Thursday, April 21st 2011
A List of Not Much (But It’s WAY Better Reading Than What I Should Be Writing)

* There was a three boy alert this morning when someone realized the dog had taken off his collar somewhere and was running around completely naked. Shocking. Duke is normally so reserved. The collar was found – outside – and then they all watched as I “dressed” the dog.

* Seth-5yr: “you do yots of teengs for me that you do not do for my buddahs just because i am better at my pyease and thank yous.” And… it’s true. Seth-5yr turns on the charm, dimples,  AND the manners and I’m suddenly more than happy to oblige most of his adorable little whims.

* He’s particularly impossible to resist when he throws his little arms around my neck and kisses my cheek and then says, “Wait. Do  you have on yip’tick?” (If I say no, I get to kiss him back.)

* about a month ago Mike wanted me to drop off a bunch of folding chairs to him. I was supposed to go to the restaurant where he was eating and load them into the back of his truck. No problem. I was on my way when i got a text with a photo of his truck. No explanation. Just the photo of the truck in the parking lot, license plate visible. What this text meant of course, was “don’t see another black truck, load up the folding chairs into it, and then start taking your clothes off for any reason.” As if I’d do that. I mean, some mistakes you only make once, gimme some credit.

* Ethan-11yr’s attitude is cheerful and sunny. He’s having memory issues and difficulty with math. We’re thinking it’ll be weeks or months before it resolves. But his outlook about it all is surprisingly positive and that must be helping more than I can imagine. I’m glad we’re nearing the end of the school year.

* This year I’ve added the School Nurse to my list of Beloved Teacher Types I give end of school gifts to. She’s practically family now.

* I never even got a chance to tell y’all about how The Night Before The Concussion I burned Caden-7yr’s elbow on a hot pan and then handled the whole thing very badly because he decided somehow that i did it on purpose. I’m calm in times of injury, but if you think the most overprotective mama ever just intentionally burned an elbow…? Then I TOTALLY LOSE IT. Like, FORGET THE FIRST AID, BUSTER. Are you KIDDING ME? Yeah. Nothing says, “I love you and adore you, baby, and would NEVER hurt you like that” more than “YOU THINK WHAT? GO TO YOUR ROOM!” It wasn’t my finest mothering moment. My delaying-medical-care-flipout lasted a couple minutes and then i got it together long enough to put his elbow in flour (awesome, effective burn treatment) and then laugh and cry and beg forgiveness for all my awfulness. His tears mixed with mine in the flour canister and made glue.  And can I just say… I did not SEE his elbow.

*That’ll teach him to ask for seconds.

*Last night Seth-5yr asked for seconds (cous cous, his favorite), and then hopped up and walked TEN FEET from the table and waited patiently while I loaded up his plate. Then he said, “Thank you, Mama! I yuv cous cous. And my elbow did not get bairned!”

*bairned is harder to say that burned, but that’s all right.  I was glad no one got bairned either.

*Caden-7yr ran into school like his pants were on fire this morning. He’d asked permission first, and I of course said yes. It was an emergency, after all. He had been made aware of his hair sticking up in an unfortunate manner on the way to school and he’d been unable to fix it with spit.  Though he did give it such a mighty try, I figured he’ll be thirsty all day.  These things matter greatly to Caden-7yr, whose hair normally arranges itself perfectly every day with no effort needed.

*I was passing by the boys’ bathroom just as Caden-7yr turned on the light and and saw his reflection in the mirror. His “Oh! My! GOSH!” could be heard by all the elementary kids in the hallway at 8:10 this morning.

*Junior High will be fun with that one. He came out with soaking wet hair plastered to his head and acting as if this was perfectly normal to casually walk – dripping – to his first grade classroom.

* This list is what I chose to write instead of a term paper that will have to feature the case of Lorena Bobbitt and how she served no prison time for severing a penis.

*Except now I’ve stalled all I can.

*I was trying to come up with something else to end with, so that’s not the final impression. But really? I don’t think it would work. Once you use the words ‘severing a penis’ in a blog post you can’t just add an asterisk and then say, “I’m planting white geraniums later today if it warms up some” and erase the earlier thought, right? It just doesn’t work that way. Or maybe it does. I don’t know.

*I’m planting white geraniums later today if it warms up some. It’s only supposed to get to 81, and that is still cold to me.

~hm

6 Comments on “A List of Not Much (But It’s WAY Better Reading Than What I Should Be Writing)”

1
Jenny
April 21st, 2011
3:25 pm

LOL….I needed a laugh today!
Jenny recently posted..Waiting for the school to call

2
Jan
April 21st, 2011
3:37 pm

Oh Kelsey, I do love you! You make me laugh out loud!
Jan recently posted..Sissy

3
Geekwif
April 21st, 2011
3:42 pm

The perfect ending. Of course, I’ll never be able to look at white geraniums again without thinking of severed … um … boy parts. But then I’ve always been more of a pink geranium kind of girl anyway. :)

Oh, and I would give my left arm for 81. We had snow yesterday and frost on the windows this morning. Ick.
Geekwif recently posted..Jane Eyre Again And Other Books

4
Mysti
April 21st, 2011
3:49 pm

Oh my heavens – Geekwif is right. You’ve ruined white geraniums for us all! (Not that I’ve ever attempted geraniums. They’re annuals right? I don’t do annuals. Too much upkeep.)

5
Kelsey
April 21st, 2011
5:19 pm

Jenny and Jan,
y’all tend to make me laugh, too!

Geekwif,
that was PARTICULARLY insensitive of me to say 81 isn’t warm enough. Snow and FROST?! that’s just not right. Usually I like the red geraniums. Classic. Bright. I put them in blue pots and LOVE them til they die. But this year I’m doing red in the blue pots and white in the green pots somewhere else. They probably won’t look as good as the red, but i love white flowers of any kind.

Mysti,
Generally I’d agree… but sometimes they make it through the winter and you get an extra year or two out of them. Annuals are generally not worth the bother, but geraniums are 1 of only 2 exceptions. the other is chartreuse sweet potato vine. i hate pansies almost as much as i hate roses. ugh.

6
Geekwif
April 22nd, 2011
2:56 pm

White geraniums in green pots – that sounds SO pretty!!
Geekwif recently posted..Jane Eyre Again And Other Books

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