Last week, there was an Incident at a baseball game. My only regret is not physically throwing myself right into the middle of it and yelling my outraged mommy face off in such a way that would have possibly benefitted small children.
Not my own small children. My own small children would have been shocked and embarrassed forEVER, not that I mind this possibility.
I was getting ready to watch Caden-7yr’s team win a game. Behind me, a team I’ll call the Catfish, was having their after-game meeting. The Catfish are having a bad season, and they were playing the only undefeated team. These little guys are eight years old and younger, and just got beat 19-5 and pretty much had a rough night.
But it was only just starting. Their coach LET. THEM. HAVE. IT.
He was personally offended with their performance. He was MAD. He yelled and demeaned those babies – by name – and pointed out their individual shortcomings. He gave them the option to opt out of the team. It went on. AND ON. And ON. Not one positive word. Nothing encouraging. Nothing at all, but this man’s personal feelings about how they had failed him. In the end, he thought they did the ‘all hands in, cheer’ thing wrong also, and even that proved how bad a team they were. My heart broke for these poor kids.
My mother and I cannot possibly watch Caden-7yr when this is going on behind us. I’m turned around completely in my chair giving this man a dirty look. Wondering why in the world these kids’ parents are standing there and taking this and NO ONE is standing up for these kids.
I don’t care if they did play badly.
They didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. No one does. It was THAT unacceptable.
I considered getting up and getting in the middle of it. A LOT. And I so should have. Mike was on the other side of my mother and probably would have helped me out if needed. (He was busy watching OUR kid play and missed all of this somehow.)
What stopped me was the parents. I looked at all of them, and not one of them seemed to be in disagreement. Not one of them seemed as outraged as my mother and I were for THEIR children. They seemed glassy eyed and bored and disinterested, but not offended. And that confused me. If I DID get up and go raise hell right there in the Catfish Post-Game Berating Session, there was a REAL good chance that no Catfish parent would be nice about my attempts to defend their kids.
Shoulda anyway.
NO QUESTION.
Even if I WERE the only person (and my cute little mommy, too, actually) there who would have stood up for those little kids… I should have. I hate the lingering burn of regret that comes with not doing the right thing. You know? I just HATE that feeling. I’m thinking about it today because the Catfish play a team that will undoubtedly beat them by a lot, and I’m worried about this little team of precious boys. I’m tempted to go tonight and jump in if necessary if this coach does it again and maybe belatedly right a definite wrong. Save the Catfish! and all that.
What I DID do that night was all but exhaust my best Dirty Mom Look . Ack. No. Um… Mom-Style Dirty Expression On Face Look. Right, see, it just doesn’t have the right sound. And then I took a picture of the coach with my phone so his identity could not be disputed, texted a coach in the league who had me write a long, long email to the league officials describing every last bit of what I heard that I could remember, which was a LOT since I couldn’t let it go. And then I asked my mom to do the same, which she did, and I don’t know if it did any good. I got a positive “oh, nuh UH that is unacceptable, thank you, we will address it” sort of email response, instantly, but is that enough? I don’t know. I should have recorded the whole thing. I should have done a lot that I didn’t.
I might go save some Catfish.
I love you.
11:05 am
Please please please follow up on this with the league board. That man is not a coach, and should not be allowed anywhere near anyone’s children. that is ABUSE. My Wick used to coach little league. He took a lot of flack from parents who were totally focused on winning, because he made sure that every child who came to practice got to play an equal amount of time. We lost a lot of games, but the boys had fun and learned a lot of skills. The last year these boys were eligible to play little league, every one of them made the all-star team. Not because of Wick, but because they were allowed to learn at their own speed, get experience on the field, and feel good about themselves. Thanks for caring.
Jan recently posted..Mothers Day 2011
12:26 pm
Save the Catfish! I do hope the league listens to your complaint. That is AWFUL. I can’t believe all the other parents just let him do that.
12:29 pm
Jan,
Thank you. I really can’t just let it go. Not sure exactly what it looks like yet, but I’ll certainly be sticking my nose in this one some more.
I can SO picture Wick being a great coach! He has that whole ‘patient teacher’ thing going for him – always an asset with kids sports.
12:31 pm
Well, hey Lala!
J-Mom and I decided those parents probably have heard it all season, and are worn down by it. Maybe they tried to do something early on, but weren’t heard. I don’t know. Maybe they’re afraid their kid won’t get as much playing time if they object? Hard to say. It’s a great league – first time in 2 yrs I’ve seen anything like this. Hopefully they’ve already handled it, but I’ll stay on it!
2:56 pm
That is SO wrong on so many levels. Ditto all of the follow up comments.
It happened in my boys’ league earlier in the season (on another team) and the manager was reported and talked to. He had to publicly apologize to the kids AND the parents. I hope enough of them put in the end of the year evaluation because he was a jack*ss to me too. (I’m a scorekeeper.) He shouldn’t be allowed to coach again, and neither should the Catfish coach.
My son’s manager this year is so fantastic that I’m brewing a post about it. Best, most positive Little League experience ever-and we’ve been in the league for 5 or 6 years. (Not to say that we haven’t had good experiences in the past, but this dude seriously ROCKS.)
Headless Mom recently posted..Not Getting Better
4:04 pm
HM,
I have great respect for people who can coach kids’ teams with knowledge of sports and still be encouraging and positive. i couldn’t do it. It makes me wonder when I see someone like this guy – and like the manager you described – WHY are they coaching? Makes you really appreciate the ones like your son’s manager, right?
And you’re a scorekeeper? very cool! I only have just learned how scoring works in baseball, and i think there are probably some areas i still don’t understand. you rock.
K
10:05 pm
I’m glad you and your mom complained to the league. I hope it makes a difference. Daughter’s league is indifferent to everything unless you complain long enough and loud enough. I am so with you regarding the jumping in thing. I did that a few weeks ago, but to a parent who was berating her daughters team and also my daughters team (their opponents). I thought maybe I lost it since I’m all pregnant and hormonal and witchy but I am glad I did, and then I got all unladylike when she tried to comment back and told her to shut it. It made me feel better, plus she actually DID shut it. I, however, now have to sit with the rest of my teams parents when hubby can’t accompany me because he doesn’t think I can control myself. I can, I just won’t. GOOD FOR YOU for standing up for the Catfish.
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..Secretly feeding the dog my ice cream
9:25 pm
I like to help out but don’t want to be team mom. Luckily there are 4 of us this year so we paired up and trade off home games. It’s nice that we are sharing duties-makes it seem like a lot less work!
Headless Mom recently posted..Who Wins