Saturday, May 28th 2011
A Bathroom Scene

A few morning ago I confronted Mike over the secret family I’d dreamed he had.

This was never going to go well.

I know that. You know that. And Mike knew that.

But I had dreamed he really DID have a secret family and he’s about to be gone for 3 weeks (a lot, even for him) and I had that very real feeling of resentment for the Dream Mike and what HE had done that had totally carried over into real life with Real Mike and guess who was in the bathroom with me? Real Mike. So OF COURSE he’s the one who gets the stinkeye.

I’m in the bathtub, silently reliving the details of this dream, and not really aware that I’m glaring at his reflection in the mirror.

Real Mike says, “What’s the look for?”

“I dreamed you had a secret family and I only found out about them when $3- $5 hundred thousand dollars went unaccounted for.”

(I am not good at math, and allow for this even in my dreams.)

“Oh.”

Real Mike stayed silent for a long time. He was either considering what to say, or more likely, he was having trouble coming to grips with the fact that a response was yes, actually necessary at ALL.

Finally he said, “I don’t have an extra $3 to $5 hundred thousand dollars.”

“WELL THANKS SO MUCH, BUT YOU DIDN’T IN THE DREAM EITHER, BUDDY, AND THAT’S WHAT TIPPED! ME! OFF!

Again with the silence. And the thinking. Already this is a long conversation by our standards, and I’m well aware that it’s only because I’m naked and he isn’t finished at the sink. Mike will stay around and talk much longer if I’m naked. Naked and irrationally angry about what he did in a dream, but the key thing there is still the naked.

Only a financial guy would FIRST and ONLY address the money issue when confronted about a Subconsciously Generated Secret Family. I mean, really?  Is the money REALLY the point? Of course not.

“Fine. I don’t have a secret family.”

He left. With a smirk. And a kiss on top of my head that seemed seriously patronizing.

Then I was mad at both versions of him, and THAT just makes a whole lot of sense, right? He probably left that day dreaming up his version of a secret family in which the wife is all sorts of serene and sane in the early morning hours.

Sweet dream.

~hm

3 Comments on “A Bathroom Scene”

1
Jennifer Sullivan
May 29th, 2011
10:37 pm

This made me laugh. I can’t believe his first response was about the money either! Dreams can be so bad. I have woke up furious with Shawn many times in the past and I seriously expect an apology for whater “Dream Shawn” did. Maybe not sane, but it works for me!
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..The dogs might need therapy

2
Geekwif
June 4th, 2011
11:26 pm

You know the panicky feeling you get when being tickled? I sometimes wake up in a sheer panic after dreaming that the Geek was tickling me. And he can’t figure out why I won’t let him touch me after a dream like that. Duh.
Geekwif recently posted..Jane Eyre Again And Other Books

3
Kelsey
June 6th, 2011
4:36 pm

GW,
HA! I haaate being tickled and know the feeling you mean. YUCK. Does the Geek ever tickle you, apart fr in dreams?

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