This morning I tried everything I could think of in order to get Caden-7yr in a “baseball mindset.”  I sang. I danced. I pep talked and mothered and pulled out ALL the motivational stops. I turned up EMF’s “Unbelievable” and told him it was for him because he was going to be unbelievable on the field today. I made a fool of myself, gladly, in order to inspire that sweet child. I sang “Centerfield” –ALL of it, because I know all of it and also because I couldn’t think of what else to do.  But imitating the way John Fogerty pronounces some of those lyrics was pure maternal love, and the effort was utterly lost on Caden-7yr.

Nothing I tried broke through his pre-game stoicism.

I asked if he was nervous.

No.

I asked if he was upset or had a stomachache.

No.

Finally, frustrated, I told him I would do or say or sing whatever was necessary to help him get ready for his game. I told him that I was excited to watch and wanted him to be excited to play. He rolled his eyes and said, “Mom. I do not need anything.”

“WHAT? I’m your mommy and I want you to need me and come ON, lemme help. Let’s visualize hits and you tell me where they go and what base you end up on.”

“Uh? No.”

He was right, actually. He didn’t need anything. He had an amazing game and their team did a great job and won.

I probably had more fun than he did, even, but that’s all right. Is it really too much to ask to be needed by a 7 yr old? I mean, he can’t even tuck his shirt into his baseball pants without my help yet. Shouldn’t he need me just a little bit more, still? I tie the cleats. I mean, really. Let me mother you to pieces just a little bit more, sweet baby, you are ONLY seven.

In the middle of the game, my mom was telling me about how she’d said to the boys the other day, “I know your mama didn’t raise you to be disrespectful.”

(I don’t really want to know what occurred that prompted that particular announcement.)

And Caden-7yr said, “No. My mama raised ME to be respectful and funny.”

And… that’s adorable. But my mother told him that actually he just IS funny, and it’s not that I raised him to be that way.

Although I think if he wants to give me credit for this, it should totally be allowed. Especially since I can’t do anything whatsoever that has any value at all to his pre-game mindset.

(unbelievable.)

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