not object. I asked him if I could come to the wedding, and he said no. “It’s when we are yots older. O’Libya told me what dee wedding will be yike, and there will not be pair-wents dhere.”

“Oh. Why not?”

“Well. O’Libya told me, but… I cannot weally under’tand de way she talks.”

It made me wonder exactly how Olivia talks. And if she can understand Seth-5yr. And if she attends speech therapy classes with him and they discuss their wedding there, with the speech therapist.

Their relationship has communication issues. I suppose they all do.


4 Comments on “Eh.”

March 18th, 2011
9:15 pm

Take a deep breath, girlfriend. I can feel your stress tonight.

Why not focus on the beautiful future in store for Seth and lovely Olivia. First the royals, and now you!

These are lyrics from a Carly Simon song that sound like your sentiments:

“Nostalgia you fake, you bittersweet ache…
the time that you take could make another heart old.
Could the truth be, I won’t really see
how much I love you till it’s over.”

See. You are not alone. Hugs to you. : )

March 19th, 2011
9:53 am

Maybe Olivia has a point. In-laws seem to be a problem for lots of couples ;)
Jan recently posted..Frankie

March 20th, 2011
11:59 am

Excellent last line! I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts!
Melissa recently posted..My Biggest Confession

March 20th, 2011
12:51 pm

(The natural disasters have got me bummed too. It must be really effecting you, though. I was surprised to see that this is your only post since the last time I visited. Not that I’m disappointed or anything. I don’t expect you to provide free entertainment for me–and I haven’t posted in FO-REV-OR. I was just surprised, that’s all. I hope you’re doing okay.)

If I were a Barbie, I would be Over-Encourager Barbie. Or Paranoid Barbie. Or maybe just Weird Barbie.

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