Saturday, July 30th 2011
Menfolk: It Is Now Safe To Come Out From Your Hiding Places

I tell y’all everything. Everything of significance. And if I can’t for some reason, I find a way to hint at it until I FEEL as if I have. Or to tell you without being specific. But I can’t just disappear, have a horrific week, and then return and pretend nothing went down. It wouldn’t be right. Y’all probably wouldn’t ever notice, but it would matter to me.

Confession (not that I regret this, in case the word ‘confession’ implies regret):

Earlier in the week I went OFF on 3 different men in 24 hours. 2 of whom had it coming for years, and 1 who was completely innocent, and trying to help, and he got an immediate apology. (Oops. I did regret that one.)

 

There’s something to be said for just ‘losing it’ like that. I’ve never watched an episode of “Snapped.” Have y’all? It mighta looked like the beginning of one of those shows, though.

One of the 3 men asked why I was ‘using’ anger to get a certain response. As if it was just a big dramatic manipulation. As if I do that. (I don’t.) I felt my forehead start to ache as my eyes got even bigger and crazier and I yelled, “I am not USING anger. THIS! IS! ME! BE!ING! ANGRY!”  And that’s the problem with habitually not showing anger when you feel anger. When you finally DO because you cannot take it anymore – it is unrecognizable to other members of the species.

I didn’t think I was a volcano type OR  someone who ‘stuffed’ problems and feelings. Really, recent seismic explosions notwithstanding, I still don’t. Usually, I take whatever amount of processing time is necessary, then return to calmly communicate whatever is wrong and work it out. I intentionally wait until there are almost no feelings or emotions left that would cloud the conversational clarity or make the other person uncomfortable. (there’s something weird with that, I know. I just hate to inconvenience people, ever.)

So this was a particularly opposite response for me. The fallout has yet to be determined. That night, I got only 3 hours of sleep and was so out of it the next day that I needed my mom to drive the boys and me to swim lessons and back. She offered, and I was so grateful, because I could not possibly drive.

Also? When I am sleep deprived, I spit when I speak. Every few minutes I’d say something that made NO sense, because I also cannot think when I am too tired, but then I’d have to mop off my face or my child, or my mother’s arm, or whatever else I’d just spat upon. Fortunately, I thought this was hysterically funny because if I hadn’t, it would have made me cry.

Then, after that 24 hour period, I was a bit afraid of myself. Like the Incredible Hulk. Like, what the HELL have I turned into and will God protect the Menfolk Of The World from me until I return to normal? And WILL I return to normal? And do I even want to return to normal? Because, DANG there are really some things finally maybe getting resolved in my life right now huh we’ll see. And all of that.

I’ve never seen anything “Incredible Hulk.” Except Caden-7yr’s underwear. If that particular analogy didn’t make sense.

 

And there we have it. I was hesitant to blog. In the interest of blog-honesty and for the safety of the Menfolk, and all, in case there were any hanging about. But I think I’m fine now.  I’m not mad or tired or spitting.

I’m betting episodes of “Snapped” never end well.

But let’s not dwell on that.

~hm

6 Comments on “Menfolk: It Is Now Safe To Come Out From Your Hiding Places”

1
Mysti
August 1st, 2011
2:19 pm

WHY do so many men assume that we “use” anger instead of just admitting that women have just as much right to get angry as they do? Hmph.

(Does it make me a bad person to wish we had actually gotten to see the infamous Holy Mama going off? Or just nosy?)

2
Kelsey
August 1st, 2011
9:02 pm

Mysti,

I don’t know the answer to that… In my case it was probably as honest question borne from sheer confusion – I just don’t ever show anger. if you HAD been around to see it, you probably would have snorted and said, “oh honey, let me show you how it’s REALLY done.” I’m not very good at it. Yet.
: )
Kelsey recently posted..Menfolk: It Is Now Safe To Come Out From Your Hiding Places

3
Melissa
August 1st, 2011
10:18 pm

Man, have I ever had one of those days, I mean er.. uh.. weeks, er ….. uh . Well, heck, you know what I am talking about.

I’m not even sure it’s hormones. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know that I spit when I get angry but I think I get a little wild-eyed. Kinda like a goat going for slaughter. Not sure what that’s all about. Can you picture an older woman’s face with religious zeal as she mows down a bar full of misbehaving men? I am sure you get the picture.

Wait, maybe it is hormones after all. hehe!

Ok, girl. I have hopefully inserted the link to my blog. I haven’t been doing it long and quiet frankly I suck just a wee bit at it. Feeling a little exposed with it, but what they hey. You’re pretty exposed so let’s just say you inspired me.
Melissa recently posted..But God has called us to better things…

4
Mysti
August 2nd, 2011
3:06 pm

Oh no – you don’t want to see that K! Because I do the embarassing head wag thing and have been known to actually verbalize “Oh no you di’n't.” Much to my sons’ chagrin.

(Which is why I try to keep the temper under control. Besides it being all mature and stuff. *shrug*)

5
Kelsey
August 2nd, 2011
11:49 pm

Melissa,
SO EXCITED, thank you for FINALLY telling me – you can’t un-tell me. now you’re in my bloglines thingy and i’ll never go away. ha.

Mysti
you must TEACH me this!! if i’m going to learn to be all vocal with the anger, then at least i can do it with some personality!
Kelsey recently posted..Menfolk: It Is Now Safe To Come Out From Your Hiding Places

6
Mysti
August 3rd, 2011
9:36 am

Kelsey – are you sure you want to go down that path? Because I guarantee you – if you do the embarrassing head wag thingy with a male who knows you well – like say….a husband?….they tend to crack up. And when you’re really angry enough to break out the head wag – having the person you’re angry with cracking up doesn’t make things any better at the time.

(Later however – it can lead to some serious late night giggle fests)

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