You might not think it sounds like a big deal to ruthlessly slay and murder thousands of fleas… but you’d be wrong.  It requires vacuuming your whole house TWICE and supervising your pets outside for 2 hours minimum and doing a ton of laundry and cleaning everything, but without the satisfaction of feeling like you’ve actually accomplished cleanliness. The deadness of the fleas means you’ve won – but it’s not the sort of win that feels like a triumph.

Regardless, I’d like to take a moment to thank the people who made this important victory possible:

Mainly, my mother, who came and took the kids so that the battle could be waged properly with chemicals and some measure of efficiency. I canNOT imagine yesterday without her help. Thank GOD she doesn’t live in another country, still.

and my sister, who sent encouraging texts and advice filled emails and she praised  my flea slaying prowess and that matters.

They are DEAD, those fleas.

Inside, outside, animals, garage, and oh yes – the CAR (gag, gag, gag) when I realized last night at baseball practice that fleas were hopping all over me as I sat next to a prairie dog hole and that might have been the source of The Whole Stupid Problem in the first place. One last fogger in the garage to make sure the car wasn’t infested and I think we’re all good now.  (And if we’re not, I swear I’ll change my non-accessorizing ways and start wearing a flea collar and so will the kids. The kids wear weird things anyway, it’ll hardly be noticeable.)

The necessary 7000 loads of laundry is ongoing. But that’s all right.

That was the Battle of Yesterday, and today is a new and glorious flea-free day.  Today I focused on baking cookies with the little guys. Today I ran smack into an automatic door at the grocery store that didn’t open for some reason, and…? No big deal. (It’s not that I’m small. It’s that I lack presence, I think. Automatic doors have always dissed me in this way.) Today there is a baseball game I will be thrilled to attend, regardless of heat because I think I like the kids’ games even more than they do. Today Mike sent a text saying the weather is pretty in Canada, and hello? I did not find fault with that. I am not conflicted with this. I’m GLAD for Mike and the Canadians and their pretty weather because that is as it should be.  I have matured greatly since yesterday.

Yesterday Mike sent a brief email that ended with the words “I love Mike” and I about went through the roof. He meant, “I love you, FROM Mike” or something like that, but the small error seemed like an accidental, freudian leak of a sad truth about priorities and THAT is what standing next to a flea fogger for too long can do to you. Even if you’re just reading the label one last time to be sure you’re doing it right, dummy, do that BEFORE you set it off.  I wrote back something kind and understanding like “SELF LOVE IS IMPORTANT.” Right. And then I wondered all day if ‘self love’ isn’t a literal euphemism for something else entirely that I did not really intend to insert into that email at all… and wow, THAT’S lovely and strange of me… but whatever.

At 11 pm last night someone rang the doorbell and ran off. This happens. Kids are particularly obnoxious in this neighborhood. But I’d had a DAY, and I’d killed the fleas and I was high on the win of the war and don’t MESS with the Flea Slayer, nuh UH. I threw on clothes as fast as I could and flew out the door to patrol and catch and intimidate some kids with my five feet four inches of flea fogger perfumed essence. I couldn’t find them, and they are SO lucky. We have a loud doorbell. I protect my 3  babies’ sleep like it is every bit as precious as it is and they have NO idea how lucky they were that I did not find them and march them home. Do not MESS with a tired-but-still-feisty flea killer.

Today… all is good. I’m excited about my pest-free home, the cookies in the kitchen, the kids taking naps, the baseball game later, and the hot sun because for once I am not cold.

Mike sent a text saying he’d call soon and that’s good. Because I love Mike. We both love Mike, actually. We have this in common, and isn’t that all that matters? Today is good.

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