Friday, July 15th 2011
Oh, it’s ME, not them. RIGHT.

I’d like to write a post about how adorable and loving and sweet my children are. Because they really are. I’m feeling guilty for all the posts about when they’ve been so much less than adorable and loving. It seems to be getting out of balance. Like I’m only telling the awful stuff. And leaving out the cute.

I’ve thought that for a few days now.  And so I’ve looked for the cute.

There IS NO CUTE.

I think it’s gone.

Or, worse,  my ability to see it is gone.

I’ve turned into one of those weary mothers with bad hair who cannot see the beauty and sweetness in children, i just KNOW IT and it happened right here, this week, on this blog and it’s all documented in the archives for all of us to refer back to, GREAT.

There was one of those mothers today at Chick Fil A. She had three cute little girls with big, blue eyes and she was hard at work on her laptop. Every time one of her kids needed something, she snapped about how there was no point in her being there if they were going to keep talking to her. The kids stopped talking to her.

I felt badly for them, but I wondered if I’m not exactly like that mom sometimes. Seth-5yr announced loudly the other day, “My mom is MEAN.” He was cheerful about it. He didn’t mean right that second. I asked him what he was talking about and he said, “Mom. Sometimes you ARE. That’s all.” And then he shrugged.

It’s my job to parent him in a way that he thinks this at least occasionally. I know. But I was still surprised to hear him broadcast his findings to everyone in the church parking lot.

So maybe they are a little stir-crazy and hard to manage.  But maybe that just means I need to get a little more energy going and catch UP to them. Try harder.

I just told them to set up the Slip n Slide and I’d join them. Not that I WANT to. I just really don’t want to be that mean mom today, or the one who doesn’t have time to listen to her kids. I GET to stay home with them and am so honored that this is my life. There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing than figuring out how to mother these particular kids. Even if it means swimwear and hurtling across a wet piece of plastic that is dangerously close to dog poo.

They’re probably still cute, these kids.

I just need to get out there and get close enough to see it.

~hm

5 Comments on “Oh, it’s ME, not them. RIGHT.”

1
Mysti
July 15th, 2011
1:49 pm

Eh. I wore my “mean mom” badge proudly – sometimes it’s required to be a *good* mom, being “mean” occasionally. So go jump on the slip & slide – that’s what the boys will remember someday. Take it from someone who should have jumped on the slip & slide more when her boys were cutie patooties.

2
Jan
July 15th, 2011
7:16 pm

“Dirt, settle down.
Dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby,
and babies don’t keep.”

Yes, we have to be mean sometimes. But we also need to set everything else aside sometimes, and enjoy this moment in time.

3
Mother T
July 16th, 2011
8:28 am

I have been in your emotional shoes more times than I care to admit, even as a grandmother. Sometimes you just have to make yourself play with the kids, and eventually you feel the excitement coming back. It’s a good thing that we don’t LOVE based on our emotions, but on our commitment to our children!

4
Kelsey
July 16th, 2011
10:06 pm

Mysti,
i do believe in the importance of being the MeanMom also. But, as soon as you tell the internet you’re going to go on the slip n slide with your kids, they will fall apart and be so tired that then you have to say, “oh. babes. you are too tired for water, huh?” and because they are SO STINKIN SWEET, they will – with quavery voices – blink up at you through their tears and say, “yes. Yes we are.” and then you tuck them in for naps and don’t have to put on a swimsuit after all.

Jan,
that is SOOO sweet?!

Mother T,
that’s exactly what i was trying to say, but i think you said it better! : )

5
Jennifer Sullivan
July 17th, 2011
2:22 am

Yeah well I decided a couple days ago that I don’t think I really like kids. In general they just irritate me. So I totally understand your problem, since she’s coming and NOW I’ve decided that maybe kids are kinda irritating. Maybe we’re just irritable because it’s hotter than hell and they are around ALL the time? Maybe school helps us to see their cuteness because we get a little break from them every once in a while, and all that absence makes the heart grow fonder stuff happens? Maybe, I don’t know. I think your kids are cute and I don’t even LIKE kids right now… But then again a couple hundred miles may increase cuteness.

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