i’m a bit upset. and not really wanting to talk about it much yet, but y’all pray. so of course i should.
i’ve written and hit ‘save draft’ a few times. to explain. but then i didn’t really want to.
on thursday i made a red velvet birthday cake that is sitting in the kitchen, forgotten, uncut. no candles ever made it there. stale. my mom mentioned it earlier. otherwise i probably wouldn’t have remembered it at all.
ethan-11yr had an awful birthday, complete with a concussion and drama and awfulness of much magnitude. and, apparently, no cake.
he was playing capture the flag. he was taking it a bit too seriously. he had the flag. he couldn’t possibly allow Maddie to tag him. he fell. hit his head, hard, on something hard.
i don’t really think i did everything as well as i should have. more could have been done, sooner. if i’d just realized. but i didn’t. i’m not sure why.
it wasn’t until he was strapped into the MRI thing today that i really fell apart. not good timing. but he was asleep, and the room was empty so i wasn’t bothering anyone. okay, maybe it was good timing.
he’s not thinking or speaking as clearly as normal. he gets words all mixed up, and he can’t do math. all of that makes him defensive and upset and he tries to cover it so people don’t notice.
he’s not himself.
i’m not myself.
i’m not thinking or speaking as clearly as normal. i get my words all mixed up, and i’ve never been able to do math anyway and when i get upset, i go where no one will see me so people don’t notice.
but if you would, i’d love any prayers you might have for ethan-11yr. thank you.
(and if you know scary things about head injuries, oh please don’t tell me. i know many of you are medical types, or have your own experiences that might scare me to pieces. but i can’t hear it yet. if you don’t mind too much.)