Over the years, I’ve badmouthed my neighbors to you in ways that fall way, way short of Christ-like. It’s true. I could probably do a search and provide links with all the times I’ve trashed these people to you. I don’t like how they have poker night once a week and there’s nowhere to park. Not that I need a place to park. But still. I don’t like how their guests wander around drunk and make stupid comments. I don’t like how their commercial grade icemaker drains and floods our yard all the time, or how they grow really tall weeds and let water stand in puddles and breed mosquitoes just on the other side of the fence from where my kids play.
An apology is overdue for this horrible, gossipy, behavior. It’s unacceptable. I don’t sit around mad about these people. But whenever I DO think about them, it’s always negative, never nice, and then I mentally list off all their unappealing habits. And I should stop that. And repent for dragging y’all into it.
But here’s the thing.
I think they’re growing weed, now. Or, more accurately, preparing to grow weed. This actually bothers me far less than the standing water problem, hello West Nile Virus, we don’t need any other weird illnesses here. Mom was over last night and I invited her to peer through the fence cracks with me in order to more fully investigate their preparations.
WHAT? Is that not how you honored your mother on Mother’s Day? It worked for us. We spied on the neighbors, and discussed their possibly illegal and unsavory behavior that is based on, well, not much, and then we went inside and watched the finale of the Amazing Race.
Ethan-11yr had requested hamburgers with bits of bacon smushed into the patties. I obliged – squished two forms of meat from two different animal sources together, ick, ick, ick – and Mike grilled them. I ate sushi and potato chips.
Which might sound like a far more disgusting combination to some of you than pig + cow, but eh. I liked.
There was supposed to be an apology coming your way… from me… and… nope. There’s no way I can sincerely do it. Maybe soon. I can’t stand my neighbors. But at least this way, if there is a genuine transformation in my attitude toward them, I can let you know about it then and we can admire the miracle together.
However.
God is big, but don’t hold your breath. I’m stubborn on this one.
I love you.
2:56 pm
I had a neighbor who grew pot once. She claimed she didn’t know what it was when she planted it. Yeah. Funny how a couple of spaced out guys started hanging around a lot right about the time she “realized” what it was and then stopped hanging out when she pulled it out for fear of the cops finding out about it. Of course, in that neighborhood we had a lot worse things than one backyard pot plant to worry about.
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4:35 pm
I love how you called on J-Mom to be your expert plant identifier. Remember, this is the woman who sat on the blanket with us at the Willie Nelson concert and asked us to point out when we smelled pot so she could definitely know what it smelled like!
The neighbors sound unsavory. And unneighborly. I totally get your stubbornness.
4:41 pm
I am in no place to judge. We refer to our nearest neighbors as Jethro and Mrs. Jethro. And I won’t tell you what happened to their dog when the hubby caught it once *again* in the middle of our 15 acres heading for the chicken coop. There are nice neighbors, then there are inconsiderate neighbors. The nice ones are a blessing – the others. Oy.
I like to think they are how God tests our compassion. Unfortunately (hangs head) we fail on that one pretty often. :-\ (but they shouldn’t let those darn dogs tear stuff up! or stalk my chickens!)
4:51 pm
GW,
she just thought it was ‘pretty’ right?! cute. ha!
LaLa,
um…. it’s worse than that. i was actually showing j-mom the empty raised beds that haven’t been planted yet. or filled with dirt yet. but these people have NO interest in gardening whatsoever and do not even grow trees or shrubs. i’d know the plants – and oooh that’s funny. i forgot she made that request. then when we said, “there? smell that? THAT’s it.” she thought we were wrong and it was actually sausage. (adorable!)
Mysti,
i’d have very little ability to show compassion to chicken stalkers. but no, don’t tell me what happened! yikes. we have managed to go talk calmly to try to resolve issues with the neighbors. but it doesn’t help. i think we deserve lots of credit for the effort though!!
5:12 pm
We used to have neighbors we didn’t like, they were renting the house next to mine and used to set off illegal fireworks at all hours and for no reason (we aren’t talking just Indepenence Day). I tried talking to them, they were drunk and threatening. I called the cops. They set the desert behind us on fire and another firework landed on their own roof sending sparks everywhere. Another neighbor lost his cool and threatened to beat the crap out of them (yea we had had enough of it). I finally wrote a letter to the homeowners explaining that they were gonna be sorry when these losers burnt their house down and it wouldn’t be covered because they knew their renters were using illegal fireworks. Luckily the owners believed me and evicted them (YAY!). Now our neighborhood bans together to get rid of the trash neighbors as fast as possible and new neighbors are warned that we all get along as long as everyone behaves like adults. I won’t aplologize for having them evicted. There was definitely not any love lost when they moved out.
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5:44 pm
We call our neighbor the creepy neighbors. A man and woman live there but you NEVER see the woman. Heard them argue once, though. A neighbor left her something nice on the doorstep cause she wouldnt answer her door and five minutes later the door opens, she pulls it in and shuts it really quickly. Also, a taxi will pull up in front every so often and a guy gets out, drops a case of beer on the doorstep, gets in the taxi and leaves. WEIRD! I saw her once pass by the open window on the side of the house (front blinds are always closed). The man goes to work and goes straight in the house. The only time he mows the lawn is when it is almost completely dark and about to rain. The blinds on the one window facing our house is always open and the light is always on, and I swear they were growing pot in there. I turned all the lights off in the living room and looked out the window one night with binoculars to check, pretty sure it was pot. Creepy neighbors.
10:49 pm
We had one of those… (sometimes I feel like being one of “those”)… They had this fence that was chain link. To make it taller (presumably to hide other activities), they attached corrugated tin to the top of it length-wise. Looked like C-R-A-P! I told my husband it was a cost saving measure, heck, if you lose a piece of tin, just go get a case of beer and hammer out the empties, Then you just glue them on with JB Weld.
Righ Jethro? Gosh, I thought I was a redneck!
Funny though, had problems with drunken fireworks too. They finally tore the house down so now it is just an empty lot.
11:44 pm
We got new neighbors a couple of months ago. I don’t like them. I have no real reason for this aside from the fact that they aren’t my old neighbors and I can’t really figure out exactly who lives there and what goes on. I have recently become that neighbor that no one likes. It really changed my perspective.
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10:21 am
Until about a month ago, we had neighbors living in a mobile home that was declared unfit for human habitation several years ago. No water, no electricity, no floor even, but somehow there was money for drugs. The new owner of the property is tearing the trailer down. Now if we could only figure out how to get rid of the across-the-street crazies….
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