Monday, April 18th 2011

Y’all are amazing. Thank you.

Ethan-11yr has a nasty concussion, but the MRI showed nothing scary going on in the IntraCranial Department. There was much ‘all is fine’ in that department, and I am quite relieved. Actually the word used over and over to describe various perfectly normal parts of the MRI findings was ‘unremarkable.’   It’s my favorite word of the day. Unremarkable. There’s nothing abnormal or crazy to see here on this child’s brain right now and so it’s medically… unremarkable.  No big masses or hemorrhages here to remark about, so it’s unremarkable.

Fantastically reassuring, that word.

I didn’t want to know the scary details of head injuries. So I didn’t really want to tell you guys. Because y’all are so smart, of course you know these things and might tell me, and after all, I was already secretly plagued by thoughts of beautiful Natasha Richardson and how everyone thought she was just fine after that skiing accident and then poof she died. And that scared me a whole whole lot – so much so that I wouldn’t even mention that to anyone. That’s how I know what’s really bothering me. It’s too awful to voice.

I was okay. Only crying in my closet with my overflowing sock drawer. Then we went to church and they had to start in with the Jesus Music. And nothing will undo me faster than Jesus Music. I had Ethan-11yr on one side of me (so that he could rest the non-concussed side of his head on my shoulder) and Caden-7yr on the other side. At one point Caden-7yr reacts to my slightly damp, snotted hand on his neck and whispers, “What? Why is your hand wet?” and then he sees my Mess Of A Tear Stained Face and does one of those full body shudders combined with dramatic eye fluttering/rolling back in the head moves that thoroughly communicates the message, “Oh GOD, get me a new mother this one is just not gonna do.” Ethan-11yr sees his brother and looks at me and then gets all wigged out, too, and is all “WHAT? Why are you crying?” and looked utterly shocked when I whispered that,  ”it kinda UPSETS me that you are this hurt.”

Mike notices the scene and goes to get tissues. I actually had some in my purse but was operating under the assumption that If I Don’t Use A Tissue, I’m Still FINE and NOT REALLY CRYING Up A Storm Back Here.

The boys both looked mortified that I was such a public mess.  As if I’m not a public mess regularly in some form or another, and they should well be used to it. But the Jesus Music will do that every time to an emotional wreck of a mama, and I kinda just didn’t care. Embarrassing them was way at the bottom of list of things to worry about that day.  Also? Bonus points to me because it was SUNDAY, and the ridiculous Head Injury Birthday was on Thursday, and I’m thinking those babies are real lucky I didn’t just spew endless tears from the moment it happened until today when we got the really great MRI results back and I felt like I could breathe again.

Ethan-11yr is not himself yet. I don’t know how long that will last. He’ll go back to school tomorrow, and I’m okay with that. But he has a lot of difficulty with math still. I checked his work today and talked him through how it was all right that it was so much harder all of a sudden and to just breathe. He’s been having trouble finding the right words when he’s speaking. He’ll trail off and not finish a sentence or a thought and then forget he was speaking. He’ll think he has done something that has been asked of him, and forget that he hasn’t. Four or even five times in a row. He has less control of his emotions and gets upset over little things.

In the last few days he was trying to cover all of that up. Less of that now. More of an uneasy acceptance. I don’t know how long this phase lasts. I wish I could tell him, but probably there’s no right answer for that anyway.

Thank you for all your kind thoughts, words, emails, and prayers. Y’all are so, so  lovely.


5 Comments on “Unremarkable”

Jennifer Sullivan
April 18th, 2011
9:17 pm

Unremarkable is wonderful. Thank God.
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..Godzilla in the kitchen

April 18th, 2011
9:54 pm

My son hit his head while skateboarding. He had nightmares that he was spinning around and would get dizzy in general. It was hard to see him upset about the nightmares, but I enjoyed having our 12 year old come running into our room again to sleep with us. This lasted for several weeks but it did go away. He still doesn’t remember what happened that day but everything else turned out fine. I’m so glad your son is okay. I have been thinking and praying for your family. Paige

April 19th, 2011
9:29 am

Soooo glad to hear the “unremarkable” news. It’s almost impossible to predict how any given person will respond to a concussion, or how quickly he/she will heal. Just keep on doing what your are doing–encouraging him to feel okay with how things are, and reassuring him that things will eventually get better. Still praying for you. BTW, seems as if there are a lot of head injuries going around right now. My niece fell and fractured her skull three weeks ago, with bleeding and brain swelling, but is doing a little better every day. Her son ran into a boat being hauled by a guy in a pickup (he was riding his bike) and fractured his skull last week. All we can do is just keep on lifting them up in prayer, and trust that the Lord God knows their needs. We love you.
Jan recently posted..Sissy

April 19th, 2011
4:39 pm

“Unremarkable” will never sound the same. So glad you got to hear it a lot!
Geekwif recently posted..Jane Eyre Again And Other Books

April 20th, 2011
10:09 am

Praying for you! I know what it’s like raising active boys, and we’ve been to the emergency room too many times for my comfort. So glad to hear he’s OK!

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